To be angry at what their teaching my 5 year old

[BettyBoo246]

So my 5 year old is having a few issues at the moment. All started with seeing beauty and the beast on a school trip, he got petrified at the wolf scene but wasnt taken out of the theatre and made to watch the rest all be it on the teachers knee. This has caused him to have nightmares since then. Last week they had someone in from nspcc talking about stranger danger, again he got scared and wanted to leave assembly. And now this week they are teaching him about in his words ‘weirdos’ on the internet and now he’s having night terrors screaming at night about weirdos
He has always been sensitive and he is the youngest in his class. I’ve called the school this morning and waiting for his teacher to call me back (also to add this teacher is very very young, no children of her own and this is her first year teaching and she can be very patronising)
AIBU??

Ahh I see what you mean now tennisracquet

I don't think 5 is too young for that either tbh.

This teacher has had several complaints made against her in the last few months, we have been told my the head that she is getting extra support in for herself.

You know about complaints and the head teacher told you she is getting extra support? That is seriously overstepping the mark, and serious breach of personal information.

We were shown a horrible film every year in primary school about the Dangers of fireworks some child put a banger in another child's anorak hood as a joke with awful consequences but at 45 it's stuck with me and I'm very wary of fireworks!

Yesterday was Safer Internet Day so most primary schools would have taught it yesterday (mine did) - its an important thing to learn, each year they do it and each year it gets added to

The other problem is its difficult to take one child out of assembly - given that it takes one teacher out of the frame for all the other children - sitting on the knee again sounds normal

We were shown a horrible film every year in primary school about the Dangers of fireworks some child put a banger in another child's anorak hood as a joke with awful consequences but at 45 it's stuck with me and I'm very wary of fireworks!

That was on mainstream TV too when I was a primary school aged child. During the 70s.

@cheesemongery mostly because I can't keep up with gluing and painting while vomiting

Sometimes Mummy gets sick too and then we watch videos on the sofa.

I think you sound angry with the school over other issues which may be a concern but this is not really the fault of the school, I think you need to differentiate between the accidents etc and stuff that is perfectly normal but your son is particularly sensitive about.

They teach these things in schools all over. It's not pleasant but it needs to be done.

Op, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. It doesn’t matter if this is you first child or 6th if he has a sensitive personality then that’s just him.

I would speak to the school and discuss his reactions and talk through strategies to improve his resilience.

It’s difficult if he is a naturally sensitive person but all these people sneering quite probably have kids with less empathy and are less kind than your son. Sensitivity brings a great many attributes.

Having said that resilience is also a great attribute to have but developing this in a sensitive child will take team work between you and the school.

Good luck op

If you have a problem with the curriculum, you need to discuss it with the school, but teachers don't get to choose what they teach the government does (sadly)

Please stop using childlessness as a stick to beat teachers with. It's hurtful. It took me a long time to conceive, and for a while I thought it might never happen. I am a good teacher, whether I have children or not.

When Iw as around 7, I was approached and inappropriately touched by a stranger, in public in broad daylight and didn't know what to do because we'd never been taught. I was a shy child, so I didn't shout or scream. So it's very important, and IMO, overrides the sensitivities of any child.
Beauty and the beast- maybe not being unreasonable. I don't know the content of the film.
Internet predators- I doubt they are telling them about graphic things. Maybe more of a general "don't talk to strangers on the internet" kind of way, and I would bet money that the "weirdos" comment has come from the playground and that someone has been expanding on the lesson there.

Who remembers the sparkler ads on tv back in the early 80's, and the bonfire ones.

Shame all these ads are no longer shown.

It's all OK to teach him the dangers of strangers and the internet etc. but how are they teaching him? Maybe it's the way they are teaching it rather than the content that is scaring him.
If you have concerns then it's best to mention it to the teacher and an understanding teacher should take on board your concerns and try and work with you.

A kindergarten teacher in Denmark was just discovered to have molested 28 children.

Kindergarten kids here are between 2.5 and 6 usually.

It's important to know inappropriate touch as soon as they can. Waiting until 7 or 8 may be too late.

