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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To believe babies don't start STTN at 9 months?!

228 replies

Fieau · 02/02/2019 15:04

my baby is 9 months old and has never slept through the night. The best sleep was at about 3 months, when he did some 6 hours stretches. After he turned 4 months that went back to two hours between wake ups and has been the same ever since. He is fine to go to sleep, has a very consistent bedtime, he just wakes up a million times a night with no improvement.

People seem to either say that their baby started sleeping through the night at a much younger age (3/4 months) or that they didn't sleep through until they were much older (18 months). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground!! My husband keeps saying our baby will sleep through soon.... Am I being unreasonable to just give up any hope of him ever sleeping through the night??!!

He sleeps in with us, as when he wakes up I just feed him and he (usually) then goes back to sleep. I'm feeling broken after so long without a decent stretch of sleep Sad

OP posts:
londonrach · 02/02/2019 15:36

Forget to add...hang in there. You doing amazing job!

Notsurehowifeel0 · 02/02/2019 15:36

Dc1 was 7 weeks when she slept through the night. She has health issues though so I think that played a part in her sleeping through so early. Dc3 slept through the night for the first time at 3 months he is 18months now and he will still occasionally wake through the night. Dc2 though was terrible and didn't sleep through a full night until he was 3.5 YEARS old Shock I thought I was going to die through slept deprivation! He would only sleep for a maximum of 2.5 hours at a time. No idea why and we used the same routine with all three.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/02/2019 15:38

DD was 3 years old when she slept through, DS is 2 and still wake 4 times a night (sorry OP)

tinytreefrog · 02/02/2019 15:40

Dd1 3 months, DD2 3.5 years!!! Definitely no middle ground here.

SarahAndQuack · 02/02/2019 15:40

Well, mine wasn't sleeping through the night at 9 months. She slept through just fine from about 5 months to 8 months and I thought it was wonderful.

And then she stopped doing it and has barely slept through a whole night since. She'll be 2 soon.

So I wouldn't worry too much about envying people whose babies sleep through - it could be very temporary!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 02/02/2019 15:41

DS1 didn't sleep through until about 10 months

DS2 was doing full nights at 7 weeks.

Both treated exactly the same, just very different babies.

goodolddaze · 02/02/2019 15:45

@tinytree exactly the same here. 3months Dd1 started doing 7-7am. Dd2 is now nearly 2.5 and still wakes in the night. 4 times last night!!!!

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/02/2019 15:46

My neighbour's baby slept through the night from 3 weeks...

Now she is two and a terrible sleeper!

littlemisscynical · 02/02/2019 15:47

DS slept through from 8 weeks. Then the four month regression hit. Then teething. He has been reliably sleeping through from 9 months old.

Dahlietta · 02/02/2019 15:48

I know what you mean, OP, but I wonder whether to an extent you only hear the 8 weeks and the 18 months types because they're more worthy of comment. Anything under that is remarkable and anything over 18 months is, frankly, horrific. Perhaps there are loads in that middle bracket, but they're not so conversation-worthy? Here's hoping it won't be long for you anyway!

MonsterKidz · 02/02/2019 15:48

My two DS, both terrible sleepers, both EBF with solids from 6 months.

DS1 - awake every 2 hours from birth till around 10 months. Started doing longer stretches like 4 hours. Would properly
Go 6-8 hours from around 12 months. 12 months was a big turning point for him, everything became easier.

DS2 - slept amazingly as a newborn. Was doing stretches of 6-8 hours at around 2/3 months. Then I really don’t know what happened but he became the worst sleeper in the entire world and would only settle near me. Ended up cosleepijf through the night, but would start off on his own. He got better through the night at about 14 months, naps were more consistent and by about 18 months he would sleep for longer but would still wake at around 1pm every night. He’d cry out, I’d go get him from his room and he’s be Instantly back asleep
With us in seconds. I just let this become our norm. Eventually we moved to a bed and he could bring himself through. And now at 4 1/2 he still does the same, although I have no idea what time he moves through now as I don’t wake up. Sometimes he will sleep right through in his own bed and I wake up wondering where he is!

Good luck OP, I hope this improve for you soon.

HollyBen · 02/02/2019 15:49

My first (DD) was 3 months. The second (DS) was 3 YEARS. It was a complete shock to the system.We had a nightly mantra of he'll sleep through soon for about the first year but he clearly did not agree!! We did nothing materially different DS bf for longer and we probably should have moved him from cot to bed earlier than we did

JuniLoolaPalooza · 02/02/2019 15:49

My first child was 3 years old. I used to think every night for months 'maybe tonight will be the night!'. It never was and that first wake up I'd be crushingly disappointed.
I went for DC2 because I thought her sleep was shit.
I was so wrong. DS's sleep has not changed since he was born - wakes every two hours and he's now 10 months.
And it's ok! he will sleep through one day I just have to keep on meeting his needs and we'll get there. Some mornings I just want to scream with it but I mostly try to be patient and keep the faith.

Also remember that every calls sleeping through the night different things. They'll say the baby sleeps all night 'but I feed him at 11.30 and 3.30'. That's not sleeping through to me!

SaturdayNext · 02/02/2019 15:54

I hate to depress you, but DS1 wasn't reliably sleeping through till he was 4. He can sleep for England now he's a teenager, though.

Foreverexhausted · 02/02/2019 15:55

Almost 4 years in and my DD still doesn't sleep through the night! :(

JacksonPillock · 02/02/2019 16:03

Every baby is different, everyone defines "through the night" differently, lots of people exaggerate how great their kids are.

Mine is 2 and has never slept for a longer non-stop stretch than 6.5 hours. And that's only been in the last 6-9 months.

Fieau · 02/02/2019 16:03

@dahlietta that's a good point.

I don't tend to talk about his sleep IRL because I don't want my MILs "advice" Grin

OP posts:
hammeringinmyhead · 02/02/2019 16:03

Mine is three months, breastfed mostly, and had a few nights where he did nearly six hours before waking for a feed at about 6 weeks but ever since has slept bang on 11-3.30, 4-6 and 6.30-8. He is showing no signs of being able to go more than 4ish hours. It's not bad but it feels like a very very long time since I had a proper sleep. I look a bit grey actually.

hammeringinmyhead · 02/02/2019 16:04

Ah yes, those TTNers who mean theirs are awake at 5am for the day. No.

HeyJupiter · 02/02/2019 16:05

Our babies sound identical except mine is now 14 months and still wakes every two hours! Have to feed him back to sleep. Not sure how or when this cycle will ever be broken. You have all my sympathy. Am sure your baby will improve way before mine though.

rainflowerstar · 02/02/2019 16:06

All mine slept through between two and four months old.

Auntiepatricia · 02/02/2019 16:07

All 4 of mine have been around 8-9 months. Always coincides with moving to formula and moving them into their own room.

zigzagbetty · 02/02/2019 16:08

My lg woke twice a night in the same pattern until 12 months. Then we moved her into her own room and within 2 weeks she was sleeping through. Now at 2 and a half she sleeps from 7pm until 7am. It will happen when they are ready!

BillywigSting · 02/02/2019 16:08

Mine is five and still doesn't always sleep through the night.

He has been doing halfs (two four hour stretches with maybe 20 minutes in between) since he was about six months old though

PetuliaBlavatsky · 02/02/2019 16:09

I had one sleep through at 2.5 years one was 4.5 years, one was 10 weeks! I'm utterly convinced it's down to their nature and there's not that much you can do to change it.
You have my sympathies though, I went through nearly 7 years of broken nights and it nearly killed me.

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