Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
GruciusMalfoy · 13/02/2019 21:25

Proportionally he is the one who'll be the most tickets?! He's clearly learned bugger all from past fines and points. He needs to learn that his driving style needs to be looked at.

Lolkittens5 · 13/02/2019 21:25

You have to apply for a speed awareness course after you receive the original letter.

That’s what I got from OPs post anyway that she’s been accepted for a speed awareness course.

OP ??

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:25

She then has to return the form naming him, but he's asking her not to. He hasn't done anything wrong......yet.

He returned the form naming her as the driver already. He has.

Hushnownobodycares · 13/02/2019 21:25

Don't so it, OP. Google Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce.

Hushnownobodycares · 13/02/2019 21:26

do

Bluelonerose · 13/02/2019 21:26

He would of had to sign the letter and send it back so has he forged your signature too Shock

ChoudeBruxelles · 13/02/2019 21:26

It’s perjury. You can get a criminal conviction for it and ultimate get a custodial sentence.

reallyanotherone · 13/02/2019 21:26

She then has to return the form naming him, but he's asking her not to. He hasn't done anything wrong......yet. Neither has she

She gave him the form- and he has returned it naming her as the driver.

Nacreous · 13/02/2019 21:27

Lifecraft

I think she got one letter, gave it to him to deal with, and has now got another letter inviting her to a speed awareness course. This implies he filled out the form relating to letter one, saying it was her driving. Or that's how I read it anyway.

Holidayshopping · 13/02/2019 21:27

Noooooo. Read the thread ffs. That hasn't happened. She is the keeper of the vehicle, so she gets the original notification

No-you haven’t read the thread.

The original letter (addressed to her as she is the named driver) came a while back and she gave it to her DH. He has clearly filled it in as her, saying she was driving.

Maelstrop · 13/02/2019 21:28

No flipping way. I can’t believe he completed the form and returned it saying you were the driver. What a wanker! That’s already illegal. God knows what will happen if he’s found out for falsifying documents, but tough shit, it was him, not you, he gets to do the course, not you. He won’t get points-this time.

Holidayshopping · 13/02/2019 21:28

The letters don’t offer or discuss speed awareness courses or fines/points until the person committing the crime has been established

DonaldTwain · 13/02/2019 21:28

Lifecraft he’s already returned the form saying, dishonestly, that she was driving. That’s why she has got the invitation to the course.
He’s already in deep shit. Don’t follow him into it. He’s risking prison all because he thinks he’s too important to take a speeding course. I’d be interested to understand who employs this fuckwit to do anything.

Villanellesproudmum · 13/02/2019 21:28

See as per Duffbeers post, it happens a lot.

LIZS · 13/02/2019 21:29

And it could well be he would not have been offered a speed awareness course , with previous driving history.

Nicknacky · 13/02/2019 21:29

You do realise it was your responsibility to fill it out, not your husband?

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 13/02/2019 21:29

NOOOOOOOO and FFS yourself Litecraft

the op has the letter for the course and not for the first time

I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:30

See as per Duffbeers post, it happens a lot.

And people get caught a lot. And sometimes go to prison. Also the OP doesn't want to do it, and why the fuck should she?

SeeYouLaterUserData · 13/02/2019 21:30

Here you go OP...and they both went to jail about 10 years after committing the crime.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2013/mar/11/chris-huhne-vicky-pryce

Laska2Meryls · 13/02/2019 21:30

DH boss and his wife did this, Police prosecuted as camera showed they were lying, they got a huge fine , and narrowly escaped custodial sentence. . Seriously dont

BackforGood · 13/02/2019 21:30

Wow. Of course YABU - not for being cross with him, but for
a) not dealing with your own post in the first place
b) even considering taking someone else's points
c) being prepared to risk a criminal record, a huge fine and hours of Community service or even a custodial sentence when you haven't done anything

LIZS · 13/02/2019 21:31

There is also likely to be photographic evidence of who was driving.

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:31

Also, the way he responded to you being rightfully annoyed at him is very worrying. It is not OK for him to try to shame you and say you were "shouting like a banshee".

I really doubt being a bad driver is the full extent of his bad qualities.

Imissgmichael · 13/02/2019 21:34

No Lifecraft you are wrong. The Notice of Intention to Prosecute initially goes to the keeper. This had already happened but OPs husband had filled it in saying the OP admits the offence hence the offer of the course. Not only had he lied about who was driving he has also forged her signature.

Villanellesproudmum · 13/02/2019 21:34

@Countess eh?? I’ve advised OP not to do it!