To ask your thoughts on having two adults, a toddler and a newborn in a studio flat?

[0valtine]

How practical do you think this is? Two adults, a boisterous toddler whos walking and into everything, and a newborn.

One room where you sit/cook/eat/play and then one bedroom. Tiny bathroom and no other space.

Thoughts?

I would save your energy, OP - he’ll see it for himself after a few weeks of the baby keeping you all up, including the toddler.

Good luck. It’s not easy moving in that there City .

It will be difficult but you will manage and your toddler won’t know any different. I think in a year or two when they are 1/2 and 3/4 you may need to rethink things.

@Purpleartichoke unfortunately not.

Discussions were had and agreements reached about relocating which have now been backtracked on, by DP. It was never my understanding or agreement that we'd be stuck here in late pregnancy let alone after the birth.

If I owned it, i'd tolerate it - but renting - no way!

That sounds pretty dire long term if you can't afford to upsize, and it's a choice that could be avoided by moving elsewhere.

How earth would you manage in say 3 years time when you needed to sleep a 3 year old, a 5-6 year old and two adults in one room? Are you all very minimalist, so you hardly have any stuff?

Obviously it's not going to actually kill you and many people in the world live in worse conditions but that's not really the standard I aim for generally.

Sounds horrendous. Can't imagine anyone will get enough sleep, space or peace. I'm sure DP will change his mind about moving further out after a month or two.

I feel for you Ovaltine. It sounds like a nightmare, and very unfair on you and the toddler. Hopefully your DH will see for himself when the baby arrives that your quality of life would be much better if you relocated

He works nights all week and is only here during the day to sleep so is barely around the place to feel the full impact of how cramped we are. It's driving me mad.

Have toddler proofed everything and try to live minimally but have no space for our things (necessities) let alone more stuff when the baby arrives.

Have held off buying anything except the clothes until now because of the lack of storage space, and god knows where the double pram is going to go

There are minimum space standards for rental property. I can't remember what they are but it was the Council that told me, as I rang up to check.

That only seems worth it if you get to make the most of living in London. Are you regularly going to museums and theatres and parks etc? Are you guaranteed entry to a top notch school? Do you have a fantastic group of friends or family that you see regularly that you couldn't bear to be parted from? If not and if you are living a very ordinary life, just living it in London, then I would definitely move for more space.

You can't do that for long. Months maximum, maybe a year would be doable but long term? That's insane

You've posted about this situation before haven't you?

Doesn't he get disturbed during the day by toddler napping and what have you?

Lots of people live in a smaller space, caravans, boats, flats etc but what makes it bearable is having outside space and/or places where you can go, whether that;s the park, toddler group in a hall for running around, friends/ families houses or the local cafe. If you are just literally eyeball to eyeball 24/7 in the flat then that's hard.
I'd have thought cosleeping was the only way to go, though.

So you'll be trying to entertain 2 littlies during the day while he tries to sleep. That makes it even worse.

Sorry, didn't mean to post yet! My previous points were meant to provide examples you could use yo help convince your husband to move.

Yes @Grimbles I have

I thought I made some ground with him afterwards, but he's back on the defensive again and refusing to budge.

We're not making the most of what London has to offer because all of our money goes on this pokey over priced flat. It's insane

That sounds tough and unsustainable for more than a year or so.

How do you find living in the space at the moment?

I’d be putting my foot down on the moving, you will be able to find more for your money if you move further out. It might not be perfect but you must be able to get more space.

You need to push for a move. I'm amazed he gets much sleep during the day

I live in that space and if you can afford to move, I would

he's being unfair if he refuses to move a bit further out

we've got a family of four, similar except new baby just got here recently, and they are doing the same, but only because they own and they want to wait for Brexit to be sorted before they sell up

also they have parents nearby so can escape to a bigger place when necessary. They are constantly going out for walks though and hang around in the local park a lot because otherwise they'd feel so boxed in, the snow week was really hard for them because it was too cold for littlies to be out long.

I find the living space massively cramped as it is, my toddler has one room to run around in and is forever bumping into the kitchen cupboards/sofa/tv unit.

We've had an accident in here already where he touched the oven and blistered his fingers whilst I was cooking and DP wasn't paying attention to where he was.

It feels claustrophobic, cramped and cold to boot.

sorry, need a edit button!

family of 4 living in my block. They are occupying the same amount of space as I am. Kitchen, such as it is, in with living space. Not big. I could throw something and hit the far wall, type of size.

Sounds like you need to make lots of noise in the day while he tries to sleep. Why is he the one in charge though?

No find somewhere bigger I'm in a pickle at the moment sleeping in one room with me and my 3 kids it's depressing.

@newmun because apparently I have no authority and he can shut down my argument and ignore me because he likes London and has family here.

I have family here too, but I don't prioritise them over my own children.