To not know his wage?!

[notaniota]

A few threads on here have got me thinking, I have no idea what DH earns pm! I know his salary (give or take) but couldn’t tell you how much he gets paid and I don’t look at his pay slips ever!! Is this that odd?? Anyone else?? 😂

I don’t know to the penny. I know his hourly rate and know he works 60 hours a week so I could sit and work it out if I really felt the urge but I’ve seen previous years P60s and know it’ll maybe be a little bit more every year.
M

think if you live well within your income and both earn similar amounts it’s pretty normal

Totally disagree

Money is the one thing, after children, which ultimately, at the end - separation, divorce or death - causes the most issues and arguments

To be in a relationship with someone with linked finances , and NOT KNOW what the household income/outgoings are - is ludicrous, imo

Been with my partners 7 years and I couldn't even guess what he earns. We just don't share finances and never have.

I should add - live together with children!

I have RTFT I didn’t mean you specifically @notaniota more just a general pondering as it’s not uncommon on here to see women who don’t have a clue about household finances and let “D”P sort everything

I also think these threads get a bit stealth boast (again, not aimed at you OP) “oh we have so much money we don’t need to keep tabs on it all!”

To be in a relationship with someone with linked finances , and NOT KNOW what the household income/outgoings are - is ludicrous, imo
Agreed

Everyone must have a rough idea surely? There are jobs you know are going to be minimum wage jobs and jobs you know are going to be highly paid so everyone must know a ballpark figure I imagine.

@Gina2012

Incomings his wage = ballpark, my wage= I know exactly.
His set account outgoings= mortgage, life ins x2, his phone bill, savings DD.
Other bills that I pay= My phone bill DD, childcare ( I pay when I get the invoice), electricity (I pay when the quarterly bill comes in) that is it I think that is regular.

Car tax and insurance gets paid same month every year. June for my car, October for his.

I can’t think of anything else that’s a regular bill or set Payment.

Well, for one if you want to retire at 60 you'll have to make plans, as you're not going to get your pension. You'll be lucky to get it at 67 (which is the current pension age for people roughly under 60) - even that is a questionable target age. Yes, that goes for national and occupational.

I'm not getting at you OP

I'm just saying that for me, should I be in a joint finances relationship with someone, I would want to know the ins and outs of the ducks finance arse

Maybe that's wrong for some people and that's fine.

For me I would need that knowledge to feel future secure

@MilkGoatee yes I never said 60 I said 60 ish meaning 60’s last time I looked it was 67 yes.

I know his pay better than he does, I'm the one who picks up discrepancies. I'm a bit of a pay nerd and the way he gets paid can be quite complicated so I like to keep a close eye as they have made big mistakes in the past.

Me neither. I roughly know his annual salary, but he gets bonus and car allowance and bits and bobs and I never see his payslip.
We have separate accounts and a joint account because I am self employed and like to keep it separate.
We communicate and sort financial stuff together- it works for us.

Of course I know what DH earns and always have done since before we got married.

I don't understand couples who share a house, a bed and a life together and yet don't know what each other earns. I find it very odd.

Absolutely ALL money that either of us has earned, been given, won etc over 39 years of marriage has gone into 1 joint account. There has never been any "x is my money" nonsense.

Even when DH got a very large inheritance it all went into the joint account

Feeling better I’m not the only one 😂

Don't you have a joint account? I feel it's a bit strange when married couples Have separate finances. Surely it's easier to have all money coming in and out of 1 place. If your married that money is technically yours too. Just seems odd to me

60-ish means some time in the 36 month stretch between 59 and 61 - not 67. If I could retire at 60 (which I wouldn't anyway) I would have 4.5 years to go, as it stands it's 11.5, quite a difference when you're getting older, I can assure you.

Ok @MilkGoatee 60’s meaning 60-69

I guess this is how some men are able to pay for hotel rooms and restaurants (or even entire other families!) without their spouse knowing.

@Gemmamb no just joint savings, surely having EVERYTHING joint is just putting all eggs in the one basket! If anything were to go wrong, fraud, death, separation etc then it makes it MORE awkward??

@2019Dancerz I suppose but with the nature of my husbands job I know for a fact that this is not possible, he would never see them! 😆

We haven’t a joint account yet. Not married but living together. We have one account for household bills and the other for everything else so food, fuel and other spends. We find this works easiest for us.

I know what DP earns, he gets the payslips via email and I always go through and check the bills against his wage and transfer any left over in to the spends account. Works for us.

Not implying this is happening to you! I think there would be other signs too..

I don't think it's unusual, depending on your circumstances. I don't know what DH earns. I could only give you a vague estimate.

When we were starting out we both had a tight grasp on our finances as we were saving for a wedding, house etc on low incomes.

Time has gone on and DHs pay has sky-rocketed, mine is still low-ish as I am part-time. We no longer need to budget, don't need to have specific savings amounts, no bills come out of my account, we have a joint credit card that pays for shopping, petrol etc. We're both quite frugal and largely on the same wavelength regarding spending.

The forecast looks quite bleak in relation to DHs job post-Brexit so his income this year is likely to be dramatically less. Hundreds of thousands of pounds less than previous years. We've been discussing getting a joint account and moving some money around in preparation for this as we'll need to be much more careful with money.

It's not so much knowing down to the last penny what is coming in and going out, for us it's about being on the same page regarding acceptable spending, being able to plan together, and communicate openly about money, and of course being able to completely trust the other person.

I come from a very poor background and the last 5 or so years of not worrying about money has been amazing. I never take it for granted.

The self employed do not have fixed earnings.

£2/3k extrapolates to about £120pcm depending on pension contributions, tax, etc. Hardly enough to get one's knickers in a twist about.

I hope to start a phased retirement at 60. Reducing to three days pw. If I defer my occ pension to 67 that will pay about £30k at 67. Frankly I don't think I can keep going until 67 unless I reduce my hours as I approach retirement.

DH has turned his career sideways and hopes to work until he is 70.

But I know the broad brush of our finances, not the minutiae. In the late 90s/early 00's DH played the stock market, enhancing his capital with 0% credit deals. I'd have gone balistic if I'd known. Good job I didn't.