AIBU to think clothes can be distracting?

[angelicaorchnid]

My dd is taking some extra GCSEs she can't take at school at another school in May,

She received a letter with information about where to go on the days etc. In it they say to make sure they wear not 'outrageous' clothing. Because their boys are normal and get distracted easily (it's a boys school).

Dd thinks this isn't right, and 'girls bodies shouldn't be seen as objects of distraction for boys', I don't agree, I think it's reasonable for them to stipulate what to wear. Dd says she agrees but they could've done it without saying they were distracting, and boys should be able to control themselves.

AIBU? i'm not sure if i'm just old school and not with what's appropriate now!

'Please be comfortable without being 'outrageous':; ladies please wear something modest as our boys are only normal, and distract easily.'

if that is true then I would wait til she's done her exams and go in all guns blazing

Kick up, big time. Complain and if you're ignored, name and shame. It's outrageous sexist bullshit, the sort of thing you'd expect from American wingnut religious schools.

While it's not entirely unreasonable to send new students a letter asking them to dress 'appropriately' or 'professionally', WTF do they think they are doing telling teenagers that boys are incapable of self-control, and that it's girls' fault if they are assaulted?

Would I be better to speak to the exams officer who sent us the document, or go straight to the head? If i were them i would want to know what's being said on behalf of my school!!

If this is true it would be easy enough for you take a picture of the letter right now, with the logo etc covered.

Dd was emailed it so Ill post a screenshot with the identifying info covered

hope this works!

Blimey!

I'm with your daughter. Utterly unbelievable wording! I cannot imagine what possessed them to write that. It rather makes out their pupils are all potential rapists, which I'm sure they are not. It definitely shows they aren't "preparing pupils for modern British life"(an OFSTED requirement). Really shocked by this actually.

Wow 🙈

I can’t see a photo?

Boys = emotionally incontinent potential offenders.
Ladies = pretty distractions who need to watch what they wear lest they cause themselves to get assaulted.

I so hope this is bollocks.

I work with a lot of kids with SEN, they get distracted by hair,fluff,falling leaves and elbows(and many many other things). Somehow we manage without shoving them in a sterile,windowless room and demanding everyone has a crew cut.

It's sexist,mysoginistic,victim blaming bullshit,and tbh I'd worry about the safety of my daughter and the culture in school in general towards girls.

There's no suggestion that the school thinks the boys are going to assault the girls.

The boys go to a boys school where most of the people around them will be boys in school uniform. If they allow others in to take exams in the same hall as their students then they want to do it without distracting the boys. There are other ways that external candidates could distract their pupils - controversial slogans on clothing is the only one that comes to mind, but there must be more.

It is badly phrased, but it does make sense to minimise the disruption to their own pupils.

The photo shows on my phone but not on the website :// is there any other way to link it? I'm not great at this stuff

Where's the photo?

Have they told the boys not to wear outrageous clothing, because the girls are normal, and might be distracted?

I can see the photo on the app

Yeah, there's imgur.com, @angelicaorchnid, you can upload any photo there quite easily.

Trying again?

Your daughter is far beyond her years....she is totally right! The person that wrote that is a complete twat.

cant see the photo either.

Justajot sorry, but no.
Saying "please don't wear slogans or bright colours so everyone can concentrate on the exam" would have been okay, but this betrays some very alarming attitudes that absolutely need challenging. The way it is so casually thrown in unfortunately implies they are totally unaware what a sexist thing that is to say and that it is an attitude they expect you to share.

The boys go to a boys school where most of the people around them will be boys in school uniform. If they allow others in to take exams in the same hall as their students then they want to do it without distracting the boys. There are other ways that external candidates could distract their pupils - controversial slogans on clothing is the only one that comes to mind, but there must be more.

The letter only addresses what the 'ladies' should wear. So it's clear it's not controversial slogans they're worried about isn't it?

i am speechless at what i have just read if u care to pm the schools name i can assure you i will pass this on to the right hands and will not mention any names or anything you dont even need to give me a name just the schools name.

I'm on my phone but can't see any photo.
Your DD is 100% correct by the way. She's got her head well screwed on.