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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is so sad

334 replies

Charlie97 · 01/02/2019 12:33

Newborn baby found in a park last night, my heart breaks for both mother and baby.

I know I would not wanted to give birth alone (I presume mum was alone) and without pain relief and medical help.

Baby found abandoned in freezing East Ham park

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47083204

OP posts:
Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:12

JacquesHammer You’re extremely rude and childish. Calling people thick, stupid and saying things like “I’ll use tiny words” and “make it clearer for you”.

You have real difficulty in debating, don’t you? Are you really struggling to defend your side of the argument that you have to resort to calling people names.

I can assure you I am not stupid. I have 2 degrees including a masters.

I’ll just hold my breath now for you to use your favourite line: “omg I never said that!”

TacoLover · 01/02/2019 19:12

I don’t think anyone on the thread has said that

No pregnant woman freely chooses to give birth without any medical help and stagger to the park within 30mins of the birth to abandon the baby.No matter what the circumstances.

People have said that no woman would do this.

JacquesHammer · 01/02/2019 19:13

I can assure you I am not stupid. I have 2 degrees including a masters

If you say so. You might want to work on basic comprehension skills. It’s useful when trying to discuss on a forum.

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:17

JacquesHammer

It was suggested that posters ON THIS THREAD had stated “abuse was fine”. Having read the thread in its entirety, I’m not seeing those - so a quote would be great.

You’re not going to get a direct quote becuase it’s obvious that @thatsmyspace was paraphrasing your multiple posts justifying the mother’s behaviour, and excusing it.

The same poster suggested they were sharing facts from the NEWS confirming the baby had been abused. I would like to see a link to this article full of insight.

As I said before, if you don’t think leaving a newborn out in the cold dark night is abuse, then that’s down to you but it’s a reasonable assumption to make based on your various posts.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 01/02/2019 19:18

except you clearly are that arrogant because you just said it.

Yes I said it to you after you scolded everyone for ignoring her posts. I did not seek out taco to say it to her, i specifically didn’t want to do that. I said it to you to give you at least one reason why her post wasn’t engaged with.

And then you went on to blame her for not mentioning additional information in her first post.

I wasn’t blaming her! I was explaining why I understood her story differently because there was information not added to the first post.

And no, I won’t be ashamed of myself for not being a mind reader and not knowing information that hasn’t been shared. Confused Don’t be so ridiculous.

and yet you are so desperate to defend the actions of a child abuser that you have dismissed someone who has been through the very same in order to justify your position.

I haven’t defended her mother or dismissed her. taco I had hoped to entirely avoid any of this by not engaging with your story at all and I’m sorry that I was goaded into doing so and causing you upset.

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:20

Thanks Jacques I really don’t need any tips for you, as you clearly have a problem being held accountable for your statements and lack a basic understanding of how debates/general conversations work.

SmileEachDay · 01/02/2019 19:20

justifying the mother’s behaviour, and excusing it

Reasons are not excuses and compassion is not “justifying”.

Why would you not approach both baby and mother with compassion?

JacquesHammer · 01/02/2019 19:21

as you clearly have a problem being held accountable for your statements and lack a basic understanding of how debates/general conversations work

I’m quite happy to be accountable for what I’ve said.

You see, aren’t quote functions useful in that regard.

longwayoff · 01/02/2019 19:21

No no no. When degree counting is thrown into the mix any argument is invalidated. Its dredging the bottom of the barrel. Jacques, you cant train cats Hmm

SmileEachDay · 01/02/2019 19:24

😂 is degree counting the new Godwin’s Law long?

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:24

@longwayoff I would never have shared my educational status and agree it’s totally cringe to do so, but I’m repeatedly being called stupid and patronised with statements such as “let me use tiny words” and “make this clear as possible for you”. It’s just rude and childish!

Hadjab · 01/02/2019 19:35

Well this thread descended into a shower of shit pretty quickly Hmm

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PortiaCastis · 01/02/2019 19:46

Im off to watch the rugby down the pub, It's a lot more civilised than this thread

Greensleeves · 01/02/2019 19:47

Er, JacquesHammer isn't a troll.

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 19:56

Enjoy your evening Portia.

I’m off to watch a Ted Bundy doc, but i’ll keep in mind that none of his crimes are his fault, he’s just a victim of circumstance.

Bye!

JovialNickname · 01/02/2019 20:00

I don't think the park is a coincidence, I think the poor woman felt that as she had to leave her baby, she wanted to leave it somewhere where other children had been happy. In a lovely place (as much as she had any choice about anything) not a horrible place. xx

Raspberry88 · 01/02/2019 20:02

Well this thread descended into a shower of shit pretty quickly

I know...I only went away for a couple of hours! I'm starting to see what people mean when they talk about AIBU becoming really nasty. I'm going to keep on having concern for the woman involved in this tragic story until the point that we know what has happened. Has anyone ever heard the phrase 'innocent until proven guilty?' I'm sure someone else has mentioned it but I can't be bothered to read back through all of the anger. Worth bearing in mind anyway.

longwayoff · 01/02/2019 20:34

How depressing and exhausting. What a shocking lack of compassion and understanding shown in this thread. If this is the future God help us all.

bobstersmum · 01/02/2019 20:47

Does anyone remember the lady that walked out of maternity hospital with her newborn and out into the cold night past lots of nurses and other people, and then jumped to her death with the baby? I had just had one of my dc at the time and I have never forgotten that. Wondering what she was thinking as she walked to where she jumped knowing that she was going to die and take her baby too. Its not that much different to the way a mother abandons her baby, it literally must be sheer madness or just desperation that makes someone feel that there is no other way. I would never judge.

NotACleverName · 01/02/2019 20:56

I’m off to watch a Ted Bundy doc, but i’ll keep in mind that none of his crimes are his fault, he’s just a victim of circumstance.

You can't seriously think that this is a valid comparison right? Right? Give me strength...

Craft1905 · 01/02/2019 21:31

@craft1905 Some people are going to look pretty daft if the heartless cow scenario turns out to be true

@charlie97 And some are going to look pretty nasty, cold and callous when the story of a really vulnerable woman with an horrific life and no hope of being able to keep the baby.

Indeed. But I won't be one of them. I have said that may well be the case. But some people refuse to even contemplate the fact that it might not be the case.

So many people saying poor woman / she must've been desperate / she's only a child hersef etc....when they don't have the foggiest idea of her actual situation.

longwayoff · 01/02/2019 21:37

I do remember that bobsters, poor things. I am astonished by the ignorance regarding post-puerperal reactions on this thread, desperately sad. I never fail to be astonished by the number of people who believe they have absolute command over every area of their lives and that nothing will ever happen to change their self belief. A twist of fate, a biochemical malfunction, who knows what any of us might become, how we could be affected. To refuse to see this in others is our own fear of what we could be in different circumstances.

brizzledrizzle · 01/02/2019 21:40

Does anyone remember the lady that walked out of maternity hospital with her newborn and out into the cold night past lots of nurses and other people, and then jumped to her death with the baby?

Yes, she was local if I remember correctly. She had a long history of mental health problems I believe, it was awfully sad.

Youknowmedontyou · 01/02/2019 21:41

@Craft1905

By saying
Might be, not must be. As others have said, we just don't know. She may be 35 and wealthy, and has dumped her newborn baby because she is booked to go on a Caribbean cruise and the person due to look after her newborn has let her down.

I wouldn't be worrying about how you think others are going to look, you've made yourself look pretty stupid by saying this.

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