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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
SavageBeauty73 · 13/02/2019 21:11

Can't you go to prison for this?

nocoolnamesleft · 13/02/2019 21:11

It's illegal. Wasn't an MP recently sentenced to jail time for dumping points onto her husband?

lastqueenofscotland · 13/02/2019 21:11

Don’t do it it is hugely illegal. You can get done for fraud which would be far bigger a charge than a speeding awareness course

PinkHeart5914 · 13/02/2019 21:11

No I wouldn’t and my dh wouldn’t ask me too anyway, and if he wanted to live he wouldn’t word it as yours did

veeboo · 13/02/2019 21:12

YABU. This is illegal, very often results in prosecution and a prison sentence.

ginandtonicformeplease · 13/02/2019 21:12

An MP has just gone to prison for giving her points to someone else! It's a serious criminal offence, another former minister and his ex-wife both went to prison when she was found to have taken points for him. Don't do it.

MeganJPerry · 13/02/2019 21:12

No. Go himself or take the fine and points. End of story!

thenightsky · 13/02/2019 21:12

Its an awareness course, not points, so it won't affect him anyway. He should go do the course and maybe it will help him to not speed again.

Lolkittens5 · 13/02/2019 21:12

Don’t do the speed awareness course.

He needs to do it as he was the one speeding and you shouldn’t be spoken to like that either.

Creatureofthenight · 13/02/2019 21:12

No fucking way would I be taking points on my licence. If he doesn’t want them he should slow down.
However as you have previously broken the law for him I suppose he would think it’s no big deal to get you to do it again.

hidinginthenightgarden · 13/02/2019 21:12

Do not do this!
He is expecting you to take the fall every time he messes up. When is he going to stop screwing up? Never! Because you are there to mop up his mess for him.

FlagFish · 13/02/2019 21:13

Don’t do this - it’s illegal. And your DP has a fucking cheek to expect you to.

Billballbaggins · 13/02/2019 21:13

You could both end up in prison for perverting the course of justice and your DP could lose his licence if you do this.

donajimena · 13/02/2019 21:13

Don't be so daft. Its illegal. He shouldn't even ask you.

SimoneStrasser · 13/02/2019 21:13

No way would I take points for his bloody speeding.

Will it cause issues in your marriage if you refuse?

LIZS · 13/02/2019 21:13

So he confirmed you as driver. Both cheeky and illegal.

LovingLola · 13/02/2019 21:13

Out of interest, what’s your situation financially? How many children do you have with him?

AnyFucker · 13/02/2019 21:14

Don't be an idiot

Bombardier25966 · 13/02/2019 21:15

It is a criminal offence, perverting the course of justice, and it is something the courts take very seriously.

Nacreous · 13/02/2019 21:15

My grandad had a saying for when I had bright ideas like that: "that's fraud and you go to prison for it". Said in a light-hearted voice with a deadly serious undertone, to remove any thoughts I might have had about acting on said bright idea.

Unfortunately, you need to sort it, as it's your car and the speeding ticket is currently with you. You need to do what the law says and inform them that it wasn't you driving and who was driving. And not dole out legal paperwork to other people without reading what happens with it.

Annoying, frustrating and dull. But unfortunately stuff like that really has to be done by you and you alone. And really has to be completed honestly, in line with the law's requirements.

Stickerrocks · 13/02/2019 21:15

Perhaps he needs to attend the speed awareness course as he obviously doesn't understand what a speed limit is. How will you feel when he breaks the law again and does some serious harm to himself or someone else? What if you inadvertently get caught speeding and lose your licence because you've got points on your licence that you have taken illegallynon his behalf? Grow up.

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:15

NO DO NOT DO THIS NO NO NO.

It's worrying as fuck that he even asked. What is your relationship like generally? How many kids? Do you have full access to money?

Lolkittens5 · 13/02/2019 21:16

Oh well if he’s already confirmed you as the driver that’s even worse!!

Disfordarkchocolate · 13/02/2019 21:16

He is being an arse, don't put your license at risk by lying. Don't let yourself be put down this way in your marriage either.

Grandadwasthatyou · 13/02/2019 21:17

Does he realise the serious implications of asking you to do this? If he does and he is still asking you to do it I would be questioning your relationship.