Over 8s in the changing rooms

[HenweeArcher]

I’ve started swimming just before swimming lessons at my gym recently as it fits in well with the crèche being quiet. I’ve noticed that no matter what day I swim, I can always count at least 2 or 3 boys who are almost undoubtedly over 8 (which is the rule) in the female changing rooms just before lessons. Sometimes they use the separate cubicles (there are a couple in the corners) to change themselves so are more than capable of changing alone! I’m aware that some boys might need extra support for whatever reason but I fail to believe that a handful every day at a small health club do.

AIBU to mention it to management? It doesn’t necessarily affect me a great deal as I’m fairly relaxed about nudity and don’t see it as my responsibility to all of a sudden start changing under a towel or anything but I do feel it’s unfair for younger girls to be put in this position.

If a pool only has unisex changing anyone who wants single sex can find a pool that offers that can't they? If mums of sons have to find places with unisex changing then women who want single sex can avoid the unisex places and only frequent the single sex places

That’s basically what I said a few moments ago.

Both of which are provided for in unisex changing cubicles

That’s not true at all. A cubicle in a unisex room is not the same as a room where no one of the opposite sex is allowed.

“Super.”

Fantastic.

Are we doing adjectives now?

Male changing rooms are for men - and boys.

If your boy can change himself then send him into the male changing rooms!

Honestly - I find it highly inappropriate and ridiculous that boys over 5/6 get changed in the women’s. You are emasculating them.

Then that is there choice.

Would be interested to see which places are busiest - single sex changing or unisex?

I dare say market forces will dictate which ones prevail.

If you are that worried about them - in their gender appropriate changing room - then pop their trunks on underneath so they only have to take clothes off and teach them how to put on underwear under their towels.

But honestly are people really saying they are scared of sending boys into male changing rooms?!

My 6 year old DS is wearing age 9 clothes. By the time he’s 8 I suspect he will look like a young teenager, he’s not the tallest in his class.

It’s hard to tell kids ages so they might well have been within their ages.

But tbh there is not a single pool round here with mixed changing. I would not be happy sending in DS into a male changing room alone where I can get to him under 10. What if there was an emergency, I can’t see what is happening to him. Some 9 year olds wouldn’t be able to cope on their own in an emergency.

Sexualising boys of 9 is weird at best. All children deserve protection. Educating young girls to the difference between a 9 year old in the changing room with mum and a grown man is down to the mothers of these young girls. Otherwise you’re breeding fear and incertainty into children.

Redskyandrainbows67

And 5/6 year old girls who go in with their dads?

What do you mean by emasculate? What is masculine behaviour?

Deadbudgie - they are not sexualising boys. There needs to be a cut off and age 8 is when some girls start puberty hence the rule.

Red it’s not just about age appropriate what sort of neglectful mother sends off a child of 6 into an area they can’t supervise? Or should I send my 6 year old down to the shops

You do know that in many pools, ours included, children can go swimming unaccompanied at the age of 8? Without a parent even in the building?

Golden, but the age limit relates to boys so the age girls starts puberty is somewhat totally irrelevant

“Sexualising boys of 9 is weird at best. All children deserve protection. Educating young girls to the difference between a 9 year old in the changing room with mum and a grown man is down to the mothers of these young girls. Otherwise you’re breeding fear and incertainty into children.”

It’s not about sexualising 9 year old boys. It’s about 9 year old girls, who have have started puberty, not wanting to get changed around them.

Educating young girls to the difference between a 9 year old in the changing room with mum and a grown man is down to the mothers of these young girls. Otherwise you’re breeding fear and incertainty into children.

Nobody is teaching girls this. Most 8 year olds change with their sex at school and will know that male and female adults use different facilities when out and about. There are 8 year old girls with their period and wearing bras. They don't want male classmates to see them in the changing rooms.

Dead- the limit needs to be the same for both sexes. 8 yo boys in the men's don't want 8yo girls in there too.

Dead - girls starting puberty at 8 means 8yo girls deserve privacy from same aged boys from age 8.

“Educating young girls to the difference between a 9 year old in the changing room with mum and a grown man is down to the mothers of these young girls. Otherwise you’re breeding fear and incertainty into children.”
So it’s Ok to say to girls “Ignore these feelings you have of wanting privacy, of wanting a female only space. Put your wants aside-boys are more important than you” What is that breeding into them?

I'm still waiting to find out what emasculating boys looks like?

My son is 7, in age 9-10 clothes. No way on earth would I send him alone into a public place I can't enter, with access to open water, to take his clothes off! Who would do that?!!!

"a 9 year old in the changing room with mum" is not always able or willing to keep their son in check. The former is because they might be changing themselves or sorting out a younger sibling, the latter because they don't give a fuck about the rule or behaving sociably in a communal area.

I'm sure that there are girls with dads in the men also gawping or whatever.

Red it’s not just about age appropriate what sort of neglectful mother sends off a child of 6 into an area they can’t supervise? Or should I send my 6 year old down to the shops

How are they remotely the same?

“My son is 7, in age 9-10 clothes. No way on earth would I send him alone into a public place I can't enter, with access to open water, to take his clothes off! Who would do that?!!!”

So what are your plans for when he’s 8 and isn’t allowed in female changing spaces?

Sexualising boys of 9 is weird at best. All children deserve protection. Educating young girls to the difference between a 9 year old in the changing room with mum and a grown man is down to the mothers of these young girls. Otherwise you’re breeding fear and incertainty into children.

I’m sorry but girls need educating that they should never sacrifice their own dignity and comfortableness for the sake of a boy. They need educating that they should speak up when they see a boy violating their rights to a safe and secure place - especially one that’s designated for their use only. And you need to educate your son that they have NO Right to take these rights away from girls.

I’m so glad this thread is nearly full up I think my heads about to explode with the stupidity and entitled anti-woman behaviour

HalfBloodPrincess

And vice versa of course.

No girls in the boys changing rooms either.

Weetabix I’ve typed that so many times in so many different ways I don’t know how many more ways I can say it.