Oh OP, this thread makes me sadder for you the more updates you post. I'm sorry you have such a traumatic history of abusive relationships with men, and I'm sorry, too, that the stark if well-meaning advice on this thread is clearly painful for you to read. But the more you post, the more a forest of red flags is springing up around what you type. The stuff about sex being limited and fast is another indicator that this is a man who doesn't remotely care about your needs. And deep down I suspect you're aware his treatment of you is all kinds of wrong, which is why you're posting here for advice.
Of course you don't want to hear what seems to others to be patently obvious. The situation you're describing would be painful in any circumstances, but you sound as if your history has understandably left your self-esteem in tatters. Now you've found a partner who is less abusive than the others, you'll naturally think that this is what normal, stable, loving relationships and families should really look like. I'm sorry, but it isn't. It's really not. It's far off the scale of what a truly loving relationship should be and it's not healthy. Not for any of the parties concerned.
There's an old saying: 'when you're wearing rose-coloured spectacles, red flags just look like flags'. From my own objective standpoint, your posts are peppered with them. The reason they seem less evident to you is because of the issues you yourself have outlined in your updates.
The kindest thing you can do for yourself, OP, is look honestly at your situation and try to get yourself some proper, structured, tailored and targeted trauma-therapy (just counselling on its own won't cut it). Ask your GP for a psychological evaluation, and tell your evaluator exactly what you've told us in the post above about your abusive relationship history and its effects on you. I suspect you need to work on your self esteem as a priority above all else, as until you've done so, you're likely to continue to struggle in your relationships.
No one deserves this OP. Offering you big hugs, if you'd like them, from someone who's come out on the other side of trauma therapy, and who knows life doesn't have to be like this. X