To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

My oldest is very bright. He’s so clever and quick and we are so proud of him.
My youngest licks wellies....🤷‍♀️
Couldn’t really care less. As long as they’re enjoying their lives and living them to the fullest that’s all that matters.

I don’t know if she is bright but she is interested in everything. I am hoping she maintains this and doesn’t get sucked into a pointless you tube black hole of time wasting.
Interest and enthusiam are very important.

Mumsnet is not representative of the whole population though; it may well be that children of high academic potential are over-represented in the families here. For a start, the willingness involved in reading a forum about parenting, let alone signing up and contributing, already sifts out quite a large chunk of the population. Then the high standards of literacy needed to engage with chats on here sifts out a still larger chunk. So in terms of both nature and nuture, a large amount of the children of parents on this site will be predisposed to achieving more highly.

Of course this can only ever be a massive generalisation but MN is very much not a typical cross-section of society.

They are good at different things.
My 5 year old can add, subtract and multiply. He can make up rhymes and songs. He can spell simple words.
My 3 year old can write her own name and draw people with details. Neither can ride a bike yet.

Academically I know my daughter is very bright. This comes from her teachers. Common sense wise though she's a dunce!

I think my DS is a fucking genius. He's going to run some huge evil company that makes billions in a morally repugnant way. Like a bank or a pharmaceutical company.

Of course he's only just turned 2 but I'm pretty sure he's got it in him. His manipulation skills are off the charts.

Success is about work ethic, people skills and academic intelligence. If you have two, that's great, but have three and there are amazing opportunities available for you.

My three eldest all have two of those three and are doing pretty well:

DS1 is quite lazy, but bright and quick and personable: doing great in his first grad job.

DD1 is not the sharpest tool in the box but really hard working with fantastic people skills. Again doing well in her first job and discovering a real talent for sales.

DD2 is a bit shy. Bright and hardworking though and doing well at an academic uni. She will need to find her niche.

DS2 honestly has everything. Dropped just 2 points in his Y6 sats, regularly top of his year at high school, excellent sportsman, loads of mates of all kinds. We are determined he shall have every opportunity to excel.

I think the other thing is that the brighter you are in terms of exam results, the more likely you are to come into contact with other people who excelled at school - so you aren’t noticeably any cleverer than anyone else anymore and actually when comes to employment it isn’t really what matters. Think this is what can fuck people up at university!

About half my friends are have phds and distinctions at masters etc and this is a fantastic achievement for them but its not a very useful mainstream measure of success.

So far so good. DS has only ever had top grades in GCSEs, AS and A Levels. Now at Oxford he's average with his peer group. That's as much due to interest and hard work as being bright though. DD has had all 8s and 9s in mock GCSEs. We'll see in the summer.

As others have said. Being bright will only get you so far. To get on in the world you need to be prepared to work too.

Our ASDer was bright before he started school, taught himself to read, taught himself maths, would absorb facts and figures. Has gradually become more average/fallen behind as he’s got older.

Youngest is academically very able, always achieving top of her class, according to teachers.

You wouldn’t know how either of mine were doing though as I don’t talk about it with other parents, only their dad and school

I was a smug parent when my dcs were in Primary. Dd was top if everything, full marks in her SATS, very confident and creative too. Ds was quite as academic but still creative and confident.

Dd is now 14. She's average. She actively not pushing herself in Science. She could do better but as a very 'meh' attitude right now, she's great at drama but doesn't even seem to push herself in that. Very average grades/scores in everything. Good at English though.

Ds seems to be doing better academically. At the moment he's a keen Y7 so that may change. Still average I'd say. He's still super confident though and doesn't think twice about standing up in front of all his peers and trying to make them laugh.

We'll see how they turn out!

I've been told by a lot of her teachers that she is bright. But not a genius. I just focus on her being kind and a good friend.

Dd 12yo is average or slightly below average, she is very like me academically and has to work hard to get the information to go in!

Oldest is currently being tested for what I'm presuming is visual stress again! He was just tested in the hospital last year but the teacher has decided to test him again, gave me exactly the same "diagnosis" as the hospital gave us last year but wants to refer him again. I'm a bit worried they will think we are wasting their time. So oldest DS has struggled quite a bit, younger DS seems to be doing not bad, bit like you OP he is average.

DS is bright and highly articulate but finds maths much harder. He is also a natural lazybones, unfortunately.

My 2 year old told an excellent sheep gag the other day. We also had an incredibly in depth discussion about farts recently. I dont have much experience with the school system but i’m assuming this bodes well for her being marked above average?

DS1 is exceptionally bright. But I've never pushed him academically and he seems happy at school. He's in Year 4.

DS2 I suspect is just as bright but he's very lazy and only puts in the minimum effort wherever possible. He says he hates school but is doing well there. He's year 1.

Mine are both above average (high reading age, high SATS scores etc) but DC1 is anxious and lacks confidence and DC2 is socially inept. We all have our own challenges!

I forgot to mention both of mine were on the Talented and More Able register-but to be honest it meant very little!

Ds14 was asked to attend extra lessons at lunch etc, and he opted out- as he and his friends use lunch and break to do their homework, so they can play on the Xbox when they get home. He’s Year 9, and has not done any homework at home since the start of the year. He must be doing it, or else I would have had a report saying he had not done a piece.

I think some parents get so caught up in things like this, and assume their child must be genius level. When in fact it’s their child and probably 30+ others are at the same level.

At the end of the day as long as your child is doing the best for their abilities, then what more can we ask for as parents?

DD1 is called "bright" quite a lot but I suspect it's more in a bright and bubbly sort of way. She's very confident and interested in a lot. I suspect she may be above average but, really, no idea.
DD2 was called academic by a teacher recently but I don't know how they'd tell... She's not yet five .
People seem to put a lot of stock in academic success from a very young age, it's not the most important thing at all.

I think dd (7) is quite bright. Top set maths, reading, writing etc, doesn't seem to struggle so far at school. Obviously doesn't mean this will always be the case. It's a bit too early to say with ds (4), only one parents evening under the belt so far!

DD1 is 5 and appears to be very bright. She has always been able to pick things up quickly, could count early, recognise letters etc. She's top of her class for reading and phonics.

DD2 is almost 4 and not as bright. She doesn't pick things up as quickly and struggles with reading and numbers. I suspect she could if she tried but she can't be bothered most of the time

I think kids get typecast.

For instance, dd1 is seen as ‘a bit above average’ while dd2 is seen as ‘very academic’ - and yet they have overall very similar predicted grades and are both in top sets generally.

And the school gives house points for different things - the ones dd1 gets are ALWAYS for being ‘respectful’, dd2s are much more likely to be for being ‘successful’ (even in music and pe which she can’t do, but which dd1 excels at). I find that odd.

I have a very bright one and one still on p levels in secondary school. The very bright one isn't likely to be heading for oxbridge as he carries too much neuro developmental baggage. The other one is on course for taking over maybe a small island, though. He'll not be the most benevolent of leaders but there will be WiFi in every tree and hut and obligatory biscuits after dinner.

I sometimes think that the bright kids who are help by their parents through school and college suddenly when let loose in Uni rebel. Some can't cope and are home sick or find the course is not what they thought.
While the sloggers are used to set backs and seem to cope and flower.
The only drop outs I know of in our home city were A* students. Who found being a little fish not the big fish mentally too much to cope with...