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Original poster

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 13/02/2019 21:50

It's fraud and your H is a fuckwit for asking.

Belenus · 13/02/2019 21:50

I couldn't be with someone who asked me to risk a jail sentence because they couldn't be bothered to obey road traffic law. Both things show a breathtaking arrogance and self importance.

Your husband is vile OP, and I don't say that lightly.

FlamingoFlamenco · 13/02/2019 21:51

His attitude towards this tells you EXACTLY what he thinks of you Op. Don't do this for him. How will he ever learn consequences if he gets away with pulling this crap.

You are worth so much more than this. Stand up for yourself and get your life back.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 13/02/2019 21:51

Saying you are not sure just makes it worse. You are sure. Saying you are not is a lie and potentially a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. You are getting yourself into a whole heap of trouble.

Nicknacky · 13/02/2019 21:52

rosen wouldn’t it have been just as hard on your family if they were visiting you in prison?

Let’s not pretend the courts turn a blind eye to this.

Belenus · 13/02/2019 21:53

I know it's illegal but he was going to be banned and it would of been really hard on the family if he was banned.

Then he should damn well obey the law. Why are you enabling this dangerous arsehole to remain on the road?

AliceLutherNeeMorgan · 13/02/2019 21:53

This bit was the mistake:

I gave it to DP to sort

Yes, it’s his problem, but the letter is to you, OP. You are supposed to fill it in and sign it. I think if you are going to back-track you will need to be honest - and accept that there will be a backlash, as between you, you’ve fraudulently moved the blame.

RainbowWaffles · 13/02/2019 21:54

It is your responsibility to return the form so he would have to have forged your signature. He has peverted the course of justice, which as other pp have detailed, is a serious offence and one for which an MP was infamously imprisoned. Changing the story to ‘we don’t know’ is the same thing as you do know. Contact them and tell them that DH was driving and that the original submission contained a mistake.

Bryjam · 13/02/2019 21:55

I've taken my dh's speeding points and I know of others who have done the same thing and nothing happened. I know it's illegal but he was going to be banned and it would of been really hard on the family if he was banned.

Aww bless.

emzw12 · 13/02/2019 21:55

Doing this didn't exactly end well for the MP who's been in the media - now in prison!

GreatWesternValkyrie · 13/02/2019 21:57

He said that he is always the one to drive when we go anywhere at weekends/on holiday so proportionally he is the one who will get the speeding tickets ?

There’s nothing proportional about it, it’s not an allowance of points! Sounds like he could do with going on the course. Followed by an eye test as he obviously can’t spot a speed camera.

Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

They wouldn’t wven ask and they certainly wouldn’t stitch me up in the way your H has done to you. That’s appalling.

Orangeballon · 13/02/2019 21:57

Doing this is illegal and you will regret it when you eventually divorce.

RomanyQueen1 · 13/02/2019 21:57

it's fraud and I'm sorry but I hope you both get done.

makingmammaries · 13/02/2019 21:57

Unless you actually want your DP to get into huge trouble, I’d let sleeping dogs lie on this occasion and do the course. You might have honestly thought that it was you driving. But I’d make it clear to him that any points or fines he gets from now on are his own problem. That’s what I did to my DH, and he stopped speeding.
Also, you don’t have to let him hog the wheel on days out and holidays - just a thought.

Bryjam · 13/02/2019 21:57

He said that he is always the one to drive when we go anywhere at weekends/on holiday so proportionally he is the one who will get the speeding tickets ?

Did he not consider perhaps just like, maybe not speeding? Because that shit would eliminate the risk Grin

whitehorsesdonotlie · 13/02/2019 21:58

He sounds like a self-important knob. Why is your time less important than this? Fill in the form, naming him as the driver.

Even if he does all the driving, if he stuck to the speed limit, he wouldn’t get any tickets, would he? Mad argument.

GahWhatever · 13/02/2019 22:00

Oh Dear.
Your DH has already opened himself (and you, alas) up to criminal prosecution by filling in a form in your name lying about who was driving the car.
At this point you can either take the course, say nothing and hope for the best, getting away with it (happens a lot) or contact them and explain the mistake, which puts your DH in the frame for perverting the course of justice. If you choose the former and get away with it you are both criminals. If you choose the former and don't get away with it he's probably going to get a custodial sentence and you'll get a criminal record. If you choose the latter he'll be in trouble but will get a rap on the knuckles (if anything) and you will be fine.

magoria · 13/02/2019 22:00

Who is going to look after your DC if you get a prison sentence?

diddl · 13/02/2019 22:00

"Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?"

Absolutely not.

But then I've no need to as I'm not married to an irresponsible twat.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/02/2019 22:00

He's done this before and he will do it again - because HE isn't suffering any consequences.

What if the next time he is speeding he hits and killed someone? You will have facilitated their death because you have done nothing to persuade him to drive responsibly.

It's nt just illegal, it's downright irresponsible.

lostelephant · 13/02/2019 22:01

That’s what I did to my DH, and he stopped speeding.

What a hero Confused

ClarabellaCTL · 13/02/2019 22:02

I cannot believe that there are people out there as idiotic as this. You've already broken the law once by taking his points before. Now your posting on an internet forum to ask if you should do it again? Knock yourself out, you can't fix stupid.

GahWhatever · 13/02/2019 22:02

..and you are right to be absolutely furious. He is being unreasonable for being offended by your tone. FFS!!

makingmammaries · 13/02/2019 22:02

@lostelephant, did I say he was a hero? And are you always so rude?

UniversalAunt · 13/02/2019 22:04

If the driver has been banned, is not the driver insurance invalid ?

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