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AIBU?

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Original poster

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
reallyanotherone · 13/02/2019 21:18

So he confirmed you as driver. Both cheeky and illegal

This. He has lied on the original form. You should have filled it out yourself with his details, and left the fall out to him.

Now you’re listed as the driver, so you’re already in the shit. You could take the spped awareness course and hope you don’t get found out, or phone the police/dvla and confess. Which almost certainly will land him in trouble, and possibly you as the form would have been your responsibility as you are the vehicle owner.

I’d be taking legal advice, tbh.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 13/02/2019 21:18

Doing this carries an immediate custodial sentence.

How will your children cope without you for 3 months?

PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2019 21:18

Echoing everyone else, this is illegal. You can’t let this stand as you driving.

Original poster
Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:19

He said that he is always the one to drive when we go anywhere at weekends/on holiday so proportionally he is the one who will get the speeding tickets ?? May I add I have never had a speeding ticket!

OP posts:
DonaldTwain · 13/02/2019 21:19

FFS why do people do this? So fucking stupid

Lifecraft · 13/02/2019 21:20

@LISZ-So he confirmed you as driver. Both cheeky and illegal.

Errr.....no. OP says the car is in her name so of course it's come to her. She then takes the rap, or returns it naming her husband as the driver.

OP, loads of couples take each others points, even though it is pretty stupid thing to do. What they don't do is talk on a public forum. That's a whole new level of stupidity.

DuffBeer · 13/02/2019 21:20

I did this once, although I wasn't trying to defraud the system, I genuinely thought it was my husband driving the car on that day so I contested it and told them it was him. They then replied and produced a photo image of me behind the wheel!

PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2019 21:20

What are you going to do about it now? I get the feeling you’re going to let it stand

Original poster
Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:21

It was 35mph in a 30mph zone.

OP posts:
Lolkittens5 · 13/02/2019 21:21

@litecraft

She then said she got a speed awareness court summons in her name which means he has applied for speed awareness in her name after receiving the original summons.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/02/2019 21:21

The letter asking who was driving was addressed to you.

Why didn’t you fill it in.

It was for you to fill in not him

Bombardier25966 · 13/02/2019 21:21

Points are not something that can be proportioned across households!

Holidayshopping · 13/02/2019 21:22

I received one of these last year because the car is in my name. I had to fill it out and say I wasn’t the driver and give DH’s details. He then got the next letter in his name and filled in saying he was the driver and then another letter where he opted to do the speed awareness course.

I actually cannot believe your DH has already filled the form in as you. He hasn’t told you and expects you to just take his points.

I don’t think I could remain in a relationship with someone that twattish.

OttilieKnackered · 13/02/2019 21:23

Eugh what an arse.

Arrogant enough to speed repeatedly and expect no consequences. Cunty enough to try and get his wife to take the blame.

TortoiseLettuce · 13/02/2019 21:23

My friend took points for her DH on a couple of occasions. Then one day a pedestrian walked out in front of her and she killed him. The prosecuting lawyer said my friend has a history of speeding which has to be taken into account! She can’t turn around now and admit it was her DH. Bad bad idea to take points for someone else.

DonaldTwain · 13/02/2019 21:23

Anyone who contemplated this shouldn’t be driving. Just a whole new level of stupid

reallyanotherone · 13/02/2019 21:23

Errr.....no. OP says the car is in her name so of course it's come to her. She then takes the rap, or returns it naming her husband as the driver

You have to return the form with the driver details, regardless of who the form was sent to. Likely it’s the vehicle keeper’s responsibility though, so she should have filled in the form.

InProgress · 13/02/2019 21:23

Google taking points for husband, there's a Daily Fail article from 2011 (sorry couldn't copy link) where the mother asked her mum to take her speeding points. Both of them landed in court, both paid fines and the mother also got 6months ban plus 125 hours community service. She writes that she was lucky not to get a custodial sentence.

Don't take the course.

NotAgainSilly · 13/02/2019 21:23

It is illegal. You are breaking the law and can get sent to prison for it.

Lifecraft · 13/02/2019 21:23

So he confirmed you as driver. Both cheeky and illegal

This. He has lied on the original form. You should have filled it out yourself with his details, and left the fall out to him.

Now you’re listed as the driver, so you’re already in the shit. You could take the spped awareness course and hope you don’t get found out, or phone the police/dvla and confess. Which almost certainly will land him in trouble, and possibly you as the form would have been your responsibility as you are the vehicle owner.

Noooooo. Read the thread ffs. That hasn't happened. She is the keeper of the vehicle, so she gets the original notification. The speed camera doesn't know the driver's name!!! She then has to return the form naming him, but he's asking her not to. He hasn't done anything wrong......yet. Neither has she.

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:24

He said that he is always the one to drive when we go anywhere at weekends/on holiday so proportionally he is the one who will get the speeding tickets ??

Or yknow he could NOT FUCKING SPEED.

OP this is a problem. He has broken the law and dropped you in the shit. And his total contempt for you and your time doesn't speak well for your marriage either. No, it is not normal to take shit like this "for the sake of family harmony". It's normal for people to not be law-breaking arseholes, that's how you get family harmony. By people actually being kind and caring to each other and taking the consequences when they screw up.

LIZS · 13/02/2019 21:24

She gave it to him to deal with, even though it should be the owner who confirms who was driving. He chose to respond that it was op. If he had not responded at all there is further action for not replying. Is he already near a ban perhaps?

Quartz2208 · 13/02/2019 21:24

It’s illegal and really says that he thinks he is oh so important

Who will have the kids op when you are at the course

And maybe he speeds because he has had the course

You are married to an arse

Holidayshopping · 13/02/2019 21:24

The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving

I don’t understand why you did that. It was addressed to you and you should have filled it in. Yet, you gave it to someone who has ALREADY previously expected you to take his points for him.

Villanellesproudmum · 13/02/2019 21:25

You have to be careful here as they may already know who the driver is if they have a photo and will be monitoring your response, one of my daughters friends parent works for the local Police catching drivers out and they prosecute no question.