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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send meals home with DSC

259 replies

user1471499145 · 11/02/2019 21:55

DPs DCs stay EOW. He sees them twice every week as well.
Their DM lives with her partner. She has high earning job but doesn’t return home until 7pm ish. The DCs are 15 & 18.
DP has asked if I can send them home with a meal that can be frozen/re heated on the weekends they are with us because they are fed up with their meals.
I have done so far but this weekend I spent 6 hours cooking. I’m knackered.
& I’m feeding his ex - she sent a thank you for her dinner tonight !
I want someone to cook me dinner!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 12/02/2019 17:24

I think I commented on the restaurant thread. Yes, you need to take some control! I know it’s not your responsibility to teach the boys to cook. But if you stay it’s an option... and maybe a way to get treated well for once. But please think seriously about not staying.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 12/02/2019 17:29

These kids will never treat her well, ever, because they see how their father treats her and what she puts up with.

AlexaAmbidextra · 12/02/2019 17:42

These kids will never treat her well, ever, because they see how their father treats her and what she puts up with.

This.

Klopptimist · 12/02/2019 18:20

Get a copy of "The Help" and make them one of Minnie's chocolate cream pies.

DishingOutDone · 12/02/2019 19:23

Maybe we would be better off advising you on how to leave, financial options etc., OP - sorry if its further up thread but are you actually married to this wanker and if so, for how long? Does he own the house you live in, do you work? Where are your own adult children now?

AuditAngel · 12/02/2019 19:53

DS is 14, DH works evenings. A couple of times a week DS cooks either fo4 the two of us, or for his sisters. Sometimes it’s convenience food, other times he cooks fantastically from scratch (although everything takes him a lot longer than it should as he gets distracted by his iPad).

He also helps out in the family restaurant and the kitchen of th3 family bar when busy.

Your DP and his ExW

lottiegarbanzo · 12/02/2019 19:58

OP, do you know the boys' mum at all? Might her compliment on the food have been intended to signal 'WTF are you doing and why?' to prompt you to question yourself?

fishonabicycle · 12/02/2019 20:19

You poor thing! Far too lovely and tolerant! Stop accommodating these arseholes! They don't deserve you. What the hell is an exceptional palate by the way? My 18 year old eats everything and loves it all! I'm sure he'd trough down wagyu beef given half a chance ... I think all teenage boys are like that!

ilikefastcars · 12/02/2019 20:23

What on Earth are you still doing there? They are treating you like a doormat!
Nothing has changed at all since Croatia at all has it?

blackteasplease · 12/02/2019 20:55

I'd leave someone who even talked about an "exceptional palette". tbh Any reference to a palette unless your are talking about painting is beyond irritating.

I have posted more seriously earlier on this thread and would really encourage you to leave this horrible trio.

anniehm · 12/02/2019 21:09

Teach them to cook!

TowelNumber42 · 12/02/2019 21:18

Can you afford to move out?

Kaleela · 12/02/2019 21:36

I remember the Lasagna thread. I must have missed the Wagyu Beef one. You aren't a partner, you are a free maid. You are being taken for a bloody ride!!!!!! I thought you had left after the lasagna incident!!!! I'm by no means a capable and wealthy married woman but I'd have laughed all the way home, while packing my bags and on the way out to a new life! Wow.

UndertheCedartree · 12/02/2019 21:42

While I think it could be a nice gesture now and again - surely the teenagers can make dinner? My 11 year old can so I'm sure they can!

LittlePaintBox · 13/02/2019 00:57

Order some freezer meals from COOK, and send them home with those.

Boysandbuses · 13/02/2019 04:43

Order some freezer meals from COOK, and send them home with those.

Why?

Boysandbuses · 13/02/2019 04:46

OP, I got married at a similar age and was with exh, for 20 years. His abuse ruined me. So I get it.

But I fled the property in the end and slept on a couch for 9 months. I built myself up and have my own house, my 2 young kids are doing great.

You can do it. I genuinely don't understand how you end up keep going back to this man.

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/02/2019 10:39

Order some freezer meals from COOK, and send them home with those.

Why?

Yes, why? Don’t you think OP is being enough of a doormat without funding her partner’s family’s eating arrangements? 🙄

lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2019 10:50

Why can't their Mum - the parent they live with, who is responsible for feeding them at home - order from Cook (or wherever else she and they like?).

This whole thing is a power play between the 'D'P and his ex-wife. 'Look at my largesse and superiority. My housekeeper DP provides oh so superior food to the rubbish you're capable of putting together. Oh and look whose food the boys really want, huh? Mine!'

lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2019 10:51

I suspect the ex-DW's compliments are a way of saying 'water off a duck's back, mate' to him and 'sucker!' to OP.

lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2019 11:03

Also OP, you do realise he is using you as a way to insult his ex? That, by sending the meals, you are complicit in insulting her? How do you feel about that? Did you really mean to be to rude?

RainbowWaffles · 13/02/2019 11:27

I have no idea why OP is suggested to order some food for them to take home and cook themselves and/or teach them to cook. It isn’t her responsibility and at their ages they are more than capable of reading some recipes or looking up some YouTube videos. I would, however, be minded to get them to help cook dinner when they are there under the guise of teaching them.

Any kid who can kick off like that over 30g of steak is more than capable of making his meal requirements clear to his own mother.

blackteasplease · 13/02/2019 13:12

I agree about the ex.

Is OP still here?

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 13/02/2019 13:21

Is OP still here?

No, she's in the kitchen cooking for them all but will be back with yet another thread about their abuse.

Thequaffle · 13/02/2019 13:25

Why can’t your DP do the cooking to send HIS DC home with food?
Or their mum can food prep on the weekends.