To believe babies don't start STTN at 9 months?!

[Fieau]

my baby is 9 months old and has never slept through the night. The best sleep was at about 3 months, when he did some 6 hours stretches. After he turned 4 months that went back to two hours between wake ups and has been the same ever since. He is fine to go to sleep, has a very consistent bedtime, he just wakes up a million times a night with no improvement.

People seem to either say that their baby started sleeping through the night at a much younger age (3/4 months) or that they didn't sleep through until they were much older (18 months). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground!! My husband keeps saying our baby will sleep through soon.... Am I being unreasonable to just give up any hope of him ever sleeping through the night??!!

He sleeps in with us, as when he wakes up I just feed him and he (usually) then goes back to sleep. I'm feeling broken after so long without a decent stretch of sleep

At 9 months old I went back - and my son was waking at least 5 times a night (and I had to deal with it even though my ex wasn’t working - a whole other thread!)
At 5 years old he was still waking once in the night. He’s now 6 and goes through most nights now. I’ve barely register most nights now, but I know he must have woken cos he’s made his way into my bed!

Back to work that is (full time)

Mine didn't sleep through until they were 2+ dd2 was particularly keen on trotting into our room even at infant school!!!

My son didn't start to sleep through until he was over 2. Sorry :(

Four of mine were around the 9-10 month mark when they started reliably sleeping through.

Haven't RTFT so apologies if I just repeat stuff. I can't add anything about what is 'normal' - sorry. But my baby book said that the minute your baby sleeps through for e.g. 6 hours, never ever again let them start feeding or doing anything during that window, because you know they don't need it. So I was ruthless in sticking to that. (Had twins so sometimes I had to put one in the moses basket in the spare room to grizzle so they wouldn't wake the other - but it did work). All children are different and mine were bottle fed so I think BF is different too - however, I suspect there is no set timescale for any baby for sleeping through. But it might be time to try a bit of 'tough love' - no feeds between x and y hours, and try to extend that period over time? (I always said I would never use a dummy but the nurses in the hospital said it would be my friend when making sure the DTs fed at the same time. Your DC is much older and we'd stopped dummies by then - but it might help? (or might not - sorry if I'm talking rubbish for 9 month olds.....). I do remember those first months of broken sleep and it was so awful - you have my huge sympathy! Good luck xx

My bf cosleeping DS slept through from very early, definitely by 3 months, bc he always (and still does at 18 months lol) has been able to help himself to milk in his sleep without waking. However my niece, also bf cosleeper, didn't sleep through til she was 2.5. So I think a huge amount really does just depend on the child. Currently pregnant again and terrified that I can't possibly be so lucky twice!!!

Personally wouldn't try "tough love" unless you are at total breaking point. They are your babies. Never met anyone with grown children who wished they had given them less cuddles and love.
But everyone is different. As are babies! Go with your gut OP! it's a very short time in the grand scheme of things

Try reading blogs on preciouslittlesleep.com for very gentle sleep training. We sttn at 8mths. Then holiday mucked it up and then recovered at 11mths and never looked back.

My boy was 3 months when he started sleeping through the night and my dd was 2 months. Every child is different. Don’t worry too much I know some people whose baby was the same as yours, the kids are now 11 and they struggle to get them out of bed for school now 😊

Both children have slept through from 8-10 weeks 7pm-6am.
On the few occasions my baby ( currently 10 months) has woken when he has been really unwell ( bronchilitus) I have not given him a bottle as I didnt want him to think it was normal and to start waking for one.
By 9months they should be having enough in day so that they can go through the night so I would try and not feed them after last bottle, I would just cuddle and soothe back to sleep.
I have a sleep programme guide on PDF that a friend purchased if you want it emailed to you, I havnt needed it so not sure what it’s like but it has good reviews online. Just private mesaage me your email if you would like it and I’ll email it to you.

When one of mine was born the nurse in the hospital said that some babies sleep through the night from birth!
But wait until they get home.
I'm elderly now and never sleep through - back to babyhood .

Good to see some others in a sleep deprived fog. My first was just under 2 my second shows only very few signs of starting at 2.2 but we will get there eventually to make it easier I co sleep. this may extend the time scales but for personal reasons I can live with that.

My DS has always been a generally a good sleeper - but I am a big sleep person and was apparently a sleepy baby.

He first slept through when he was about 3 months old and then its been reliable since about 6 months. Usually does 6.30 - 6.30.

I guess some people need more sleep than others, its probably partly genetic.

My eldest started nursery at 11 months and was sleeping through by then. My 19 month old, very rarely slept through, she is still at home with me. Since having a terrible cough for most of December, she would only settle and go back to sleep in our bed. Sometimes I wake up and put her back in her bed, sometimes I can't be bothered. I'm hoping that when she starts nursery (waiting for a space) she'll sleep through. Zzzzz

When I was off on mat leave I felt like a shite mum because I was the only one in any of our baby groups whose baby wasn’t doing 7-7 reliably. It was only when I got back to work that I didn’t feel so inadequate as lots of colleagues told me their babies still weren’t sleeping through at DS’s age and beyond. I was nearly crying one day because our lovely faculty head, a Spanish professor who is very quiet and keeps himself to himself, told me his son hadn’t slept a full night until he was 3 and that DS sounded pretty normal to him! Interestingly enough, all these colleagues were male. I wonder if, past a certain age, some mothers don’t want to admit that their babies aren’t great sleepers for fear of being judged. I know I felt that it must be my fault because I was too soft/lazy/still breastfeeding etc.

Are you an academic? I am, and also found this! Most of my antenatal friends have babies who sleep through (they're all seven months), all my colleagues were like 'well, obviously babies wake up in the night until they're two or three'. I wondered whether it's a bit of a middle-class, liberal parents thing? There certainly seems to be less of an idea that STTN is a mark of 'good parenting' among my colleagues, whereas it's really strong in my antenatal friends.

Totally normal in my world! -I slept with my babies in one of those cots that sit next to the bed with an open side so they can snuggle you for feeding laying down, but to be honest they mostly slept next to me in bed, my husband decided to sleep in the baby's room with ear plugs so he could go to work without being exhausted - we are 14 years on now from the first baby and it worked for us ! Try not to make your live so hard with ideals of 'babies who sleep soundly all night ' and life back to 'normal' life is never going to be 'normal' again after having children , just different - with different expectations and outcomes. Could be teething, could be some kind of indigestion from diet? One of mine teethed in agony and did with second teeth too, the other barely noticed, one couldn't eat dairy .Try to enjoy every strung out exhausted precious minute because they will be grown up before you know it - you will make it through!

My daughter was about 14 months and my son was just over 2 and a half. He woke to feed every couple of hours and then one day just stopped! My son is tiny though so he probably had a small stomach that needed refilling a lot. Every child is different. Both of mine breastfed and sleeping in their own beds. Not that I think it makes a lot of difference.

about 5 years old when my DS actually slept through the night

My child still doesnt sleep through at 2 and a half.

If it is true, then my ds is a good 30 months behind this milestone 🙄

7 years old dc1! Used to come in several times a night and say “mummy I want you.” I would say “go back to bed”. No idea what his game was. Needy.

Haven't rtft but 9 months was exactly when it happened for us. For 2 whole months...

DD1 started to sleep through the night the week after she started in reception - she was 4 yrs 2mth and 2 weeks.
I wanted to kiss that teacher!

Mine STTN at 8mo, coz I sleep trained.

It's entirely up to you what you want to do, but if you are fed up with this situation, change it. At 9mo, assuming he is a healthy weight and was not born a preemie, he does not need to eat at night.