To believe babies don't start STTN at 9 months?!

[Fieau]

my baby is 9 months old and has never slept through the night. The best sleep was at about 3 months, when he did some 6 hours stretches. After he turned 4 months that went back to two hours between wake ups and has been the same ever since. He is fine to go to sleep, has a very consistent bedtime, he just wakes up a million times a night with no improvement.

People seem to either say that their baby started sleeping through the night at a much younger age (3/4 months) or that they didn't sleep through until they were much older (18 months). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground!! My husband keeps saying our baby will sleep through soon.... Am I being unreasonable to just give up any hope of him ever sleeping through the night??!!

He sleeps in with us, as when he wakes up I just feed him and he (usually) then goes back to sleep. I'm feeling broken after so long without a decent stretch of sleep

There is no difference in how bottle and bf babies sleep overall I dont believe that's true actually whether people like it or not. My antenatal group recently did a poll if our babies were sleeping through or not (around 16m at the time I think) and it was around 70% yes/30% no. 2 of those that said no were FF, the rest bf. There are around 100 mums in it. A handful of bf do, most the yes were ff.

If FF and they had a bottle 2hrs ago you wouldn't give them another but generally you will bf back to sleep for ease and they therefore are more likely to reply on needing it until you break that sleep association IMO.

I thought it interesting that a third of our babies still weren't at over 1 though.

Mine is 20m and still wakes once a night usually. He's slept through a handful of times since 16m when I nightweaned him, that was the first time ever and before that it was 3 or 4 times a night.

Consistent 7-7 about 8 months with dd. My ds on the other hand is 10 months and still wakes 1/2 times a night. Nothing done differently between the two.

This thread describes exactly why you should never listen to anyone else - one PP has said their dc ‘slept through’ from 12-5am and another has defined ‘sleeping through’ from 7-7!

not RTFT but have you tried Elizabeth Pantley's No cry sleep solution? It saved my life. My DD slept through from around 9 months.

I classed STTN as 7-6, so from when we put them down at night until an acceptable time of the morning. The only time this started to happen consistently for us was when we put them in their own rooms. For us, being in the same room meant that the general noises prevented any kind of deep sleep and so when the sleep cycle progressed they'd wake up rather than stay in a light sleep. I think this is the case with a lot of babies who are in with their parents.

However, this doesn't mean that being in their own room is the answer. It was for us, but this doesn't work for everyone and might not work for you.

It's so hard to give advice without knowing which current guideline you're contradicting or who you might be offending. I just remember thinking that as long as they were safe I had to focus on getting some sleep.

Everyone's version of STTN varies. For me it was putting down at 7pm and not getting up until around 7am which was around 6 months (not consistently though- teething/ cold etc). But from 12weeks would sleep roughly 7-2 then feed then up around 7 then feed and back to sleep in bed with me until around 9.

I have 3 and thankfully were all good sleepers. All bf and slept from 10pm to about 5-30-6am from about 3 months. HV told us to offer cold water if wake. It worked.

My DD was 3 and still wakes regularly.
DS was 12 weeks. On the first night he slept all night, I woke terrified when i seen it was 8am, I was scared to look in his basket.
Little pudding was snoozing.

DS was one when he started sleeping through. Nothing had changed (routine etc) he just started doing it! It was luck! He’s been fairly consistent since.

Mine slept through from a month a solid 8-9 hours upwards from 5 weeks old but not until midnight every night! However really active in the day and wanted scheduled naps, needed serious work getting to nap in the day. I would have to walk and push the buggy non stop 2 hrs twice a day. If I slowed down or tried to sit down, baby would wake up and scream. I used to see babies fall asleep so easily on their mums in the day. Mine never wanted to lay on or cuddle anyone, hated sling and cot but loved buggy. I couldn’t comfort without the buggy. All babies are different and with sleep it’s hard to get them to do what you want unfortunately

