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Original poster

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:37

You’re all right that I should’ve filled it in myself. I thought he would just pay the fine or whatever.

I think I’m going to tell him he needs to contact them and say we’ve made a mistake - that it could’ve been him or me driving and we’re not sure?

OP posts:
SecretNutellaFix · 13/02/2019 21:37

Exactly how many points does your husband have that he has had you take some for him and now has named you as the driver when you weren't?

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:37

Villanelle I'm glad, but that wasn't in the post of yours I responded to, and Duffbeers had pretty much said it was no big deal. "It happens a lot" to me sounds like "it doesn't really matter, you won't get caught". If that wasn't what you meant, we are in agreement.

Nicknacky · 13/02/2019 21:38

If you are going down the line that there has been a mistake then you will need to contact them as “you” filled it in.

PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2019 21:39

I think I’m going to tell him he needs to contact them and say we’ve made a mistake - that it could’ve been him or me driving and we’re not sure?

You’d trust him to do that?

Villanellesproudmum · 13/02/2019 21:39

I can confidently say you read it wrong.

Nacreous · 13/02/2019 21:39

You need to contact them, because you are the only one who should have filled out the form in the first place and I would imagine he had to sign the damned thing claiming to be you.

Yes, your husband screwed up. But to prevent there being a risk of you being prosecuted you will have to be the one who fixes all of it.

Lolkittens5 · 13/02/2019 21:40

Agree with above posters. You need to sort it out!

Bombardier25966 · 13/02/2019 21:41

that it could’ve been him or me driving and we’re not sure?

You're going to claim that you're not sure if you were in another part of the country at the relevant time?

OK...

toomanyofthemnow · 13/02/2019 21:42

OMG. He is committing fraud, which is far more serious than the original offence. And if you go along with it, then you will be committing fraud as well.

No way would I ever do anything like this for someone else.

His excuse to you is that he is usually driving when you are out together, so he is more likely to get caught for speeding than you are. Er... what??? Is he usually this hard-of-thinking?

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/02/2019 21:42

As I understand it you have the original letter to your dh to complete and he filled it out with your details which is why you now have the speed course.

Your most reasonable course of action is to contact them and tell them you were not driving.

Your were a muppet for not filling in the form stating that in the first place and, given you've taken the hit before, you're a muppet of you go through with this a second time.

As pp's have said, people have come off a lot worse than a speed awareness course. What impact would those consequences have for you?

I don't think it's too late to contact them and say you don't believe you were driving - I'd not advise lying but tell the truth that your husband filled the form in if asked.

man admits wasn't him driving

1st mp example prison sentence

2nd mp example prison sentence

So as you can see, it is possible, likely even, if you get caught.

SpanielEars070 · 13/02/2019 21:43

If you've already got points on your licence, they wouldn't be offering you a speed awareness course.

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/02/2019 21:44

YOU need to contact them as the registered driver to say you weren't driving. Or even if you can't remember who was driving. Let them investigate from there.

CountessVonBoobs · 13/02/2019 21:44

You're not going to get out of this with an "we're not sure who was driving". It was your responsibility to return the letter. And "you" did so without raising any concerns. It's going to be blatantly obvious if you suddenly have an attack of unsureness that you lied.

You're going to have to come clean. You're also going to have to do the legwork yourself. As far as the DVLA are concerned he has nothing to do with this. You are the registered keeper of the car, and "you" signed a letter acknowledging that you were speeding. You have to call them yourself.

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/02/2019 21:44

@SpanielEars070, they would if the points had expired.

lostelephant · 13/02/2019 21:45

Wow he's really dropped you in the shit here OP. You can either be honest and say DH filled it in, in which case there will be repercussions for him (and rightly so IMO). Or you can say you filled it in as you by mistake, in which case there may be repercussions for you if they believe it wasn't a "mistake".

Galvantula · 13/02/2019 21:45

Yes yabu to take it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 13/02/2019 21:46

I wouldn't take the risk OP there are so many cameras everywhere it is feasible they could see its him driving and do you for lying as well. His attitude stinks. Agree you will drive at weekends and holidays if he gets banned, but he's an adult, he's breaking the law and trying to get you to cover for him as he is more important!? Doubt the police would agree

AnyOldPrion · 13/02/2019 21:46

I’d phone them myself and say that having thought about it, you realised it must have been your husband driving.

I absolutely would not leave it up to him. He is obviously completely untrustworthy, dishonest, and doesn’t give a shit that you might go to prison for something he’s done.

VanGoghsDog · 13/02/2019 21:47

He said that he is always the one to drive when we go anywhere at weekends/on holiday so proportionally he is the one who will get the speeding tickets

Or....he could drive within the speed limit and literally NEVER get one. Tried and tested secret system that NO-ONE knows about!

Topseyt · 13/02/2019 21:48

If you let him get away with this you are an idiot. You could even both end up on a charge of perjury.

There's not a chance in hell that I would agree to risk my driving licence and a criminal record by taking someone else's points for them.

My DH has had three points on his licence. He just took them himself. It would never have even occurred to him to ask me to take them and I would certainly have handed him his arse on a plate if he had.

rosesn · 13/02/2019 21:49

I've taken my dh's speeding points and I know of others who have done the same thing and nothing happened. I know it's illegal but he was going to be banned and it would of been really hard on the family if he was banned.

I also know a lot of people who have been banned for 6 months and even 8 year and driven everyday of their ban and didn't get caught!

Mayrhofen · 13/02/2019 21:49

What a CF! As well as being illegal how valued does his make you feel? What an entitled, self important nob.

ZenNudist · 13/02/2019 21:49

Contact them say a mistake has been made. He will likely be out of time to sign up for the course but hopefully not.

DoNotWorry · 13/02/2019 21:50

Take a look at this link:
www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/mar/11/chris-huhne-vicky-pryce

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