To not get excited about getting married anymore?

[rosetonightplease]

DP and I have always said that when his divorce is finalised we'll get married. He has proposed without a ring but has said he knows exactly what ring he'll get me. We've talked about it and I've always said I want to be surprised whenever he actually has the ring. I know he feels it's wrong to be officially engaged when the divorce is still processing. I actually don't mind any of it anymore. I'm happy the way we are. We have a home, a dog, a cat, and TTC. We have a life together and I don't see getting married as something we have to do to be happy. I love him and he loves me like we've never loved before, I just don't feel like I need a public affirmation of it. AIBU for feeling this way? I know he still want to and I do too, I just don't feel like we have to to be happy.

Tbh id never ttc without marriage in a ideal world. Yes i know people do thats their choice but marriage gives you and dc alot more security. Also marriage give your dh your next of kin which can be important if you need medical help. If you dont fancy a wedding just go to register office and grap two people off the street. My aunt and uncle did that. Its the marriage that matters not the wedding.

London I think that's true if you become a SAHM, or have to give up your career while the father goes and continues building his professional life. That is not our case. Also, NOK can be done with a power of attorney.

Just read 18 months. Thats a very recent relationship. Still in the moneymoon part. All my clothes in my wardrobe are older than that. Go careful op especially as had previous children and marriage.

She gets nothing because there's nothing. As simple as that.

I said she would get his pension, you said he doesn't have one, now he does have a pension. You won't get that if he dies before you are married. Even if it's small, it would still help.

Plus you've only known him 18 months and in 2 years he hasn't bothered getting divorced. Are you sure he has nothing else?

The whole thing sounds so wrong to me, but good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

His pension is as good as nothing. I've seen the statements, so in all honesty that makes absolutely no difference. He waited two years because that's what they agreed on. I don't know much about divorces in general, but that seems what a lot of people do. I have a friend who waited the whole five years and in the meantime she's had a few serious relationships.

Financially marriage is more beneficial to him than to me, but that's not the reason why I've cooled down.

The marriage should take place in the solicitor's office with just the two people marrying and members of staff for witnesses.

(This would get rid of all the bride/groomzilla nonsense and also prevent people from using lack of funds as an excuse to delay marriage and string their partner along).

Once you are married you are free to go on and have a wedding if you want to. That would be the big day/dress/party/speeches type celebration if people still want to do it. I suspect most wouldn't.

There you go, modern marriage made simple without all the 'romance' which isn't really what it's about.

Sorry, but I think this idea is very "nanny state". If people want to get married with only two witnesses, they can already do that. Modern marriage doesn't need to be made any simpler than it already is.

I think you should be able to tick a box for joint or separate assets when you fill the marriage form. This is how it's done in France. They also have the "PACs" which is common law marriage, something we don't have but some people like to believe we do.