To be sick of people wishing for a small baby?

[Bigonesmallone3]

I'm around a lot of pregnant people at the moment, me being one of them at 20 weeks and it really grinds my gears when these silly people wish for an early/small baby..
I find it a very shallow and naive comment considering it could be dangerous..
My last baby was monitored daily and eventually induced through small bump (lack of water) and slowed growth..
Maybe that's why I gets to me I don't know, or when you see these poor babies that have been born early through no fault of there own and struggle!
AIBU to be irked by this?

If they are wishing for premature babies then YANBU.

If they are wishing for babies that are on the smaller side of the healthy range then I don’t see the problem. Let’s face it, if someone gave you the choice of pushing out 10lb baby or a 7lb baby what would you choose??

I hate to read people making out (like on this thread) that having a 10lb+ baby is a negative.

OP I don’t think you’re being unreasonable I wish people would just stop with the nonsense.

YABU. You’re being over sensitive and equating a previous experience of yours to most mothers desire to not be ripped in half by a baby with a gigantic head.

From a mum of tiny twins born early.

You will find through life people say a variety of things that may come across as insensitive to some but be oblivious to the discomfort it causes.

To be honest I think you are taking these comments a little too much to heart and perhaps this thread has more to do with not having dealt with the resulting worries that came from your small baby?

Maybe have some therapy to deal with any worries you may still be holding on to.

It’s another version of ‘don’t complain about your mum because mine is dead so you’re lucky to have her’.

As a mother of 4 premature babies 3 of whom didn't survive they are morons.

Lets just hope they grow up before they become parents.

It's a bit like smoking in pregnancy to have a smaller baby..Why oh why. So ridiculous!
It's the most non reversible damage you can do to your unborn baby and people still fill their babies full of filthy carbon monoxide rather than oxygen!

I'm 29 weeks this week and this annoys me too!
I don't care if my foof is torn to shreds, as long as my DD comes out healthy!

Well, although I appreciate that no one wants to have a premature baby who wants to give birth to a large watermelon ouch. I don't think its unreasonable.

I don't care if my foof is torn to shreds, as long as my DD comes out healthy

If you knew anything about birth injuries you would care. It’s such a stupid thing to say. Obviously if it was a choice between your DD being hurt and you you’d chose you but that’s not the same as not caring about ending up doubly incontinent for example.

I had first one at 35 weeks as I was told she wasn’t being fed, would be small, be in SCBU, I had been in hospital for two weeks at that point with regular monitoring and a scan the day before induction. She weighed 7lb 2oz! Apart from the induction easy birth, no pain relief and no stitches. Just short of 8 hours labour.
2nd was 40+2 weeks, from first contraction to birth was less than 3 hours, she just slid out when my waters broke, with no help from midwife who was stood by the door. Again no stitches and she was 10lb 4oz. I don’t think the size of the baby has anything to do with how you labour or recover.

I never heard anyone say that, although I have heard a lot of apprehension from pregnant women about having very big babies and the fear of having to break the bottle to get the ship out of it. I had a huge amount of damage from DS1, (8.7llb) needing corrective surgery months after his birth. I had less tissue damage (still a lot, though) and a great deal of blood loss with DS2 (9.6llb) and when I felt like DS3 was even bigger in my last few weeks of pregnancy with him I was very worried about him clawing his way out of my foof like an alien. So, while I would never have wished for a dangerously small baby, those 7 pounders my friends seemed to produce were looking pretty good to me around week 37 when I could tell he was bigger than the others. Luckily he came a week early on his own. He was still 9.8llb, though, and I still needed a fair few stitches.

All I'm saying is, yes of course I was happy my babies were robust and healthy, and of course I would choose that over having a vulnerable baby and an easy birth. But many women feel more anxiety about childbirth than about the baby's health during pregnancy, and it's not unnatural for them to express those fears. It is super insensitive though, to voice them in front of someone who has had an early or tiny baby. My DS1 was in special care for a few days after his birth and I couldn't wait to get him out of there. It seemed so crass of him to lie there in his cot, kicking and yelling and waving his chubby fists, with a two-pound baby in the next cot.

