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Original poster

To believe babies don't start STTN at 9 months?!

228 replies

Fieau · 02/02/2019 15:04

my baby is 9 months old and has never slept through the night. The best sleep was at about 3 months, when he did some 6 hours stretches. After he turned 4 months that went back to two hours between wake ups and has been the same ever since. He is fine to go to sleep, has a very consistent bedtime, he just wakes up a million times a night with no improvement.

People seem to either say that their baby started sleeping through the night at a much younger age (3/4 months) or that they didn't sleep through until they were much older (18 months). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground!! My husband keeps saying our baby will sleep through soon.... Am I being unreasonable to just give up any hope of him ever sleeping through the night??!!

He sleeps in with us, as when he wakes up I just feed him and he (usually) then goes back to sleep. I'm feeling broken after so long without a decent stretch of sleep Sad

OP posts:
ChocolateKeepsMeGoing · 03/02/2019 20:29

My DS slept through for the first time ever last night....he is 19 months and I am hoping it wasn’t a fluke!!

TheMagiciansNiece · 03/02/2019 20:29

My DD slept through from about 8 weeks.
DS didn't have an unbroken night until he was 4 1/2 (years).

It's just random I think.

2ndaryInfertilityage30 · 03/02/2019 20:31

My daughter was 3 years old before she reliably STTN. We finally got our dream of baby no. 2 and here we are 15 mins in, and up twice a night. Both of mine have amazing bed time routines and have always gone down like a dream. I just can’t get them to stay asleep...

Utterlyinsane · 03/02/2019 20:32

Hang in there op. Sleep deprivation is just shitty and broken sleep is just as bad, it will get better your lo will settle eventually. My first was awake every he for six months before he slept through the night my second was also six months but was awake every 2-3hrs wouldn't be out down in a cot for the whole six months and would only sleep on one of us, we had to take it in shifts! You will get there op Flowers

Abbifa · 03/02/2019 20:39

My boy will be 2 in March. He started sleeping through at 13 months (7pm-6am) then at 16 months he caught a bad virus and was quite poorly for 10days and it through his sleep right off, he hasn’t slept through since!

pantyclaws · 03/02/2019 20:42

DC1 - first slept through at 6mo, reliably from about 13mo, but then it went to shit about age 3 and even now at 6 will still wake at least once 3/4 times a week.

DC2 - Only slept through age 2.5. Woke 4-12 times a night until age 2. Still wakes most nights age 3 but "only" once or twice.

I thought I'd experienced sleep deprivation with DC1... Really shit sleep is bloody torture.

Holyshitbags · 03/02/2019 20:46

My youngest didn’t sleep through the night fully until she was about 3!!! Lol
I read somewhere, though, that if they are night wakers they are less likely to be victims of SIDS. I wished I had known this at the time as I think it would have at least felt a little bit better!!
Meanwhile, you have my condolences. You’ll be glad to know that once they DO sleep through you all but forget those horrific sleep deprived weeks/months/years

VoyageInTheDark · 03/02/2019 20:51

DD is 16mo and has been through a couple of phases where she slept through a few nights a week but never consistently. She gave up sleeping through as her new years resolution and is now teething and waking pretty much hourly...

I used to wake my mum up in the night as a child til I was about 11 so karma has come for me

LynseyLou1982 · 03/02/2019 20:55

My DS has slept through reliably since 10 weeks. He used to go to bed about 10pm then gradually brought his own bedtime forwards and now goes up at 6:30 asleep by 7pm. In the early days he was fed or cuddled to sleep then at about 4 months he learnt to self settle so goes in the cot awake then gets himself to sleep. He's formula fed.

PooPooOfferson · 03/02/2019 20:57

My son started sleeping through the night when he was 2y7m (as soon as I stopped breastfeeding him).

NewDOOFUSfor19 · 03/02/2019 21:02

My ds is 7 next month....can count on one hand the number of times he's slept through. He doesn't have sn, no additional needs which is why nobody wants to help just thinks sleep is for wimps. It's would destroying but we'll get there....probably when he moves out 😂😂

schoolsoutforever · 03/02/2019 21:03

My daughter was nine months ish But I did have to let her cry for a minute or two once or twice whereas prior to that I had rushed straight to her.

