To be sick of people wishing for a small baby?

[Bigonesmallone3]

I'm around a lot of pregnant people at the moment, me being one of them at 20 weeks and it really grinds my gears when these silly people wish for an early/small baby..
I find it a very shallow and naive comment considering it could be dangerous..
My last baby was monitored daily and eventually induced through small bump (lack of water) and slowed growth..
Maybe that's why I gets to me I don't know, or when you see these poor babies that have been born early through no fault of there own and struggle!
AIBU to be irked by this?

*Insensitive enough to imply that small babies are never healthy.
*
What a stupid comment that u have plucked from god knows where!
If you even bothered to read the op you would see that my own baby was small and very healthy.

I'm all for agreeing/disagreeing that's the whole point but to completely make stuff up 🤔

??Anothertempusername - when did I say I didn't expect people to disagree with me?! It's not my thread and I'm the one(still) disagreeing with the OP for getting wound up by anxious women making silly comments. She has not at any point said any of them would not mind their baby being unhealthy just so long as it was small. Deeply naive and unrealistic they may be if they think they can influence how large their baby is without harming its health, or if they think a small baby will always result in a less complicated birth, but it's their midwife's job to explain that to them, not for another layperson to tell them they are shallow and get angry with them

Can't see what difference it makes. The head's the tough bit and that's going to be roughly the same regardless of the rest.

@roundaboutthetown I corrected myself - said I agreed with you!

I think your thinking too deeply. These are throw away comments for conversation only. No one wants a teeny baby or massive one just one that's healthy and as a bonus relatively ok to deliver!

I think they probably mean they want an average 7lb ish baby rather than a 9lb+ which may be more difficult to birth?

My son was 9lb 6oz and I ended up with an emergency c-section as he was too big for me to deliver. It would have been nice not to have to have a c-section but ultimately it doesn't matter really.

Bigger doesn't always mean c-section though. My dad was 13lb 14oz and was delivered vaginally with as far as I know no issues He was my grandma's fourth baby but she wasn't a big lady and none of the others were anything like as big!! She had another baby after (why?!!) who was average sized!

I've heard of people taking up smoking in pregnancy for this reason.
Isn't it sad that we prioritise having a bang tidy vag over a healthy baby.
Often, small babies are more vulnerable.

Bifonesmallone3 - my comment was not plucked from thin air. Your whole OP focused on the dangers of small babies. Not a single word about how healthy and normal they can be. You did not even say that your own baby was born healthy - you said you had to be monitored regularly and ultimately induced due to slowed growth. Small, large, whatever - I don't know anyone who wishes for unwell, and as small does not automatically equal unwell, I think yabu to get angry at anxious women who say they want a small baby, as though they are wishing ill health on their child, or would reject their baby if they ended up with a larger than average one who couldn't wear newborn bany clothes.

Maybe they're just terrified of childbirth and have heard horrific stories of huge babies.

Okay @roundaboutthetown if that's your take it 👍

You're overthinking a throwaway comment way too much FFS.

It doesn't matter if someone wants a small baby because they might be able to enjoy newborn clothes for longer (this is true), why are you taking that as a personal attack? Why are you deeming someone else who is pregnant silly because they've made a throwaway comment about their own pregnancy. Jesus Christ, if you don't like them, don't hang out with them.

It's not a reflection on you, or your previous pregnancy for crying out loud...

It comes from the ingrained notion that smaller babies are easier and less painful to birth I guess.

People talk crap to pregnant women. As long as the baby is well, what does it matter how big or small he or she is? They all look little when they're new born anyway.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope all goes well and hope you recover quickly too.

in advance.

My mum was 5ft 4, size 8 and delivered me vaginally. I was 11lb 3
My 10lb brother was the problem she said as his head was massive.

My 3 were all over 10lbs....3rd time I wished for a nice small 8 pounder 🤣

I’ve been taught in antenatal class that a bigger baby moves slower and causes less damage. Also the difference in the head is minimal compared to the pelvis size.

My DSis weighed one pound, full term. No one expected her to survive. I’m sure my late mother would have preferred a more substantial baby without Drs telling to prepare for the babies death.

Oh ffs. They don’t want a preemie in a ventilator, they’d just prefer to push 7 or 8 pounds through their vagina instead of 11 pounds requiring a massive episiotomy. Why is that such a problem?

I wished for a cat..didn't happen.

My DSis weighed one pound, full term

Bloody hell

My 6 pound 12 baby caused a massive episiotomy that required corrective surgery. The size of your baby doesn’t matter, but you don’t know that when you’re a FTM. Give them a bloody break.

I also am saddened when I hear ppl wish for the bub to come early. I had a 2lb6 baby and it breaks my heart that anyone wishes even a tiny bit of that on a baby!

Of course they don’t mean it.... I do realise it’s barely a considered thought at all! Doesn’t stop me from being saddened by it..

Never heard of this - I think YABU to bother with such a non-event post.

It is easier when they're smaller though. My first two were 9lb3 & 8lb13. My twins were 5lb14 & 4lb2. They didn't make me want to die pushing them out! And no 2nd degree tear either.

Hoping your baby will be a healthy 6lb rather than a healthy 9lb is ok imo.

I’ve said I want the baby to come early. But, As opposed to being late, not prematurely. 37 weeks+.

I’ve had 3 - at 38 weeks, 39 weeks and 42 weeks. My 38 weeker was the biggest. My 42 weeker was the hardest pregnancy, but only the last 3 weeks.