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AIBU?

To not wake DH's friend up?

236 replies

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 07:49

Some people may remember my previous thread, DH's friend staying with us for two weeks as he's homeless, he'll be leaving on Tuesday.

He manages to sleep through his alarms, three have gone off this morning and he's still not up.
DH left early for a day out with mates this morning and has been waking him up everyday since he's stayed here, which i have outright refused to do.

So DH's friend has some overtime with another friend today, and he'll be taking the other friend there. The other friend can't get there without DH's friend who is staying with us as he can't drive. So if DH's friend doesn't get up, the other friend won't be able to work today.

DH asked if i would wake his friend up but i refused, which he was completely fine with and agrees it's not my responsibility.

But now the other friend has messaged me asking if i can please get him up because they need to leave!!

AIBU to say no or just ignore the message?

He's an adult and needs to learn the consequences of not getting up for work surely? But other friend won't be able to work today if I don't, and he's also expecting a baby so I feel bad if I don't because it's not his fault this lazy fucker can't get out of bed.

And he'll be leaving on Tuesday regardless of whether he has any money if anyone's wondering

OP posts:

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diddl · 09/02/2019 08:18

Well you tried Op & he's still not up.

I should think he hears his alarms but just cba to get up.

Feel sorry for the other guy, but he ust know that it's a bit daft to rely on the guy who's staying with you.

Femaleassassin · 09/02/2019 08:18

I wouldn't wake him. Cheeky fucker

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:19

@cheesydoesit just low level annoyances. He offered us money but I refused and said I'd rather he saved it.
He said he'd help with decorating as we're currently trying to do up the house before the baby's here, but he helped once for an hour. He's very rarely back before 10pm, so at least he's been out the way most of the time!

OP posts:

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 09/02/2019 08:20

What a complete and utter wasteman. Stop knocking, it's not your problem. Tell both dh and the friend you tried your best and advise your dh to reconsider his friendships

VanillaSauce · 09/02/2019 08:21

Leave him to it. You've tried several times which is more than I would

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:22

And he'll definitely be leaving, no question about that.
Dh did ask if he could stay a few more days till the Friday as it's another payday, but I've said no which DH is fine with.
Two weeks is long enough IMO, think he needs to learn the hard way how to grow up and save (He's not even saved half his wages in the past two paydays)

OP posts:

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:22

So DP has been enabling him to wake up for work every morning and now it's fallen to you. He sounds like he's got a new set of parents. I wouldn't knock anymore. You've tried and he is taking the piss. He doesn't care so why should you? Waking him up in the morning isn't helping him, it's just giving him another way to get out of being an adult that has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:23

He's up

OP posts:

Iloveacurry · 09/02/2019 08:23

How on earth would this man function if he lived by himself?!

Yes, not your problem, but I’d just wake him up in this occasion. At least he’s leaving on Tuesday.

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:23

Sorry, took me ages to type. I'm glad he's going on Tuesday. You've both done your bit. Good luck with the baby!

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:24

Three more nights and he's gone

OP posts:

diddl · 09/02/2019 08:24

Does this other guy always rely on your husband's friend to get to work?

Shame he couldn't at least have got to you to wake the guy up himself.

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:25

@diddl he used to work with him, until he got fired for not getting up! So he knows what he's like

OP posts:

ree348 · 09/02/2019 08:25

What a man child. Well done for waking him up!

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:25

He doesn't function! By the sounds of it his mum has been, well mothering him until he pushed her to the brink and now he's been relying on the (undeserved) kindness of friends.

Onceuponacheesecake · 09/02/2019 08:26

What a man child. I agree it seems pretty to have made no attempt at all but i'd have left him after the first shout. You aren't his mum!

Gruzinkerbell1 · 09/02/2019 08:26

OMG this is ridiculous! It's not your responsibility to get a grown man out of bed for work. Especially one you're not in any way related to or in a relationship with! I'd be furious to be put in the same position.

Text back the nice friend and explain that you've tried several times but he's not moving.

This isn't your job to fix OP.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 09/02/2019 08:28

Just saw he's up. Glad he'll be out of your hair for the day!

peridito · 09/02/2019 08:30

cold water in the ear

vacuum cleaner on and against door

TheFifthKey · 09/02/2019 08:32

I really wouldn’t want to go and physically shake a sleeping man who wasn’t my DP/DC to be honest. It’s quite an intimate thing to do and you don’t even know what state of dress/undress they’d be in.

WilsonandNoodles · 09/02/2019 08:33

I feel like I'm being a bit harsh here compared to everyone else but if it isn't a one off I would leave him sleeping and offer to drive his friend to work so he doesn't miss out. I know its putting yourself out but you are already doing a lot having him stay and at some point he needs to recognise that hes in a prettg desperate situation and should be doing everything he possibly can to help himself.

Teaandcrisps · 09/02/2019 08:35

What an absolutely all round odd start to rhe day for you OP! I take it you actually had to shake him awake? Thats so weird!

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Accountant222 · 09/02/2019 08:37

Just wake him and stop being silly, don't deprive two men of their wages. It's not your responsibility to get a grown man up but be kind, he's leaving Tuesday.

One of my brothers virtually went into a coma when asleep, which was a big problem when he been drinking, yuk

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:38

@WilsonandNoodles the job is a two hour drive away, not a chance I'm gunna put myself out by 4 hours. Plus i can't drive anyway cause of severe SPD so wouldn't be an option even if it was closer

OP posts:

Crockof · 09/02/2019 08:39

If he is setting loads of alarms it shows he is trying, I think there is something wrong with him. Men are dreadful for going to the doc but that is not normal behaviour. Sleep disorder, depression or something else.

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