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AIBU?

To not wake DH's friend up?

236 replies

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 07:49

Some people may remember my previous thread, DH's friend staying with us for two weeks as he's homeless, he'll be leaving on Tuesday.

He manages to sleep through his alarms, three have gone off this morning and he's still not up.
DH left early for a day out with mates this morning and has been waking him up everyday since he's stayed here, which i have outright refused to do.

So DH's friend has some overtime with another friend today, and he'll be taking the other friend there. The other friend can't get there without DH's friend who is staying with us as he can't drive. So if DH's friend doesn't get up, the other friend won't be able to work today.

DH asked if i would wake his friend up but i refused, which he was completely fine with and agrees it's not my responsibility.

But now the other friend has messaged me asking if i can please get him up because they need to leave!!

AIBU to say no or just ignore the message?

He's an adult and needs to learn the consequences of not getting up for work surely? But other friend won't be able to work today if I don't, and he's also expecting a baby so I feel bad if I don't because it's not his fault this lazy fucker can't get out of bed.

And he'll be leaving on Tuesday regardless of whether he has any money if anyone's wondering

OP posts:

Report

MairzyDoats · 09/02/2019 07:59

Sorry, I've just seen you're going to wake him.

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:02

I'm just grouchy, i had a bad nights sleep
I shouted and he muttered something saying he's awake

OP posts:

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 09/02/2019 08:03

How did waking him up go?

Agree that while waking him up in enabling him, he is only your problem until Tuesday and it’s impacting the lift needing friend more so even though it’s ridiculous he can’t get up himself - he should get woken up so other friend gets to work on time

Coolaschmoola · 09/02/2019 08:04

Agree - you're being petty. Just wake him up.

WeeDangerousSpike · 09/02/2019 08:04

I get why you don't want to, I wouldn't either. I think it's the right thing to do though, for the other friend's sake.

Who woke him up before he was staying with you though?!

Weezol · 09/02/2019 08:06

Just remember, you're not doing it for his benefit, but for DH and his mate. Glad he's leaving on Tuesday - will he be leaving at 7am?

At least DH has now had an object lesson in why 'Steve' has been thrown out of, well, everywhere else.

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:06

Well he's not got up, I'll go in again in a minute and see if he's going to work!

@WeeDangerousSpike his mum!

OP posts:

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:07

@WeeDangerousSpike or no one and he doesn't turn up to work for several days and gets fired (happened previous two times)

OP posts:

Auntiepatricia · 09/02/2019 08:08

He’s a twat, but if I were you I’d want him up and out of the house so I’d have woken him extra early!

Anotheronebitesthefluff · 09/02/2019 08:09

Throw ice cold water on him so he'll have to get up, if you do it every day he might learn to wake up by the alarm...

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:09

@Auntiepatricia my hormonal pregnant self should have thought of that

OP posts:

humblesims · 09/02/2019 08:09

if his eyes are still shut chuck a glass of water over him. just do it. he's asking for it really.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 09/02/2019 08:09

You've allowed someone to stay in your home when they were in need. You're not petty, you simply don't want to be his mum on top of everything else. Well done op, you're a better woman then me

BatsAreCool · 09/02/2019 08:09

Yes that would totally annoy me. In the absence of a medical condition he is just an arse who likes to opt out of adult behaviour and lets everyone else baby him.

If it had only affected him I wouldn't have woken him but that's not fair on the other person so in this instance I would have done it but made it very clear what I thought of his behaviour.

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:10

mairzey OP is not a bitch, nor petty. If any of you have read the other thread you will know it's the "'friend" who is a fucking ridiculous child that the OP has agreed to help.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 09/02/2019 08:10

Christ I’d just throw some cold water on him now and be done with it

The guy sounds like a grade A plonker

I know it was addressed on the old thread but honestly if this was my DPs BEST friend it would really give me serious pause for thought

Weezol · 09/02/2019 08:12

Bonus points if you manage not to say 'told you so' to DH today.

A top quality 'told you so' of this magnitude needs to be saved for a special occasion.

GrandmaSharksDentures · 09/02/2019 08:12

I'm going against the grain here but I wouldn't wake him. If he wants the overtime he can get himself up for it - different if he was usually good at getting up & this was a "one off".

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:14

@GrandmaSharksDentures yeah i wouldn't have hesitated if it was a one off! But it's been every bloody day

OP posts:

Greyhound22 · 09/02/2019 08:15

I don't think you're being petty OP. I wouldn't want to go and wake up a man that was wasn't my DP or DS etc if I'm honest I would feel uncomfortable.

I would in this one instance but I would be a proper cow about it - loud bangs and when he does wake up would be saying something along the lines of 'you need to sort this out you have a problem' but I have little sympathy for people who 'can't' get up in a morning.

Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:15

Well I've knocked again and asked if he's going to work, he's said he is but there's absolutely no movement and he was meant to pick the other friend up at 8 who lives 20 mins away!

OP posts:

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:16

How confident are you that he will leave? Has it been as bad a predicted or just low level annoyances? He should be eternally grateful and making a real effort not to put you out because about 95% of people who replied on your other thread wouldn't have taken him in.

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Greywalls12 · 09/02/2019 08:16

How many times am i meant to keep knocking???

OP posts:

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 09/02/2019 08:17

Forget knocking cold water

cheesydoesit · 09/02/2019 08:18

He sounds like a twat. No wonder his mum was driven to throwing him out.

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