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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To believe babies don't start STTN at 9 months?!

228 replies

Fieau · 02/02/2019 15:04

my baby is 9 months old and has never slept through the night. The best sleep was at about 3 months, when he did some 6 hours stretches. After he turned 4 months that went back to two hours between wake ups and has been the same ever since. He is fine to go to sleep, has a very consistent bedtime, he just wakes up a million times a night with no improvement.

People seem to either say that their baby started sleeping through the night at a much younger age (3/4 months) or that they didn't sleep through until they were much older (18 months). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground!! My husband keeps saying our baby will sleep through soon.... Am I being unreasonable to just give up any hope of him ever sleeping through the night??!!

He sleeps in with us, as when he wakes up I just feed him and he (usually) then goes back to sleep. I'm feeling broken after so long without a decent stretch of sleep Sad

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 02/02/2019 23:07

1st baby, bottlefed- 10 weeks
Second, breastfed until 18m, has only just started sleeping reliably through at almost 2 1/2. She has been a good sleeper for a while now, only waking to come through to our bed, but she is finally sleeping til the early hours in her own bed maybe 5 nights a week.
They are very, very different personalities though. The younger has been more feisty and determined from the start.

U2HasTheEdge · 02/02/2019 23:14

My first four slept through from about 6 weeks. Because one was underweight I had to wake him for feeds though.

I thought I had some kind of special powers.

My fifth was the most awful sleeper! She never really slept through the night, it got better around aged 3 iirc and she then just started getting into my bed and going back to sleep. She is 10 now and either can't sleep until far too late, or wakes during the night, but she no longer disturbs me.

It will get easier OP.

MumMumMum1 · 02/02/2019 23:37

19 months here not sleeping through the night. Ever.

IchFliegeNach · 02/02/2019 23:58
  1. Years, that is.
Night weaned at 9 months, ebf. 4 long years 😂
NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 03/02/2019 00:05

I have three and they started STTN regularly at 10 weeks, 12 weeks and 14 weeks respectively. They were all EBF.

I (vaguely) followed Gina Ford's naptime and bedtime schedules (feeding schedules were a little more chaotic) and this worked well for all of mine. The younger two were extremely colicky so they took longer to STTN.

They'd be fed and put down for bed at 6.30, with a dream feed around 11pm (depending on when I went to bed) and then they'd wake at 7am (slightly earlier for the youngest one).

I did sometimes have the middle one waking once during the night for about a week during growth spurts but she refused solids until she was about 10 months old so needed topping up!

TheClitterati · 03/02/2019 00:59

DD1 BF STTN at about age 18 months.

DD2 BF STTN from about 4 weeks. I could not believe it.

Bumbalaya · 03/02/2019 02:31

Mine has never slept through and she is 2. it is improving now though.

FluffySlipperSocks · 03/02/2019 02:38

Ds1 slept through 10/11 hours from 2 months
Ds2 slept through 11 hours from one year old
Ds3 slept through 11 hours (7pm til 6am with a dream feed at 10pm) from 2 months old

They're all so different

TheSconeOfStone · 03/02/2019 17:20

DD1 10-11 hours from 6 months old. DD2 from 8 months. Both around two month after introducing solids.

BunsyGirl · 03/02/2019 17:37

DS2 age 5 rarely sleeps through the night. DS1 was 6/7 when he started sleeping through consistently. I don’t want to depress you but you need to be aware that it could go on for a very long time.

Turquoise123 · 03/02/2019 17:39

Remember we started solids much earlier ...

perfectstorm · 03/02/2019 17:39

My second slept through from five weeks. Then at a year she started waking every two hours. She's only just started sleeping through again at 4!

My first has never slept through at all. (Additional needs, though.)

So yes, they can sleep through from very small, sometimes. But there's no guarantee they'll keep doing it!

I send sympathies. It's bloody hard. Everyone tells you as much, but until you've lived it you have no idea how hard.

MrsAlexKarev · 03/02/2019 17:40

Youngest DD has just started sleeping through at 13mo. She's EBF
Youngest DS who is 2.5years still wakes twice a night. He was EBF until 1 year.
Eldest DD slept through from about 10 months. She was FF
Eldest DS slept through from about 18 months. Also FF.
One day your baby will sleep, I promise!

