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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU: Teenage friend put on the sex offenders list for 'pantsing' someone at school

369 replies

Neonata · 11/02/2019 22:55

Last week one of my 15YO DS's closest friends pulled a classmate's gym shorts down in the changing rooms as a prank and unfortunately his pants also came down and he was momentarily exposed. The boy then escalated this and the friend has now been isolated for a day, then excluded for a day and also put on the sex offenders list!!

AIBU to think this is a massive over reaction by the school?? He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

I'm wondering that this will demonise him so much that he will start thinking he is actually a bad person and it will be enough to send him down the wrong path.

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 11/02/2019 23:00

I may be wrong but to be on the register don't you have to have been cautioned or convicted of an offence? So for a caution or conviction to have been made then there has to been more to it than just a simple prank.

Hopefully the teen in question will use it as an opportunity to reflect on the kind of person they want to be.

funnylittlefloozie · 11/02/2019 23:00

What do you mean "put on the sex offendrs list"? Were the police called? Has this gone to court? For how long will this young man have to sign the SOR?

Are you ENTIRELY sure of the facts, or are they coming from your DS?

FrancisCrawford · 11/02/2019 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mookatron · 11/02/2019 23:02

This all sounds very fishy frankly but if it was an innocent prank on a friend they wouldn't have escalated it would they. Sounds more like the worst kind of bullying.

FrenchSchnoodle · 11/02/2019 23:02

I'm slightly confused

C0untDucku1a · 11/02/2019 23:03

that was fast. A werk to go from exposing someone’s private parts to the sex offenders register? It is so fast it almost sounds like bull crap.

SassitudeandSparkle · 11/02/2019 23:03

Hmm So you are saying that your son's school can bypass the legal system entirely and add people to the SOR themselves? Really? It's almost like it's half-term already - oh wait, it is for some ... Hmm

PCohle · 11/02/2019 23:03

Do you mean the sex offenders register? Or is the school keeping some bizarre internal list of sexual offences? To be honest either sounds very unlikely. Are you sure your DS's understanding of what has happened in accurate?

garethsouthgatesmrs · 11/02/2019 23:03

AIBU to think this is a massive over reaction by the school??

a school hasnt got the power to put someone on the sex offenders list! You have to be convicted of a crime and that won't have happened since last week anyway. You/your DS have been misinformed.

Rapidmama · 11/02/2019 23:03

#yeahthatdidnthappen

lastqueenofscotland · 11/02/2019 23:03

To be on the sec offenders register you need to go to court and be convinced... which with our clunky justice system won’t have happened jn a week

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 11/02/2019 23:03

Eh????

Schools can't put someone on the sex offenders list. Sounds like someone's having you on

NC4Now · 11/02/2019 23:03

Has he been convicted of anything? Or is it just a list in school?
Sounds like Chinese whispers to me.

recrudescence · 11/02/2019 23:04

Yes, I think you need to verify the details - being placed on the SOR seems very unlikely.

Leeds2 · 11/02/2019 23:04

What do you mean by his being put on the Sex Offenders' List? That just doesn't sound right, from what you have said.

Bigonesmallone3 · 11/02/2019 23:05

Is this the schools own list?

garethsouthgatesmrs · 11/02/2019 23:05

He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

none of these things make it ok to do what he did. he sounds like a nasty bully to me.

FlibbertyGiblets · 11/02/2019 23:05

.

QuintadiMalago · 11/02/2019 23:05

0/10

QuintadiMalago · 11/02/2019 23:05

PortiaCastis · 11/02/2019 23:05

A school does not have those powers

wigglypiggly · 11/02/2019 23:06
Confused
C0untDucku1a · 11/02/2019 23:06

Great first post btw.

Boulardii · 11/02/2019 23:06

He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

This is neither here nor there really.
Are you saying if the kid was in the bottom set it would be ok to stick him on the SOR, but because this kid is nice and might have a bright future ahead of him, a different standard of behaviour is allowed as his ‘character’ means he would be given another chance?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 11/02/2019 23:06

Find out more before you spout this as ‘fact’.