Of you define STTN as 7-7 my 2 year old has never done it and likely never will - he doesn’t go to sleep until 8.30 and is up at 7! He started sleeping through odd nights from 18 months, now at nearly 2.5 he sleeps through a few nights in a row then has a handful of bad nights, then sleeps again - it’s all pretty random.
His baby sister is 12 weeks and has worked up from 4ish hour stretches to 6 hours by the time she was a few weeks old to 8 or 9 hours now. I am well aware this could all go backwards at 4 months! She does spend all evening cluster feeding though (and as much of the day as she can feeding too!).
I am stunned at how different they are around sleeping - if you left DS tired in his bouncy chair he’d start to cry and get increasingly hysterical until you picked him up - he had to be fed, walked or rocked to sleep, even now he needs someone to sit with him. DD if you put her tired in the bouncy chair she might squeak once or twice but will just drop off to sleep if you ignore her. I think people who’ve only had one type of babybor the other can’t appreciate how utterly different they can be. It’s made me feel so much better. DD has the same cot, same feeding method, same room, same temperature, same parents and parental behaviour, same total lack of routine, even some of the same sleepsuits! It’s not anything I did that made DS a bad sleeper, it’s just in his nature.
Not sure this answers your question at all OP but one day it will improve and even if it doesn’t your baby will get big enough to start on cows milk in a cup if they still need feeding at night and your DH can do alternate nights of waking! This is the only way o have survived DS!

Mine slept 7-7 til with a dream feed at 11 from-
Dd1- 11 weeks
Dd2- 6 months
Ds1-10 weeks
Ds4- 3 and half. (No dream feed obviously) he's four now and he sleeps through around 3 or 4 nights a week.

@drwhy you are so right!! My sisters baby would just drift off to sleep whenever she was tired, even as a newborn. The first time my sister saw me jigging my son around while he screamed and thrashed around she was gobsmacked..... She hadn't realised some babies dont just fall asleep on their own and actively fight it.

Thankfully he grew out of that, for bedtime we do bath, cuddle and lullaby, feed and then he rolls around and falls asleep. Same routine every night and he is asleep at the same time, it's just all the wake ups that are the problem haha.

My 2nd was 10 months

One slept through at 8 weeks. That stopped definitively at 14 months. Sister was born a month later and she got woken every night. Went away with the baby for a week at 4 months and she slept from 8pm to 11am. She was so knackered from being woken by her sister through the wall.

I have a six month old who wakes approximately 4 times at night and I feed him when he wakes. - most of the time I bring him into bed with me to enable me to feed him and sleep. I too am exhausted, but I know this will pass. Every child is different. With my first child I was obsessed with 'when should my child sleep through?' We did sleep training with my first child, but my six month old has a very different temprement and I don't think it's right for him just yet. There will come a time that he will eventually 'sleep through' (or whatever that means!!!!) Try not to compare yourself with other mums too much. You're doing enough as it is without trying to compare yourself and your baby with everyone else....plus in my opinion...no one tells the truth about how their children 'slees through' anyway! (Although sometimes I don't think it's deliberate untruth...the mother just happens to be knackered and can't remember what is going on...or they are so chuffed that the baby is now sleeping through, that they block out the 6 months of sheer hell of night feeding that they have had to endure!) Do what's right for you and your baby. Who are you hurting? This is not your forever...this period will end. It may take a little while longer, but you're not alone...I'm one of thousands of tired mums out there...at 1am, 3am, 5am etc looking out of the window into the darkness thinking...my God, will I ever sleep long enough to dream again? :-) The answer is....you will...just not tonight! :-)