Onepuddingisneverenough · 03/02/2019 17:46

One of ours slept 9 hours from being around 11 weeks old, the other is 11 years old in 2 weeks and has yet to sleep through for 9 hours. They’re all different

carr1e1977 · 03/02/2019 18:01

Baby 2 slept from 10pm - 10am from 10 days! Got a right shock to the system with baby 2 let me tell you

ChocolateWombat · 03/02/2019 18:07

You will get there. Things which might help bring it closer;

  • being in own room
  • eating more solids and drinking plenty of milk during the day so hunger is less of an issue at night
  • making any feeding at night as brief and dull as possible - no nappy changing unless done a poo, as little light as possible, little if any eye contact, as little milk as you can get away with.
  • remember to leave the little chap for a short while if he wakes and makes a noise - he might just chatter and turn over and go back to sleep himself - that self-settling is vital and they need a chance to do it. Even if there is crying, waiting 30 seconds before responding can help.
  • having a bedtime at 7/8pm and then doing a feed at 11pm or when you go to bed, even if it means waking him
  • aim for sleep over your core bedtime hours (ie 11-6) before aiming for a full 12 hour night, or from 7pm.
  • ensuring they are getting good sleep in the daytime helps - prevents them being so tired at night.

They are different and some take longer. The things above can help though.

silvercollie · 03/02/2019 18:15

My second son, 10 and a bit months younger than his older brother had the 2 hours a night carry on and did not sleep through the night until he was almost 5 years old. Compounding the lack of sleep for his parents were the next two babies born some 14 months and 25 months after him. Parents slept in shifts. This was over half a century ago and overseas with no family to help.

I still find it difficult to sleep all night!
Crazy times.

Zoejj77 · 03/02/2019 18:27

My son is 16 months and still wakes loads. I can’t deal with getting up all night so he sleeps with us it’s my only way to survive as dad works at night

Giraffetower · 03/02/2019 18:29

My newborn slept through the night ( 7pm until 7am). I dream fed her at around 11 and again at around 3am.

We had a few tears and fitful sleeping through the teething stage - but otherwise she slept through the night until she was potty trained.

Then we had a few years of " I need a wee" at obscure hours. Grin

Then she grew big enough to not need our help. Sad

museumum · 03/02/2019 18:31

My ds started sstn at 10mo which coincided with starting a cup of warm milk at bedtime - he was bf up till then and wouldn’t take a bottle. I still bf him in the mornings till 13mo.

Cotswoldmama · 03/02/2019 18:32

It’s different for every baby and I don’t think there’s a difference if they’re breastfed or bottle fed. My eldest was like yours and slept well until 6 months and then teething began and it wasn’t until a year when he started to more often than not sleep through. He slept with us as he was breastfeeding, then at a year when he slept better he went into a cot and I bf him to sleep and he’d sleep through.
My first was premmie and he slept well from early on but only because he was used to not being held all the time. He was in hospital for just over a month and so had routines set up and wasn’t really held very much until I was allowed in with him in transitional care for the last week. He could easily self settle but it makes me a bit sad to think of the cuddles we missed out on for those early days, I’d rather less sleep and more cuddles!

busyhonestchildcarer · 03/02/2019 18:35

If you have been told not to night wean him then you may have to just hang on a bit until you can stop night feeds.problem is normally at his age you would try to just offer water at night as he would have food which would fill him up and settle him for the night.Its very tiring but sounds like you are doing well by him and it wont last forever

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 03/02/2019 18:39

My first slept through from 13 weeks, but I don't know about the other 3. I think I was probably too tired to count by then!

Villageidiots · 03/02/2019 18:39

8 weeks and 10 weeks here. Both breastfed.

zebakrheum · 03/02/2019 18:42

DD1 started contentedly sleeping through the night at about 4 months. We were delighted and I told the health visitor, who decided that since her weight gain had reduced slightly, we shouldn't let her do that and must wake her up in the night for a feed. So we did.

Two flaming years later and she was still waking in the night multiple times. Oh how we wished we'd never listened to such stupid advice.