After school detention - AIBU to say no

[Florasnotin]

DD and DS missed the school bus this morning. Completely my fault, I took their phones from them last night and forgot to set the alarm. They caught the public bus and were 15 mins late.

They've both been given an after school detention on Monday.

AIBU to say no. Punishment doesn't really fit the crime and it wasn't even their fault. I've always stood by the school when it comes to discipline but this seems overly harsh

But schools are legally allowed to give detentions though. Think about how a school would end up if parents were allowed to refuse punishment for bullying, violence against teachers and kids, no homework, lateness. It would soon turn into chaos. Kids wouldn't be safe and no one would be learning anything.

Brilliant. What would you instruct your lawyer to do?

The only escalation it would result in in my house is a phone call to my lawyers.

The only escalation it would result in in my house is a phone call to my lawyers.
Just when you think the thread couldn't get any more hysterical.

@MaisyPops

Nothing hysterical about it. You'd think some of the teachers on this thread worked in cults instead of schools with all this talk of 'punishments', 'consequences' and 'escalations.'

I'm sorry, but the gulag warden teacher can set all the 'detentions' they want. My DC won't be going if I don't agree with their reasoning. The school can go whistle speak to my legal team if they have a problem with that.

Cult like? It's getting like bingo on this thread. Can we get a trivia and irrelevant reference to human rights in soon?

School can set detentions and do not require parental consent (though most choose to give notice).
You can instruct your child not to attend and it will move up the behaviour policy accordingly.
Eventually it will hit a trigger point for defiance (along with associated bad behaviour having been told by home they can behave how they like) & they'd be facing managed moves and exclusions.

I'm not really sure what you suppose a legal team will do in the situation 'school acts in line with the law but parent doesn't like it'.
The legal profession dont rewrite the law around individual personal preferences.

Can lawyers overturn the right given to schools by the government?

I very much doubt it.

BlueTrees123

The only escalation it would result in in my house is a phone call to my lawyers.

That is funny.

A mile to school and they hung around for a twice-an-hour bus instead? That's a 15-20 minute walk MAX that they could easily have done. Yes, they should do the detention.

I used to walk to school (and back), as did anyone who didn't live in a rural village. It was a 2 mile walk. I don't get why kids never walk anywhere anymore!!

This has gone a bit bonkers.

@MaisyPops

Managed moves can only be arranged with parental consent, which I wouldn't provide. I also wouldn't agree to an exclusion, and would take it right through the courts if necessary. You also know, however, that schools are under strong pressure to reduce exclusion figures, so it'd be unlikely to get to that stage.

Schools usually come round to your way of thinking after a little forceful pressure is applied to put them in their place in my experience.

Far too many on this thread who worship schools and teachers like gods who can do no wrong. Not in this house- I make decisions regarding my DC, and the school can like it or lump it as far as I'm concerned.

BlueTrees, if your children attended a private school such as the one PurpleCrowbar works in, your lawyers would tell you to forget the possibility of legal action in response to a 7 a.m. detention. The relationship between you and the school in that situation is governed by the contract with the school, and you can be sure that the terms and conditions would permit the school to impose this sort of punishment. If you refused to go along with it, you would be in breach of contract and the school could require you to remove your children.

So far as maintained schools in the UK is concerned this guidance confirms that parental permission for detentions is not required, and also sets out the rules around after school detentions.

Self-evidently, parents' consent is not required for exclusions either. There is a power to challenge them through the governors, and an Independent Reviewing Panel. Beyond that, you might be able to challenge further through the courts if you could demonstrate that the IRP or governors had in some way acted unlawfully or wholly irrationally, but it's a difficult challenge to bring, and historically judicial review applications do not have a good track record of success for parents.

Christ the crones have crawled out to put there twopenneth in on this one. What a lot of vile comments.

"crones"?

Stop whining they do the detention

@ilovesooty The crone is a stock character in folklore and fairy tale, an old woman. In some stories, she is disagreeable, malicious, or sinister in manner, often with magical or supernatural associations that can make her either helpful or obstructing. The Crone is also an archetypal figure, a Wise Woman.

[santa]

@user1511042793 why should they do a detention for something that wasn't their fault? Fuck that attitude.

I know exactly what a crone is.
I can't see the relevance to this thread.

But it is their fault. Their responsibility to wake up and get to school on time. Not their mothers. Just like all the other students in the school.

SaturdayNext - yep.

Our Head has a tried & tested tactic for parents like BlueTrees123.

He invites them to his office, gives them a coffee & a , nods sympathetically whilst they rant, then whips out the school cheque book, writes them a refund on that term's fees, hands it over with a smile & a printed list of every rival school in a ten mile radius, & wishes them good day.

Mostly at that point they start back-pedalling rapidly, & leave the office having agreed to whatever the original sanction was, & having signed a contract to say their child's place will be reviewed, subject to behaviour, at the end of the term.

Sometimes they storm out & the kid is never seen again .

It's a shame in one way, because we've lost a few perfectly OK students who were just unlucky enough to have an asshole for a parent, but equally, it's saved a lot of everyone's time arguing about trivia since the message got round.

Parents like bluetrees are the reason behaviour in schools is deteriorating.

Teachers are trying to do their job but kids are increasingly walking around like the rules don't apply to them...because their parents are telling them they don't.

I set a detention yesterday and hated myself for a split-second debate about whether to bother because I just know I'll have to deal with a complaint from their parents tomorrow.

It's not about assuming god-like status bluetrees, it's about knowing more about educating a couple of thousand teenagers and the rules needed to do that effectively than you do. Detention is just about the only sanction available to us, and parents of your ilk think even that's too much. Maybe we should let them drift in after their nap and leave early if they're feeling sleepy.

The irony is that you'll realise one day that your attitude has created a little shit, when said shit is refusing to conform to your rules either.

I also wouldn't agree to an exclusion

Is this a joke? Schools don’t ask for a parent’s consent or agreement to an exclusion?

applying pressure to put them in their place ? They are in charge. They decide.

This thread is very extreme on both sides.

It does seem a little ridiculous for parents to believe they can refuse detentions in all but the most fee-desperate private schools.

I do find the arrogance of parents feeling that they can judge the fairness of school policy for their children. What example does that set the children? That they can challenge teachers whenever they disagree? I suspect that many of the parents (especially those with ‘legal teams’🙁) would not believe that junior people in their organisation has a right to reject their decisions because they felt they were ‘unfair’.

And a detention is normally just a time to get some homework done at school, hardly a disaster.

You also know, however, that schools are under strong pressure to reduce exclusion figures, so it'd be unlikely to get to that stage.
Not true. Schools may be looking at reducing exclusions, but that's more in schools thay exclude over almost nothing. A child who has repeatedly worked their way up the behaviour policy, been backed by their parent, a parent refusing their child to do any sanction they don't agree with will have a ton of paperwork and would absolutely be a case for exclusion.
Schools usually come round to your way of thinking after a little forceful pressure is applied to put them in their place in my experience.
Aren't you a delight.
I also like the fact you say in your experience. So you're basically a parent who has had multiple issues with schools over children's behaviour. I can't possibly think why thay might be the case.

You do realise the vast majority of parents will never have a behaviour meeting with school.
Far too many on this thread who worship schools and teachers like gods who can do no wrong.
Bingo!
People say repeatedly there are times to challenge school but a simple sanction for a simple rule knowingly broken isn't it and someone will trot the same old cliches out.