I think he sounds too tired out to think straight. Variable night-shifts, particularly when it's manual work, are really knackering. Your body-clock is all over the place and you never feel really awake. I think he knows deep down that he needs to make some changes, but hasn't got the mental energy.
You have the evenings to yourself at the moment and need to do some research. Work out living costs, inc childcare, in different locations. You don't have to go that far out of London for cheaper housing and if you can find work locally, there won't be commuter costs. Look at jobs as well. Even find out the cost of the train/bus fare so he could still play for his team and you'll be able to visit dm. You'll have surplus income to cover it. Make a list of what you could afford with more coming in.
Then present him with a plan, or several plans, so he's got a choice. How much of the loan is your flat deposit? You'll get that back, so can use it to move into new accommodation. He could hire a van for the day and get his sports mates to help out.
The bottom line is your situation is unsustainable. Something has to give. If you could persuade him to get a day job that would be a start. Then you could get an evening job to build up some savings.
If he still digs his heels in, then at least you'll have done your best and, mentally, you'll feel more capable of going it alone.