Might not be what you want to hear but both my dds started sttn when we transitioned them to their cot, and stopped feeding them at night... Sorry! It could just be a coincidence though. Dd1, at around 7 months she was eating solids well, and I was utterly exhausted from 7 months of little sleep, so we tried her in her cot, and she slept much longer even on the first night. When she woke my partner said he'd try and settle her, which took some perseverance, but worked as within 2 weeks she was sleeping though and has done ever since. Dd2, was slower starting solids and had issues with weight gain, so waited until closer to 9 months, and then did the same, and again she started sleeping through, and still does at 22 months. She still breastfeeds in the day, but she knows that last feed at night is her bedtime boob, and she takes a cup of expressed milk to bed with her instead (she never took a bottle of expressed milk as a baby, this is something she started asking for at around 18 months 🤷, before then she'd just take water in a sippy cup) as I said, this is just our experience and could be a fluke, but if we had a 3rd we'd do it again. It takes a patient daddy, who's prepared for a couple of weeks of broken sleep, but after doing it for 9 months, he knew it was only fair to give it a go, and loved the fact he could settle his babies after it being all about mummy for so many months. If our youngest wakes in the night (rarely) she calls for daddy as she just wants a cuddle back to sleep, but in the morning she calls for me as she knows it's boob time!

Three kids. The first slept through by age 2, the second around 13 months and the third around 20 months. Before that they were up every hour or two! Very tiring but they do get there. I never left them to cry and they spent part of the night in our bed for many months... babies just seem to end up in your bed! It does pass

forgot to say, both of mine were/are breastfed, and I do think in general they take longer to sttn. Mine both would have carried on waking in the night if I carried on feeding them to sleep I'm sure of it. As soon as this stopped they started sleeping through. Also, especially with our second, we were disturbing her when she was in with us, which was causing her to wake more. The second she was in her cot she was so much happier. She feeds at bedtime now, and then asks to go in her cot as she likes her space to fall asleep (crazy as she's so clingy most of the day?!) My first always fed to sleep and then I carried her to the cot asleep.

DD began to sleep through at about 10-12 weeks. DS didn't sleep through until just before his 2nd birthday. Although after about his first birthday he only woke up about once a night, so not too bad. I didn't do anything different so no idea if it was just them or anything I did.

Now that they are teens, I have the opposite problem in waking them up......

My 5 year old doesn’t sleep through the night 😱

My DD slept reliably 7-7, no dream feeds, from 11 weeks. She was FF from birth and I followed a strict routine and she was always put down to sleep awake so learned to self settle quickly and knew no different. Having said that, I do believe it was purely down to luck and that she was just a good sleeper, she still loves her sleep now, aged 10!

Whenever I'm feeling fed up about my kids' sleep, I Google "realistic sleep expectations birth to five" which brings me down to earth. When my DS1 was about 9 months, I was obsessed with the idea of "sleeping through" and tried lots of different things to get him to sleep more. Now, I realise all young children go through phases of sleeping well and sleeping badly (obviously some more than others). DS1 eventually started sleeping through consistently when he was about 13 months, and slept pretty well until he was 2.5 and we moved house, then after that DS2 was born and he regressed again, last summer in the heatwave he didn't sleep well etc etc.

I agree that it depends as to what you define as "sleeping through". DS2 slept through pretty consistently with a dream feed from about 3-9 months until teething and sleep regressions got in the way. He's nearly 11 months now and I now wonder if I should try and attempt to get rid of the dream feed...!

Both of mine are/were breastfed, btw, and I haven't done anything differently. If anything, I've been more relaxed with DS2 and followed HIS natural routine and cues, rather than trying to force him into a schedule like I wanted with DS1.

newborn to 5 years youngest slept 12-14 hours straight through from day 1 as i used to dream fed regularly through out the night as i was already up all night due to oldest not sleeping(he was 6 when no 2 was born)

5-now(8) he doesnt sleep at all due to disabilities and is up all night and can go a few days without sleep

i havent had a proper nights sleep since 09,i survive on 2-3 hour blocks every few days

kids are 14 and 8 and neither sleep

10 months. EBF. I gradually cut down on the length of night feeds which helped I think, she would quite happily feed for an hour if I let her, so I cut it by a minute or two a night until we were at about 10 minutes, then she started sleeping through.