HappyAndYouKnowItGlugTheWine · 03/02/2019 21:24

DS slept from 8pm with a dreamfeed at 10:30 until about 6am from around 4months. We dropped dreamfeed at 7 months old and he coped fine. I followed a pretty strict routine during the day as DS was terrible at napping prior to 4mo which helped massively and I saw his night sleep slot into place. Its different for all kids though - we got lucky with the sleeping but do have a v strong willed little boy on our hands though so have other challenges!

GeeksCanBeMumsToo · 03/02/2019 21:26

My first was 2.5 years old, and second still not sleeping through but nearly 2.5—good luck 😬

Dita73 · 03/02/2019 21:47

My daughter didn’t sleep until she was 13. That’s years not months. Ironically after that I couldn’t get her out of bed for love nor money. She’s nearly 25 and I’m still knackered

Littlefeather · 03/02/2019 21:55

I feel for you OP. I had bit great sleepers and when lots of people throw out casual ‘x weeks/x months’ numbers where x

Jent13c · 03/02/2019 22:06

I weaned my son at 17 months (offered him water, cuddle and dummy instead of milk) and in one night he went from 4 wakeups to 0. He didnt really put up a fuss, we were both ready. He has slept through (sometimes 6-7, more often 7-6.30) ever since. At 20 months he randomly started self settling and now at 2 and a bit years Im still scared to jinx this excellent luck that we are having. It's a developmental thing, they all get there and as someone earlier has pointed out everyone terms sleeping through the night different so try not to read to much into being the only mum with a crap sleeper.

Horses4 · 03/02/2019 22:09

My first was 9 weeks. So I was totally unprepared for my second who broke me into co-sleeping and didn’t sleep through until 18 months. First now doesn’t sleep through aged 8 but due to inflammatory illnesses so up to the toilet in the night.

Catsinthecupboard · 03/02/2019 22:27

Every child is different. Best wishesFlowers

And don't get a dog...mine are far worse than dc ever were.

EllenMP · 03/02/2019 22:34

If he is 9 months old I assume he is on solids? In that case, can you switch one of his night feeds to formula so his dad can give it to him and you can get one unbroken chunk of sleep? Formula is not poison and is as good as the baby rice he is getting. And if you are still giving him lots of breastfeeding during the day it shouldn’t affect your milk supply to give up a night feed. I had one terrible sleeper out of three babies, also my first. I found that if I got one good chunk of 4-5 hours of sleep (plus a couple of shorter kips) a night that I was ok on that. Getting that one good chunk made all the difference. So my advice would be to get someone else to do one feed of formula in the night and let you sleep through one feed. I think you will feel a lot better for it. I won’t tell you how old that baby was when he slept all night, but I will say that my subsequent two babies slept 12 hours straight through from 12 weeks, so don’t panic when you think about having another one - you may well get an angel sleeper next time. Cold comfort right now though. Sleep deprivation is literally torture. Sympathies.

MumOfOne92 · 03/02/2019 22:41

My little one sleeps 10-12hrs and has done since 6 weeks old.

Wasn't awake until half 9 this morning.

At first I would have rather she woke - I was worried it wasn't normal and she wasn't eating enough but the doctor at my 6 week check and HV's just said I was lucky. I definitely am!

beallrightdahlin · 03/02/2019 22:55

If you feed him when he wakes up and he falls asleep that way then he is learning that’s what he needs to be able to fall asleep. I did that. For too long! Had to then teach baby to fall asleep without needing me or food, wasn’t easy, but it worked. Best of luck. It’s damn hard.

RaspberryBeret34 · 03/02/2019 22:57

Mine woke lots and we coslept till around 2 when I stopped breastfeeding but he still tended to do one wake up per night (just requiring quick settling) till 4/5 with a few full nights sleep (maybe 10% but it was nice when it happened!). He has always been good at sleeping in a bit though which is nice now as I often get lie ins till 8.30 at weekends sonetimes later if it has been a late night or he’s particularly tired.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 03/02/2019 23:09

Mine have all been different DS1 was a dreadful sleeper until he started school DS 2 slept from 11- 7 from the very first night. The others were all inbetween. Even now they are all grown up they still have very different sleep patterns and needs

FontSnob · 03/02/2019 23:11

So glad to see mine aren’t the only shit sleepers! Dd was 4 and DS is 3 and shows no sign of wanting to sleep through. Little buggers.