To be sick of people wishing for a small baby?

[Bigonesmallone3]

I'm around a lot of pregnant people at the moment, me being one of them at 20 weeks and it really grinds my gears when these silly people wish for an early/small baby..
I find it a very shallow and naive comment considering it could be dangerous..
My last baby was monitored daily and eventually induced through small bump (lack of water) and slowed growth..
Maybe that's why I gets to me I don't know, or when you see these poor babies that have been born early through no fault of there own and struggle!
AIBU to be irked by this?

I had a 27 weeker who was under 2lbs at birth and you would be surprised at the number of comments I got when she was born, from people saying "you're so lucky she was so small and you didn't have to push out an 8lb-er" etc - so yes, these people do actually exist. It used to upset me so much when I got comments like that, I even had someone say I was lucky she was in NICU and I could catch up on sleep after the birth! Yes, because you sleep so soundly when your baby is 60 miles away and very poorly, plus u was getting up every 3 hours to express for her.

My son was less than 7lb and I still had an episiotomy and needed help to get him out.

Sorry, I was not u was. Stupid phone has a mind of its own!

I'm wishing for a physically and mentally healthy baby. I'm not sure why you'd wish for anything else?

My biggest baby was 9lb. It was by far the easiest delivery.
People try to find things to say when you are expecting a baby. Sometimes it is awkward. I wouldn't dwell on it.

I had two small babies

Ds was 5lb 3oz, dropping to 4lb 12oz during the first week, and dd was 5lb 12oz. No drop.

It wasn’t easy for ds. We had to go to hospital for jaundice as they were extra worried as he was on the small side.

But they were both perfectly fine.

Didn’t stop my bits getting ripped though despite being small

TBH I don't think they wish for a preemie. Jut a small baby so less damage downstairs.
Which is a fad, BTW. My DD was 5lbs, she was tiny, but I still had a epsiotomy and forceps. So yeah, tiny doesn't mean no damage, nor does a big baby mean you'll have damage.

I think it’s just a throwaway comment. I know when I was pregnant I was hoping it wasn’t a big baby and I didn’t want to go overdue! A couple of friends had 10lb+ babies and needed forceps.

I can imagine it’s upsetting to hear if you’ve had a premature babies. DD was in nicu the first day we had her and it was devastating to see some of the tiny babies in there.

My labour with my 10lbs 3oz baby was a lot easier than my labour with my 8lbs 8oz baby. And despite both being above average size, neither caused any significant physical 'damage' to me. That's not a boast, that's just to show that a bigger baby doesn't always mean total vaginal destruction.

I'm sure they mean 6/7 lbs rather than a 12 pound bruiser.

Well I've had 3 big babies and it would have been easier I think had they been smaller. First one I had to have forceps and had 3rd degree tears. 2nd one I had to have a 3 week early section because I had placenta preavia and he was already over 10lb so they brought him out at the end of August rather than his due date in Sept - this will affect his schooling/life. My 3rd I couldn't have a vaginal birth as she was measuring so big they worried it would reopen my tears. Smaller babies would have been preferable.

YABU I had exactly your experience. I didn’t take any notice of anyone else. No one is wishing for a poorly baby or the experience we had. You’re being over sensitive because your hormonal.

They are absolutely daft, small baby does not equal easy uncomplicated birth. Mine was tiny and still got stuck and needed intervention. They probably aren't engaging their brain at all.

My sister had twins that were both over 7lb, having been told by the midwives throughout that she was on track for 4/5lb babies.

She had an awful lot of premie newborn clothes to give away!

My first 2 were over 9lb, I said I hoped Dc3 was smaller, and by 37 weeks I felt very ready for him to come out as I was in agony. I wasn’t wishing for a teeny tiny preemie.
He was evicted on my due date & weighed well over 10lb, lovely having a big squishy baby but I did feel a bit sad as it didn’t feel like I had a newborn.

The first thing people commented on was his size, and that he looked 3 months older, but I imagine that’s the same for very small babies too.

I think a lot of people won't have seen a small baby. I got loads of attention with my 6lb 38 week DD as a newborn from friends, strangers and my in laws.

YANBU, They are vain idiots.

They mean 6/7lb not premature.

My daughter was 6lb 5oz at birth. I sincerely hope for a slightly bigger baby if there’s a next time because that labour was not easy, or quick.

‘Big’ babies aren’t always automatically healthier either or more robust either. There are plenty of ‘bruiser’ (nice term, whoever said that) babies in NICU thanks to pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes.

I was going to say I'd never heard of this - all of mine were over 9lb though first one being that large was a surprise for everyone. Straight forward birth very quick labours - increasingly so.

However, they will be a baby for longer, it's cuter I did hear a lot of that from some people in a sort of mock sympathy having a dig way.

Only other issue was them going down the weight curves – partly due to bf but I think also reaching their natural level – there was a lot of pressure to ff, top up and wean early so they’d go nearer their birth centile which was ignored but got annoying.

Exactly, smaller babies don't necessarily equate to easier births.

I know a few women who insisted their CS be done at 36 weeks for the same idiotic reason (tried for 35) - never mind lung development and health of their babies (at least 2 of which now have asthma ...)

But generally yes, I think people who say it are generally expressing a wish for a baby at the smaller end of the normal, healthy birthweight spectrum, not a baby born at a birthweight so low as to put them at risk.

DD was born at 41 weeks, 6lb6oz. I still had 2nd degree tear and needed therapy for my pelvis.

She was small but small can also cause damage.

I very much doubt that people hoping for a small baby mean a prem. They mean a 6-7lb one.

But big babies would tend to have big heads...?

Both of my 7lb 8oz babies had big heads. Both were 30 hour labours and forceps deliveries and I had a 2nd degree tear and 3rd degree tear. But both are wonderful, I wouldn't have wanted them to be any bigger, but I didn't wish for a smaller baby after the first, just a better birth didn't get that never mind.

Like many people have said I don't think anyone wishes for a premature baby. I want my baby to come early like my first did but I mean full term early (I.e. 38 weeks). Reasons being I'm very small but my husband is very big and I ripped a lot in first labour despite baby coming early (he was 99th percentile). Not sure that's shallow or wishing harm on the baby? Of course the main thing is that baby is born healthy.

Also haven't heard of people wanting a small baby for clothing reasons??!