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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's normal to have somewhere comfortable to watch TV/a film

208 replies

Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 18:14

Been seeing a man for several months. He's a widower with teenage children. We meet once a week usually. We eat out, go for drives etc but sometimes (before/after the above or just on its own) sit in his home.

He has nowhere to sit comfortably and watch a working TV/a film.

(The main TV is in his kitchen-dining room, where you'd have to sit on a dining chair at the dining table, obviously. His sitting room has a TV used only for games by his sons.)

He seems to have zero problem with this and is happy to sit with nothing to watch, chatting. I happy to chat to some extent, bug beyond that think it's normal to be able to watch some TV or a film together on e.g. a sofa.

Would this bother you?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 11/02/2019 21:00

@Iownmanyleatherboundbooks
Then I seriously don't know what his youngest son (who is genuinely lovely btw) had done because there are about 10 steps to watching a dvd on one of the three (I think) games consoles that are set up on that TV.

There’s not! Turn the console on, put the DVD in, press play and it will work!

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:00

*hobbies

OP posts:
SoyDora · 11/02/2019 21:02

I have a huge range of friends and acquaintances with many varied hobbied and interests and I know noone else who doesn't enjoy sometimes watching tv, (whether it's on a TV or other device)

But you also said he does watch TV, just in the kitchen rather than the living room. So the only incompatibility is that you like to sit in different places while watching TV!

Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:05

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Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:06

But you also said he does watch TV, just in the kitchen rather than the living room. So the only incompatibility is that you like to sit in different places while watching TV!

I should have added - in a comfortable place, not on a dining chair at a table - bug I thought it was obvious from my posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:08

Besides he watches the news and a very occasional documentary - the rest of the time he watches whatever his children are watching (soaps or music tv) by default. He died not watch any dramas etc - I've never met anyone like that before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:08

*does not

OP posts:
Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:10

The bottom line is that there is not one place in his home to sit on a comfortable chair and watch some TV/a film occasionally and I find it irritating and odd.

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 11/02/2019 21:11

@Iownmanyleatherboundbooks well then I’m very sorry that all of the consoles in your partner’s household are all unable to do the very thing that they were built for. If I have things that don’t work, I take them back. Like I said earlier, maybe they are making out like it’s overly complicated on purpose because it’s really not. You put the disc in and press play. If games work, films work. Maybe your dvd discs are very scratched?

2019Dancerz · 11/02/2019 21:13

OP mission was just trying to help, not sure why you’re having a go. There will always be a multiple remote element to these things - we need one to turn telly one, the console remote for controlling the dvd, and the telly remote again for volume. That doesn’t feel like a hassle unless you’re very unused to modern tech!

Pikehau · 11/02/2019 21:15

I don't think YABU i would like a comfy place too. reminds me of being a student watching it on a dining chair. I think i would be irritated too!

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:15

If you are only meeting up once a week pretty sure you can go without TV for one day/night. Is it more about not being able to relax and sit in comfort in the living room because his sons are in there playing video games and it feels like their space so you are relegated to the kitchen? Although this has got me thinking of watching my tv sat at the dining table... I'd probably be more alert and stand a better chance of getting to the good bits before falling asleep. grin

No, they're at their granny's (we just hang about town until they're all dropped off from various sport & social things, and a part-time job in theveldest's case). We've got the place to themselves. (Occasionally a son will sneak back cause he's been out too late to go to granny's but they tend to slink in and head to bed).

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 11/02/2019 21:16

Have you actually tried explaining to him that you find it very uncomfortable to sit on a dining chair to watch TV?

I would find it genuinely painful to sit on dining chairs for longer than it takes to eat a meal or have a cuppa with someone and I think most people tend to find a sofa or armchair better for relaxing it is after all, why they exist..

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:17

2019dancer - mission seemed to be quite vehemently telling me that what I described was wrong and couldn't happen, in spite of not seeing it or being there .. which would exasperate most people.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 11/02/2019 21:18

I should have added - in a comfortable place, not on a dining chair at a table - bug I thought it was obvious from my posts

Hmm that doesn’t change my point though. As I said, the only incompatibility is that you prefer to watch the TV in different places. You want somewhere comfortable, he obviously finds the kitchen table comfortable enough.

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:19

But anyway, that's a distraction from the main issue. Seems like it is an incompatibility. I don't know what the case would be if I were to move in, which we have discussed.

OP posts:
RomanyQueen1 · 11/02/2019 21:21

I see where you are coming from. I rarely watch tv but if me and dh were to watch a film together we'd sit on the sofa, because that's where you can watch a dvd.
Other areas of the house you'd watch something else on another device if you wanted to.

JasperKarat · 11/02/2019 21:22

You can watch a dvd on any Xbox or PS going back about twenty years by putting it in and selecting play or play disc. You do not need to change cables.

ReanimatedSGB · 11/02/2019 21:23

Thing is, it's his house, arranged in a way that he finds comfortable. You're a relatively new girlfriend; whining that you want him to change his domestic set up just to accommodate you (when his current arrangements clearly suit him and his DC, whose home it also is) is unreasonable.

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:23

Have you actually tried explaining to him that you find it very uncomfortable to sit on a dining chair to watch TV?

I've expressed that I would like to watch some TV or a dvd occasionally on a sofa.

It seemed bizarre to me to have to as I don't know anyone else who habitually watches whatever TV they watch at a dining table.

OP posts:
lostinjapan · 11/02/2019 21:25

The bottom line is that there is not one place in his home to sit on a comfortable chair and watch some TV/a film occasionally and I find it irritating and odd.

Surely you can just sit on the sofa and watch catch-up on your phone, tablet or laptop? Or his PC if he has one. Or if the kitchen TV is a smart TV you can move that in front of the sofa. Struggling to see what the big deal is TBH.

gamerchick · 11/02/2019 21:27

The console dvd thing is really weird. I have both Xbox and playstation and there is no fucking about to watch a disc.

Put on console, put on telly channel hooked up to that console, out disc in and press play on disc/play disc icon.

It's th most bizarre thing I've read in ages that is Grin

Look he obviously isn't into the relaxing in front of the TV thing OP. There's no way of spend my evenings sitting on a chair in the kitchen that's for sure though.

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:27

I think most people tend to find a sofa or armchair better for relaxing it is after all, why they exist.

My main point.

Added to that is that he doesn't watch/follow anything besides news and a very occasional documentary
I find it odd not to watch and discuss a series sometimes.

OP posts:
anniehm · 11/02/2019 21:28

We stream through the PS4, it's easier than a normal tv, you just download iPlayer and Netflix

Original poster
Iownmanyleatherboundbooks · 11/02/2019 21:32

It's th most bizarre thing I've read in ages that is grin

The cable issue (pulling TV out from corner and burrowing around in a nest of cables, taking out a cable from a scart port and putting one in may only have been when we were using the basic dvd player, having given up in the instructions to play a dvd on one of the consoles - I don't remember cause it's a while back. Everything was always being done in a mad rush cause the youngest son was departing for grabbing while grabbing games discs and trying to explain instructions.

OP posts: