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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put toddler in nursery when I have a days annual leave?

312 replies

Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:47

My 16 month goes to nursery 4 days per week and enjoys it. He was poorly last week and we ended up taking an extra day and a half off between me and DH to keep him off. He’s pretty much better now just a cough and runny nose but he’s passed his bugs onto me and I feel grotty Sad
I had a day booked off today to use up leave before I lose it and had thought about doing something fun together, but I feel really rough and had a terrible night sleep so I’ve ended up dropping him into nursery (as it’s all paid for anyway).
Now I’m feeling aaaallll the guilt about leaving him there when he’s not 100% better himself yet, and wondering about whether to pick him up after his lunch. But then the other side of me wants to enjoy my day off, do a bit of house tidying then lie on the sofa and watch Netflix Blush AIBU!!?? And what would you do...

OP posts:
Tunnocks34 · 06/02/2019 17:09

Drago 13 weeks actually Grin.

Zerrin13 · 06/02/2019 17:14

I don't really know what posts like these achieve. Lots of us will agree the OP isn't being unreasonable and a few others will think she is. What I don't understand is why she needs anyone's validation to put her child into nursery for the day. If she really did feel doubtful of her decision surely she wouldn't have done it. Just get on with it and enjoy having a day off and no demands on you. Why do women always have to feel bloody guilty about everything? Do you think a man would be posting on s forum about this issue? He would skipping out of the nursery door without a care in the world.

Jeezoh · 06/02/2019 17:20

Jeez, there’s some judgemental peeps on this thread!

I hope the OP and her LO are feeling better today. And just to add my LO goes to nursery every week on a day I don’t work and I have on occasion still sent them when they’re not 100%, despite me being at home. If they were struggling before they went, I wouldn’t send them and if they struggle during the day, I’d pick them up.

I couldn’t give a fig what anyone thinks that makes me as a mother, I’m secure enough in my decisions!

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 17:33

@Drogosnextwife, maybe you wouldn't be such a miserable bore 🤷🏼‍♀️

😂😂 ooh touched a nerve? Do grow up.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 17:42

Perhaps you should try having a break from yours for a day

My kids don't make me miserable thanks 😂. Now I'm wondering what your poor kids have to out up with if you think kids make you miserable and boring. Probably best if they go to nursery no matter what.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 17:43

wishywashy6

But good try 👏👏👏👏👏

Since you like the hand clapping so much.

HauntedPencil · 06/02/2019 17:45

I didn't even have to read this thread to know the type of comments would be on here.

Of course it's not an issue to use your nursery space and have a day to recover. What's the issue?

CostanzaG · 06/02/2019 17:53

drogo can you not understand how insulting that question is? I wonder if you've ever asked that question to someone in real life? Or do you judge silently?
Does that sentiment extend to working parents who get minimal holiday allowance? Do you judge fathers in the same way as mothers?

Oh are there are plenty of ways to offer an opinion that isn't laden with judgement. I'd start by not asking people why they bothered having children...

NurseryFightClub · 06/02/2019 17:57

DH and I occasionally book leave and put DD in nursery so we can have a nice lunch or movie out. We talk adult stuff and I think it does our marriage a world of good. We pick her up early and take her for a treat though.
In your case don't feel at all guilty you are sick!

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 18:48

drogocan you not understand how insulting that question is? I wonder if you've ever asked that question to someone in real life? Or do you judge silently?

I literally don't know anyone who would do that irl.

Does that sentiment extend to working parents who get minimal holiday allowance?

Well no because they would be at work most of the time. That poster clearly stated her kids or child still went to nursery every day while she was off in the school holidays because she was a teacher! Please do read before commenting.

Do you judge fathers in the same way as mothers?

Of course I would why? Do you believe fathers aren't just as responsible for their children as mothers?

wishywashy6 · 06/02/2019 19:17

@Drogosnextwife a nerve? No why would I take anything you say seriously?
My kids are fine cheers

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 19:43

Well you were getting a bit touchy. They probably are, I still feel a bit sorry for them having a mother that thinks children make you miserable and boring!

CostanzaG · 06/02/2019 19:54

Well no because they would be at work most of the time. That poster clearly stated her kids or child still went to nursery every day while she was off in the school holidays because she was a teacher! Please do read before commenting

I did read it. Teachers get 13 weeks off a year - even if they spent half of that with their children that's more than most parents get off work so I wondered if your judgmental attitude extended to that too.

I had all of august off work last year and my DS went to nursery most days. We had lots of half days, early pick up and days off for trips out - he had much more fun than being at home with me for a full month as he's sociable but an only child. Plus I got some much needed rest and managed to do some work on the house. Our nursery opened between xmas and new year and he went in for a day because me and DH wanted to spend sometime together.

drogocan you not understand how insulting that question is? I wonder if you've ever asked that question to someone in real life? Or do you judge silently?

I literally don't know anyone who would do that irl
Really? Just because you don't know people who do it doesn't make it wrong. Try respecting different parenting styles.

Do you judge fathers in the same way as mothers?

Of course I would why? Do you believe fathers aren't just as responsible for their children as mothers?
I believe men and women are equally capable of being excellent parents but people who hold your judgmental attitudes rarely do. At least you're equitable in your judgments.

UnicornRainbowsRain · 06/02/2019 20:14

Drogos teachers often need a rest from children mentally, especially children who are used to their parents undivided attention. It can be relentless!

JassyRadlett · 06/02/2019 20:52

I don't really care. I was just interested as to why you had children if you wanted someone else to raise them while you were kicking about at home during the what, 12 weeks that you are not working through the year.

Ah love. You make yourself look like even more of a fool and intentionally trying to insult and stir up the thread when you have to resort to such obvious distortions of what a PP wrote to do it.

Bit bored?

ScrumpyBetty · 06/02/2019 21:11

Drogo a mother who has had a chance to rest- yes having a nap and watching Netflix perhaps- will be a better mother, calmer, more responsive to her children's cues and better able to respond to their needs. You are not a better parent simply for having your children with you all of the time, it is about quality of time, not quantity. Going to nursery for a day will not have harmed the child either, they will have been with responsive adults, who presumably would have telephoned OP if their child had been too unwell. Motherhood is about balance- balancing our needs against those of our children, and mothers do have needs too. I know that when I have had some time off by myself to rest, I am a much, much better mother for it and am able to be far more present for my children.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 06/02/2019 21:12

Drogosnextwife
You're just pissed that some of your mindees' parents sometimes take the day off and still send their child to be looked after by you, aren't you. And I guess it must be really fucking annoying to have to look after other people's children when you yourself are feeling under the weather, hence you're so irritated that others don't have to. And to top it all off, it's even worse that the OP sent her son to nursery since you no doubt feel that nurseries are the work of the devil (with, what was it … oh, yes … 80 screaming children running around).

HappyAndYouKnowItGlugTheWine · 06/02/2019 21:14

I do this now and again during the year purposefully just for some down time!

TheWeatherGirl1 · 06/02/2019 21:23

**Some mother's obviously like to palm their children off to have peace.

Yes. Yes, we do.

Gottalovesummer · 06/02/2019 21:32

Well, here's my take on it (as a childminder)

On occasion, parents drop their children off to me and tell me they've got the day mdd.

how wonderful is how I reply. And then advise them to enjoy their day off, whether it involves sleeping/Netflix/the gym/lunch

Why the hell not? Their kids have a great day with their activities/outings with me and the other kids and they don't know the parents are at home.

We all need downtime. Anyone who doesn't is either lying or superwoman.

Gottalovesummer · 06/02/2019 21:33

That's meant to read day off

Tunnocks34 · 06/02/2019 21:52

Drago Please pull your knickers out of your arse. My youngest son attends nursery two and a half days a week. The rest of the time he is with my grandparents.

When I am off for scho holidays, he is in nursery for two and a half days a week, which have to be paid for regardless. The other 4 and a half days of the week, he is at home, with me, sometimes his older brother depending how his school holidays fall.

Anyway, off you fuck. I am perfectly happy with my parenting choices, and the relationship I have with my kids.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 22:12

You're just pissed that some of your mindees' parents sometimes take the day off and still send their child to be looked after by you, aren't you. And I guess it must be really fucking annoying to have to look after other people's children when you yourself are feeling under the weather, hence you're so irritated that others don't have to. And to top it all off, it's even worse that the OP sent her son to nursery since you no doubt feel that nurseries are the work of the devil (with, what was it … oh, yes … 80 screaming children running around).

Only of their kids are of very well like OPs. I have absolutely no problem with nurseries, I've worked in one 😂 but yeah that's what it is 🙄

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 22:13

Ah love. You make yourself look like even more of a fool and intentionally trying to insult and stir up the thread when you have to resort to such obvious distortions of what a PP wrote to do it.

No that is what she wrote.

Drogosnextwife · 06/02/2019 22:16

@CostanzaG

Obviously your pathetic attempt at screaming misogyny failed there then. Also you literally asked me if I would say that to someone irl, my answer... I wouldn't have to , yet you are still not satisfied and feel the need to comment on that.

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