I think you need to get a grip to be honest. All of the topics you describe are appropriate for a 5 year old. Children have access to the internet at school and usually pre school as well. It is best that they know what to do if something doesn't seem right while they are online. With the best will in the world teachers can't monitor everyone at once. I know from my own experience working in a classroom that up to 6 children may be on the laptops or ipads as part of their free activity rotation. It is impossible to see all the screens at once. In a busy classroom you may be distracted by another child and miss something. Even though schools systems are fairly tightly locked down to the outside world they are still able to access you tube etc and the odd thing can slip through.
Don't forget that your child goes to school with children who are up to 6/7 years older than him. He will hear things in the playground and may even be shown things on phones. I know that they shouldn't have phones in the playground but believe me it does happen.
The fact that your child goes on the internet at all at home means you are way too late in thinking about teaching him that there are some not so nice people out there. That should be done from the very first time you go online with your child, in an age appropriate way.
Stranger danger is something that should be taught by the parent from as soon as the child has some simple understanding.
In my experience of working with children for many years both in schools and through various organisations the most sensitive and anxious children often have parents just like you. They are parents who always think their children are too young to hear about these things, tend to be treated much younger than their actual years and mollycoddled if anyone tries to do otherwise. It is not always the case but is in a large proportion.
These are topics that will continue to be covered throughout the school career. My own 13 year old had an assemble yesterday about keeping yourself safe online. This covered grooming, sexual abuse, people trafficking and bullying. We were sent a letter to let us know what was happening and had the option to remove our children from the assembly. Astonishingly there were 2 parents who did remove their children. Both of these children have parents who believe their offspring are too young to hear about real life.

In all honesty do I want him to know about inappropriate touching at 5, absolutely not.

WTAF???

It's called the PANTS rule and he absolutely does need to know about this, right now, from the school, because it seems you aren't prepared to tackle this bit of parenting to keep him safe. Seriously, if you are prepared to let him be in the care of anyone other than yourself (which you are as he's at school), he needs to know this.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/underwear-rule/

Stranger danger yes I do want him to be aware of this but again surely teaching all these things in a matter of 2-3 weeks is just too much for them?

I think if you think logically about this sentence you will see how illogical it is. It's clearly not too much for them,,as it's on,y your son who is struggling. They cannot stop teaching everyone else because of your child

These are important subjects, and this should not be the first time he is hearing these things, the fact it is is what's scaring him, it's normal to teach your kids these things from a very young age, and well before they go to school.

It's fine to think it's your job to teach him, but the sad fact here is you left it later than the norm, so trying to contextualise this now and deal with his anxiety is what's required.

My 3 year old knows about weirdos on the internet.

maybe just do painting, glueing, play and fun stuff with her?

Maybe she heard the poster talking to an older sibling about not giving out real details in an online game like Roblix or talking about phishing emails on the Internet.

About a year ago there was a tv ad where a crook is trying to sign up to a credit card using someone else's details online. He's scouring this woman's social media and works out her Date of Birth, Employer and Home Address.

My kids don't know my username on here but have been long aware of my email address which isn't [email protected] They've probably seen that my online login for groceries or whatever isn't FirstNameLastName either so have been aware of being as anonymous as you can on the Internet.

I'm surprised that you've not discussed normal stranger danger. Most kids are told at age 2/3 what to do if they get lost from Mum or Dad when out and about,

He’s sensitive, she knows this, I’ve told her before if there is anything coming up that she thinks he might not like then just tell me and I can prep him.

Maybe the teacher didn't realise that he would be upset by a talk about internet safety. I would say it would be very hard for her to predict what would upset him. Perhaps you can ask for details of topics coming up ? I think as someone suggested you should perhaps ask for a meeting but not to tell the teacher off to ask for extra support for your son.

They definitely did Pants with us at that age.

I don't think people are saying don't speak to staff over it but more so it's asking for advice/help from them that all guns blazing.

@cheesemongery mostly because I can't keep up with gluing and painting while vomiting

Sometimes Mummy gets sick too and then we watch videos on the sofa.

@Kismetjayn - so why not watch videos on a safe platform app such as cbbc or itv or netflix. Why youtube and then have to explain to a 3 year old that their are sick people out there.

The way to successfully handle anxiety in children (or anyone), is not to remove them from the source if the fear as soon as they feel it, as this just confirms and entrenches the idea they were right to be anxious. Far better to stay with whatever or provoking the anxiety and let them ride it out and see everything is ok in the end (with appropriate support, reassurance etc). That way you build resilience for the future.

*there

They can be scared of such random things I wouldn't think a pantomime would be an issue but sometimes it can be. Santa even.

We were shown a horrible film every year in primary school about the Dangers of fireworks some child put a banger in another child's anorak hood as a joke with awful consequences but at 45 it's stuck with me and I'm very wary of fireworks!

Did you get shown how to hide under the stairs in the event of nuclear war too? Earlier in my childhood there was the boy whose trainer got stuck in the railway tracks.