I've not heard of this before although I did say I hoped DS didn't take after his father who was 11 pounds 5 at birth.

Agree with Riddley. The reality of birth injuries is awful. I was double incontinent for a few months and had to have physio for a year. 6 years on I still have hard scar tissue and pain/difficulty using tampons. Sex was impossible for the first year and even now often hurts both me and dh as I was sewn up to tight and scar tissue has no elasticity.

The feeling of tearing and being held down by 6 people while my baby was pulled out of me will stay with me forever. As will the pain and sobbing of sitting on the toilet pouring jugs of warm water over myself while I went thru the daily pain of just going to toilet. The ptsd that both dh and I had was also very real and long lasting, so we've had to have counselling.

For some reason birth injuries seem to be totally minimised. It wasn't that long ago that women died often during childbirth.

My DS2 is now 4. When I was preggers with him my booking in midwife (who actually delivered DS1) was telling me that many of her younger mums to be were smoking like chimneys as it can cause your baby to be smaller. Mind boggling!

Nothing was more frightening than watching my baby lose 2lbs in the first five days. If she'd been small she probably wouldn't have made it. They're naive idiots.

I think you’re being a bit precious due to your own experience

How small are they talking? If it’s around 7lb then that’s reasonable but if they’re wanting a 2lb baby then yes that’s shocking! I don’t particularly fancy pushing a 10lb baby out!

My oldest granddaughter was born at just under 36 weeks weighing 2lb 3oz. The obstetrician who delivered her said she was the smallest for gestation baby he had delivered. They didn't know if she would need ventilated as her lungs were so tiny (she was ventilated for a total of 6 hours to let her recover from the trauma of the emergency c section). She's now almost 12, the size of a 6 year old, and injecting herself daily with growth hormones to try to get to within normal range. (She's never even reached the bottom of the centile charts for her age). I know she would much prefer to be within normal height range. Why anyone would wish for a small baby is beyond me.

I don't think you're being "precious." I think that comment and the rest are being unkind bc you obviously know the ramifications of a small baby while the wishers are hoping for less painful delivery.

However, you can't change others, so try to change the subject or perhaps correct their false impression.

I think they are mad. My big chunky babies slept better than any of the tiny 6/7lbers

These people saying it's reasonable for people to say wishing to push out a 7lb one rather than a 10lb one have you had a 10lb baby? I've had 3 10lb+ and one 7lb 1oz and I'd choose 10lb everytime. My vagina isn't damaged, I can use a trampoline and don't wet myself if I sneeze.
Its actually very unusually to grow a baby bigger than you can deliver. The exceptions are usually due to illness or position.

My 7lb baby ruined my vag. Stitches all over and grazes.
My 9lb baby flew out not a stitch or graze or even soreness in sight.

So it doesn’t nessaceerily mean no damages vag

Most women I know have said this, myself included.
I prayed for a smaller baby as I'm 4ft 11 with a small pelvis. I got my wish 3 times, The largest being 6.5, the other two both 5.13, which was a joy on the last as I had gd.
I doubt anyone ever hopes for an ill preterm baby

All my babies were quite big , biggest 10lb 1oz (his head got stuck and was delivered by emergency c-section at 41 + 5 after being induced) baby 2 was 9lb 6oz at 39+5 , booked c-section as cord was in a true knot ,and my smallest was 8lb 3oz at 37 weeks . To be honest after my first 2 i was hoping baby 3 wouldn't be another whopper , but due to medical problems she was delivered by c-section at 37 weeks and i was so glad ! i could hardly walk or breathe properly with the last pregnancy. i don't think people mean it in an awful way , but after you've had a big baby , you sometimes wish your next one isn't as big