Over 8s in the changing rooms

[HenweeArcher]

I’ve started swimming just before swimming lessons at my gym recently as it fits in well with the crèche being quiet. I’ve noticed that no matter what day I swim, I can always count at least 2 or 3 boys who are almost undoubtedly over 8 (which is the rule) in the female changing rooms just before lessons. Sometimes they use the separate cubicles (there are a couple in the corners) to change themselves so are more than capable of changing alone! I’m aware that some boys might need extra support for whatever reason but I fail to believe that a handful every day at a small health club do.

AIBU to mention it to management? It doesn’t necessarily affect me a great deal as I’m fairly relaxed about nudity and don’t see it as my responsibility to all of a sudden start changing under a towel or anything but I do feel it’s unfair for younger girls to be put in this position.

Last time I looked, sex is a protected characteristic. You can’t make a female leave a female designated space so a boy can use it.

So is religion - single sex facilities need to be provided to accommodate people of religions where it’s forbidden to show your body to someone of the opposite sex.

So is disability - which is why changing areas for people with disabilities need to be provided (asd comes under this umbrella - accessible facilities need to be provided by law)

So your argument to remove single sex provisions won’t work.

So let's be clear

You don't want boys in the female changing rooms

You don't want unisex changing villages

You will only accept single sex changing but you claim that men pose a risk but are happy for little boys to be put at risk or just not go swimming?

And you say that males are entitled? Ok.

Even ignoring that you are happy to exclude boys you will also be excluding mums of sons and sisters of boys too because I doubt the mum will take a daughter swimming and leave her son out so you are also excluding other females too. But it's everyone else being entitled?

HalfBloodPrincess

Unisex isn't a designated female space so you aren't making a female leave a female designated space.

If you can't show your body to the person of the opposite sex you aren't going to be swimming in a mixed sex session and anyway unisex cubicles will only contain the people you choose to have in there, so no issue.

The changing villages provide disabled changing that is available to the person with a disability plus their carer regardless of sex so it's actually more inclusive.

Well said @Weetabixandshreddies
This thread is nuts.

There are boys changing rooms. The parent is excluding the boy by not letting him use them. No one else. Why are you putting the blame for men’s changing rooms being a risk on the shoulders of women?

You think men arent entitled?

You think women didn't fight for decades to get sex segregated spaces so they can participate in lifestyle basics?

You think it's up to women to permanently sort out the problems?

News flash it's your husbands brother's uncles and even your primary school aged sons who are abusing girls
.
Its you that needs to find another way. Sort term . That doesn't permanently put women and girls at risk.

I didn’t say I didn’t want unisex places. They’d be great! Would solve a lot of angst.
But not by removing single sex spaces - if it’s a choice of one or the other then single sex should come first.

Blimey there are a lot of people on here who are upset with a lot of people

To those parents who diasgree with the age cut off; these are the rules in many pools irrespective of your feelings. In my public pool older boys have been asked to leave female changing rooms.

So, this thread might be “nuts” but it’s probably a good idea to work out what your plan is for when your son is older.

HalfBloodPrincess

Because you are all insisting that males are dangerous. Therefore they are a danger to the young boys too.

So it isn't the parent simply refusing to use them. It is the parent not wanting the boys exposed to the danger that you all are insisting is there.

You can't have it all ways.

Maybe you would be best to campaign for female only sessions? Then you can all go swimming without having to glimpse a male person at all.

And if any of you have sons as well are daughters are you really saying that you are only concerned about keeping your daughters safe and don't care about your son's safety?

That's quite sinister.

“Maybe you would be best to campaign for female only sessions? Then you can all go swimming without having to glimpse a male person at all.”

Why the straw man?

Because you are all insisting that males are dangerous. Therefore they are a danger to the young boys too.

I don’t think this at all. Hence why my son has been using the Male changing rooms since age 8.
He’s 14 now but could pass for older. He and his friends are these ‘scary men’ that you’re talking about being in the changing room ready to pounce on your little boy. Your son will be viewed like this one day too, having done nothing to deserve it.

Not a straw man at all.

