To be sick of people wishing for a small baby?

[Bigonesmallone3]

I'm around a lot of pregnant people at the moment, me being one of them at 20 weeks and it really grinds my gears when these silly people wish for an early/small baby..
I find it a very shallow and naive comment considering it could be dangerous..
My last baby was monitored daily and eventually induced through small bump (lack of water) and slowed growth..
Maybe that's why I gets to me I don't know, or when you see these poor babies that have been born early through no fault of there own and struggle!
AIBU to be irked by this?

I didn't wish for a small baby second time round (assume small to mean sub 6lb?) to preserve my vagina ....I wished for a smaller baby than my 10.5lb whopper who got stuck and needed forceps and was possibly oxygen-deprived and certainly physically traumatised by the experience!

You will probably have included me as one of those people. Incidently, IME wishing doesn't have much practical effect on most outcomes. But, yeah...I'm shallow and YANBU to be irked

My 3 dc were 6lb5, 8lb5 and 9lb.

I’m 25 weeks with #4.

I’m measuring very big. I have to have a growth scan at 28 weeks to see what’s going on.

I want to go to term but I don’t want the baby to be “too big” because of all the added interventions/induced early/risk of shoulder dystosia/complications that could arise.
My 9lb baby was the easiest labour/delivery. My vagina is mangled anyway.

I was retrospectively slightly glad my DD was smaller because I thought that might had made it less risky that she would get stuck. I gave birth completely alone and without any pain relief (was an accident, was sent home from hospital).

I was expecting a high 7 pounder to fit in with me, my brother, DP And his siblings. I got stuck and was really hard work for my mum to get me out and she had help from midwives, I gave birth to my 6lbs baby with only a tiny superficial skin tear.

She was tiny (as every passer by pointed out) but is absolutely fine and pilling on the weight which is something I'm super proud of, who cares if she's out growing to cute little clothes I've bought and made quickly.

No doubt it's just a bit of idle baby chat. Wouldn't give it a moment's thought.

"pregnant people" you mean women.

One of my babies came 16 days past my due date and was almost 10 pounds. So all my subsequent babies I have hoped would come sooner... but I hadn't realised this might be insensitive to parents of premature babies. I am pregnant again now and will be mindful of this. Although I will quietly hope not to go 16 days over my due date again.

A small baby to me is 7LB's mine was nearly 9LB's

I doubt anyone is meaning they are wishing for a premmie with associated health problems. I think they are saying they want a 7/8 pounder not a 10+ pounder. While technically it may not make a difference in giving birth surely you can appreciate from a ‘yes, I can do this perspective’ women are more confident if they think it’s something the size of a rockmelon rather than watermelon coming through even if it’s not rationale?

I’m definitely guilty of this with mine. I was hoping for 7/8 pounders with the exception of one we knew had to have surgery at birth and I was hoping they would be bigger as the bigger the better from a surgical and aftercare perspective. Of course they were the smallest I had at 6 pounds, otherwise it was around 7.

I had a friend who had an 11 pounder. To be honest they looked like they were ready to go straight into a school uniform.

Are you saying ‘people’ because the dads want their partners to have small babies as well as pregnant women wanting small babies? That’s even more worrying than women wanting small babies as it suggests they might encourage their partners to have c-sections so they don’t get ‘big’ down there. Ugh!

ive never heard of this.... the wieght of my two children were about 8lb'ish each....

I understand why it would upset you, but I don't think people mean a premature or really tiny baby. I had a 7lb baby at 39 weeks and was told repeatedly that I was very lucky and that that was 'perfect' - not having to put up with the frustration/discomfort of being overdue and with a small but v healthy baby (I only had a second degree tear but got a nasty infection in my stitches though - so you can't win them all!). I think that's more or less what people mean - 'early' as in a week or two, and 'small' as in 6/7 pounds.

Because my DD was 3lbs and early, I really have not considered what anyone else has ever wanted, as I just wanted her to be better. She has one issue that may not even be pre-term, low birth weight related but in the early days it was touch and go.

Seriously, I wouldn't take issue with one word they say, they only mean (and I know cause I still cross my legs at the idea of 9lb/10lb baby - I'm just over 5ft for heavens sake), they'd rather a 7lb (as we all know 2lbs make all the difference). Just ignore them and try not to relate it to your experience. Your pregnancy was about you and their's is about them. We're all heroes in our own stories, everyone else is just a bit player.

Congratulations Jax I hope this baby is less vagina mangling!

Similarly I used to get annoyed when I was asked if I wanted a pink or a blue one. My answer was always pink as a blue baby wouldn’t be too healthy and I didn’t care about the babies gender

I have never heard of this. I don’t understand why?

Are they saying they want a premature baby?

Oh ffs, no-one is wishing for an unwell 1lb baby to preserve their vagina. It's just a flippant comment because the idea of pushing something large out of your genitals is scary.

Can we stop judging every little thing pregnant women do or say?

I've only ever heard of this on MN. Surely everyone wants a big healthy bouncing baby

I mean by 38 weeks both times I wanted the babies out. Not because I wanted them small or anything I just was done being pregnant.
I had a 7lb 10oz baby and some stitches but not too bad.
Then I had a 7lb baby and a ton of stitches and a really bad tear which they ? Third degree but luckily it was a bad second.
I tore worse and it hurt more with my smaller baby!!!

My 5.14DD was full term and very healthy.
My 9lb DS was 4 weeks early, I am a 6-8 if he had have been late or overdue, he probably would have killed me. I was shocked and scared when the consultant said this baby has huge hands & feet he will be a whopper.
I secretly hoped he was wrong and DS was small. Great delivery though.

When prop say they hope for a small any, they d t think about one that was born at 24weeks and for who it’s very much touch and go,
They are thinking NOT a 10 pounds baby, one that might be 7.8 pounds or 8 pounds. One that will be easier to deliver.
It goes wth the opposite comments of ‘Gosh an 11 pounds baby! That must have been hard work,’

Same with early btw. But early as in born at 39.5 weeks with no induction and what is, in effect, a full term baby. Because most women find the last couple of weeks harder work for all sorts of reasons. Plus being induced isn’t fun either.

So I get why it irks you. No one wouod really to have a baby that early or so small.
But I also think that people thinks about something very different than you.

"pregnant people" you mean women.

this is mumsnet ffs

sorry just reread and it looks like Im slating the quoted comment.

I'm not. Its the Ops use of people.

In an ante natal group I’m in I’ve heard more than 1 person sat they are chuffed to be being induced early as they get to meet their baby quicker; I don’t think it’s all related to worries about the effects of birth. That said, it’s a small minority!

Say*

People/women/girls
Whatever