Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know his wage?!

270 replies

notaniota · 08/02/2019 22:55

A few threads on here have got me thinking, I have no idea what DH earns pm! I know his salary (give or take) but couldn’t tell you how much he gets paid and I don’t look at his pay slips ever!! Is this that odd?? Anyone else?? 😂

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 08/02/2019 23:33

11 years in, two dc one on the way..
I don't know dps exact wage and I'm not really interested, we are comfortable and I work part time for shopping and bits and have his credit card if there's something pricier that my weekly wages won't cover he buys all the big things..
Works for us 🤷‍♀️

YouBumder · 08/02/2019 23:33

Do you not want to know how much money you have coming in and going out every month? I find that a bit odd tbh.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 08/02/2019 23:35

I don't know either, been together eight years and just like you. I have my own money, we have seperate finances and never had a problem.

I don't know why I don't know, I guess I just haven't ever asked and neither has he.

Kitkatmonster · 08/02/2019 23:37

Married 13 years and I don’t know, I know his annual salary I think but not bonus/car allowance stuff. We don’t share finances, have always kept our earnings separate but broadly share expenses. So it doesn’t seem odd to me.

Kitkatmonster · 08/02/2019 23:38

Tbf, equally I really don’t think he knows what I earn either.

NicoAndTheNiners · 08/02/2019 23:42

I've been married 20 years and only found out last week what dh esrns and it was 25% more than what I'd guessed it to be!

He's always been very secretive about it.

When we bought our house he wasn't working and we got the mortgage on my salary. We've never made a big purchase together.

Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:43

@YouBumder I could work it out I suppose but there’s a few payments like Life ins that I can’t remember how much it is. I know my phone bills, I know the electricity bill (every 3 months),car ins and tax I pay yearly, I know childcare costs, no other bills really. Other than food and petrol.

OP posts:
NicoAndTheNiners · 08/02/2019 23:43

And I spend my own money. We keep our money separate. He only found out last week what I earn and I think my salary was also more than what he thought it was!

Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:44

@WhenISnappedAndFarted and @Kitkatmonster glad I’m not the only one 😂🙈

OP posts:
bbcessex · 08/02/2019 23:45

Do you know what goes into pensions, OP? Do you know if he pays critical illness, extended sick pay? Do you know how to pay the mortgage / rent / finances etc without your husbands Input?

Both of you should know and have access to your incomings & outgoings.

How do you have a say in your future planning if you could be at least £1k a month out in your combined income based on what you’ve put here.

peachgreen · 08/02/2019 23:50

I could guess but I could be wrong by 2-3k?

The fact that your margin of error is more than many people's take home salary is pretty telling. Nice humblebrag.

notacooldad · 08/02/2019 23:50

I don't k ow how much DP earns.
DP was suprised at how much i earned a few years ago when it came up in conversation. It turned out I earned more than 15 k than expected!

Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:51

@bbcessex yes I know what our life insurance covers and that it also has critical illness cover too. I know that we are nearly mortgage free but in the case of either death the mortgage is paid off anyway. All pension information is in a file,but I’ve never looked at it if I’m honest! I have my own pension too..I just don’t think neither of us look to have a “say” in future planning we just do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:52

@peachgreen I mean for salary over the year not the month!! Example I don’t know if he’s on 47k or 50k as such.

OP posts:
bbcessex · 08/02/2019 23:53

Have I misunderstood, OP? Do you mean you don’t know his hourly rate?

JasperKarat · 08/02/2019 23:53

but I couldn’t tell you our incomings (or our outgoings
Humble brag? 🤨 Clearly you have no need to budget..

bbcessex · 08/02/2019 23:54

You should look at that stuff OP. Don’t rely on someone else to do it, you need to know you’re covered.

Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:54

@bbcessex I definitely do not know his hourly rate 😂 I meant I am unsure of he monthly pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:55

@bbcessex I do know that because I had to sign it obviously.

OP posts:
NewNameForHelpPlease · 08/02/2019 23:56

The fact that your margin of error is more than many people's take home salary is pretty telling. Nice humblebrag.

The OP is talking about her partner’s salary - I don’t think she’s saying his monthly pay could be 2 - 3k higher or lower than she suspects.

OP - if you’re not sure if your partner earns £30k or £40k a year, then yes, it’s odd. If you mean you know he earns £40k, but couldn’t swear to the exact amount after tax on each payslip, it’s perfectly normal.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 08/02/2019 23:56

It's definitely not just you.

My DM doesn't know her partners either. They've been together 10 years and we had this conversation the other day because someone didn't believe her when she said she doesn't know what he's paid

It's not a secret with either of us, I don't know I guess it's just never come up.

Original poster
notaniota · 08/02/2019 23:57

@JasperKarat no need to budget to the penny but I know what I Ca n and can’t afford essentially. Like I know I can’t buy a new coat and designer handbags every month but then I don’t want for those things either so 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
bbcessex · 08/02/2019 23:58

I was confused because you’re using both ‘wage’ and ‘salary’ when they are different things.

I think you mean you don’t know his take home.

Original poster
notaniota · 09/02/2019 00:00

@bbcessex yes I don’t know his take home per month or his exact yearly salary (sorry for the confusion)

OP posts:
Debruary · 09/02/2019 00:01

I know every penny I earn, I know every penny he earns. I know every bill, every direct debit, I know what we spend on food, fun and every penny we put away in savings.

We’re not ‘rich’ rich, but we’re not poor either. I’ve been poor, and I didn’t enjoy it much. One thing I will never ever be again though, is financially illiterate.