Males make up 50% of society. If you don't want to share the space with them, don't.

News flash it's your husbands brother's uncles and even your primary school aged sons who are abusing girls

Well this poster is already viewing your son as being the problem.

What problem do you have with unisex changing then, if it isn't a safety issue? What possible argument could you have against them?
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I take my (just turned) 5 and (just turned) 7 year old boys into the female changing rooms for lessons, the eldest changes in a cubicle. I can point blank say that neither of them have the slightest bit of interest in looking at anyone's bodies around them! They are young children, not perverts. They're thinking about telling me what happened in their lesson, what's for dinner or when can they get onto their tablet once we get home. I also have a female child so I'm not biased. I think little boys get a really rough ride in our society. I'm hoping to be finished with lessons by the time they turn 8, I would not be sending the into the male changing rooms alone. They're little boys.

Me? No problem at all. But I can acknowledge that some people will have a problem as they want to use a facility of their own sex, and that should be available as a priority.

But, at the same time, and in the same way as if there’s no unisex facilities, if there are no same sex provisions available they should go somewhere there is instead of trying to make everyone else accommodate them.

I think there should be a choice.

But as the pp said. If it has to he one or the other then single sex first .

It's like buggies vs wheelchairs.

Ones a temporary problem the other is a permanant issue.

I don't think a solely unisex facility that leaves women and girls at greater risk the whole time is a preferable solution to having to perhaps deal with an alternative for a short period of time

But to an 8 year old girl, who may have breast buds and pubic hair, an 8 year old boy could be in her class and she may not want to get changed in front of him
An interesting variation on this is that the 8 year old girl may easily be in the same class as a 7 year old boy, due to how school birthdays work. What happens then?

But I can acknowledge that some people will have a problem as they want to use a facility of their own sex, and that should be available as a priority.
But why? You say you don't consider there to be a safety risk so why do you think someone's desire to have a single sex changing room can over ride other's need to have unisex changing?

If you go into a unisex cubicle on your own it is single sex. Therefore they get what they want.

Because you are all insisting that males are dangerous. Therefore they are a danger to the young boys too.

My sons used the men's at 8.

An interesting variation on this is that the 8 year old girl may easily be in the same class as a 7 year old boy, due to how school birthdays work. What happens then?

The girl has to suck it up until classmate turns 8 but hopefully the red enough room to change in different areas of the room so neither sees each other's naked body or underwear.

But why? You say you don't consider there to be a safety risk so why do you think someone's desire to have a single sex changing room can over ride other's need to have unisex changing?

Because there are many many reasons why single sex facilities are a necessity. And a unisex facility is not necessary. And because I don’t speak for the hundreds/thousands possibly millions of girls and women who wouldn’t be comfortable or feel safe in a shared space.

I’ve answered all your questions- I asked you one earlier.

Why do you think things are segregated by sex? Why do you think that boys/girls have separate toilets/bedrooms? Why are they split into boy/girl groups from a young age on school residentials?

I changed by myself or with a friend in the women's from around the age of 8. If we went alone or with my dad. Or, I think even if my mum came. She would just wait poolside. It is good to start to foster some independence from a young age and not to shelter them and then they just get set free at 18 if they go off to uni.

The risks of entering a male changing room are surely quite low with people in and out all the time especially at the peak after school/weekend hours. You can always hover nearby etc.

I was just driving to children to nippers and my 12 year old DD said she hated changing there because it was busy and some children hogged the cubicles. I asked the two older ones what age they thought boys should be in male changing rooms and they thought 5. I said it would be tricky for a 5 year old to cope with the shower etc so they thought 6 . I said that the swimming lessons pool says up to 8 was ok and my 10 year old DD was horrified because “8 is so old!”.

For many reasons - privacy and perceived safety.

Both of which are provided for in unisex changing cubicles.

One of our local pools has no single sex provision, only unisex changing so they don't have to provide single sex.

If a pool only has unisex changing anyone who wants single sex can find a pool that offers that can't they? If mums of sons have to find places with unisex changing then women who want single sex can avoid the unisex places and only frequent the single sex places.

nolongersurprised

Super.