To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

DS is average. He’s 1yo and can’t speak or feed himself. By that age I was talking in full sentences and using a spoon.

Intelligence isn’t everything though. It isolates you and makes it difficult to relate to others. And it makes others insecure and jealous, and therefore less likely to offer you opportunities or friendship. Imo you’ll have a much better, happier, more successful life if you’re only slightly above average intelligence.

Ds1 is 5 1/2 and loves to learn but his behaviour at school Sets him back. Going by what the school say he is slightly above average, but hard to say as his behaviour gets him to trouble quite often, and I don't think his teacher likes him 😬

Ds2 is nearly 4 ......I have no idea I just be happy for him to go to school 😁

As long as they are bright enough to manage in this bloody complex world i will be happy. Dd15 is academically bright. Top sets does well in exams. No common sense struggles socially at times. Dd8 probably below average academically tries hard but is great socially and more common sense than me and her sister put together. I worry for dd15 all the time. Dd8 is happy go lucky.

I don't honestly know. We spent from 15 months to 2.5 in the ASC pathway since she wouldn't talk or look at me, several other traits plus sensory. Despite that she was atriculate, uderstood everything I said and seemed to take in information, especially from books (the rare occasions she sat still.) She is almost 4 and reading at year one level, maths the same and has a fascination with numbers. Sentences are hard for her as is change.
I haven't a clue what will happen next year but for now she enjoys a small amount of home learning and reading ORT. I suspect she will even out or be diagnosed with hyperlexia, I only started teaching letter sounds a year ago because I thought it might help her talk more.
Suprisingly she scored highly on the vocab test at speech therapy despite having no sentences this time last year. She could just muster, 'I like peas' when asked what do you like.

Can anyone tell me?!

It's great to be optimistic/positive about your kids.even if you are a bit deluded

It is funny and a bit sad though, how "bright" has become the measure of worth in the world.

Eldest is slightly above average academically. DS2 is below average due to dyslexia and also, to a point, apathy. DS3 is genuinely gifted, but also has ASD so finds school and academic work difficult to process. His knowledge is astounding!
DD I think is reasonably average, though she’s only 5 so too early to be definitive.

Tbh I’m not so concerned with how bright my children are. I do want them to perform well in tests but I don’t particularly believe how well you revise in a test is a sign of intelligence. I am concerned with my children having good social skills as I think these are harder to learn & think they open a lot of doors.

Mine are all about average academically, maybe 2 of them are slightly above but not particularly bright.
Two were excellent hockey players in national mens at 14, and the other a gifted musician.

I suffered quite severely with PFB syndrome, the sun shone from his a**. Subsequently I had his IQ tested...yes he was bright scoring 152.
I realized his sister was much brighter, didn’t bother getting her tested.
Youngest wasn’t as gifted at primary or secondary school, did very well at college and shines at personality which has taken him further career wise than the older two.

all 4 of mine are around 40 now. It is no longer a subject that occupies me. What we see when they are little is often very differnt when they are adult. The many different forms of intelligence are a wonder and academic ability is only one of them

i know mine are not as they are years behind due to disabilities and both being failed by school

14 y old is mentally 11-12 and has only just come out of a nervous breakdown caused by y5 teacher(started oct 15 at just turned 11 finished autumn 18 at just turning14 ),he has a range of disabilities(aspergers,moderate autism,GDD(global development delay) by 2-3 years, severe dyspraxia, mild physical tourettes,ODD(Oppositional defiant disorder),severe anxiety and severe sleeping disorder(as in doesn't sleep)agoraphobic for 2 years

8 y old is mentally 4-5 due to disabilities and being left to play for 3 years(reception-y2)as they couldnt be bothered with him and as he was semi verbal he couldn't tell me,i took him out to home educate christmas term 16,he has adhd,asd(moderate),gdd by 3-4 years,pda and spd,cluster speech,semi verbal and separation anxiety(from me)also doesnt sleep

in the last few years no matter what ive tried or done hes still stuck on reception level

tbh i think it depends on the people you mix with,our friendship circles/groups are home ed parents and group meetups and disability parents and groups activities and everyone has a acceptance of what the child can do not what they should be doing and tbh there are some kids 100x worse than mine

My DD5 is bright in one area - Reading. In reception and being given Year 2 books (and enjoys reading them).

Maths, not so much.

One DC I think I quite bright, sats year and is averaging about 110outof 120,but is a bit of a stress head and worries that's not good enough! And I'm as far from a pushy parent as you could be.
Other slightly younger DC is very average academically but is far more practical, has loads more common sense and empathy.
I think they'll both take very different paths in life but neither will be better than the other.

The child who was the "slowest" in my DD's primary class - always subject to interventions and needing lots of help and encouragement - just trumped everyone else at GCSE last year with a string of 9s -through sheer hard work and dedication. Mother was as surprised as everyone else!

School is such a reality check. I was convinced dd1 was a child prodigy as a toddler as she was quite good at jigsaws!! She has always been a bit of a coaster and middle set ever since !!
My other two are quite bright as in - in top sets, good all rounders and very keen to learn but only in primary still and I've seen a lot of kids start to plateau after doing well in infants so I'm not smug about it and would never say this in real life
I have friends though that are constantly 'because my childs so bright' 'they're just playing up cos they're so bright' ' I do think they need stretching as they're so gifted' etc etc with very average kids !

Mine are top set sort of bright, but not in the elite bright league. They do well enough to have plenty of options and also have plenty of friends.

They will probably all go to Uni, but I'm not expecting any of them to get a first class degree.

My eldest is really intelligent but i did really well too at school so I’m not hugely surprised. My youngest is probably very slightly above average but has autism and struggles in school.

BIL was boasting about how bright his first child was.
Private school 12 in a class..... Loves to read, scholarship offered...
My sister let slip her DS is having to have an English tutor as so far behind, he is year 6. That he is rude to teachers and snobby.

I think my children are bright. Ds1 is exceptional, ds2 has autism and learning difficulties, yet has a reading age of 16, which is beyond expectations. Ds2 is bright at certain topics, and a talented actor. Dd is bright but lazy.

DS 14 is surprisingly bright, at local grammar and not a lot of effort going in homework wise although works hard at school, Worried about lack of effort though. DD struggles but I would say she is bright as in switched on just not academically, but she is happy, loves dancing, and definitely more creative.

Dd1 is a genius - she’s far cleverer than me. She got straight A*s at GCSE and A-level and is on course for a First in her degree.

I disagree that you can’t tell until secondary - when she was in Reception her state primary advised us to move her to a private school if we could afford it as they couldn’t teach her at the pace she wanted to learn. Throughout her childhood she loved museums, history, politics etc.

Dd2 is more normal. She was never interested in learning more about a subject outside of school.

DS1 is above average, nothing out of the realms of a bright kid though. I suspect he's very smart and the y chromosome just means he doesn't do any more than strictly necessary. He's very emotionally aware and sensitive, and the nicest kid you could wish to meet. He will go far once he learns who deserves his time and friendship as he has a talent for getting on with nearly everyone, and is responsible and level headed.

DD is really bloody smart. Like a knowledge sponge. Driven, competitive child. Also a perfectionist and potentially will self sabotage as she gets older as she may put too much pressure on herself.

Am hyper aware she's just like me as a kid and want to avoid the pitfalls I didn't.

The top academically aren't normally the most successful. It's those with the hard work ethic, social skills and EQ that go further.

I always thought my children were bright, my daughter more than my son but until they left school I would say average.
Since they've matured and got older and established in their careers I've been surprised just how intelligent and brilliant they are.
What I love most is their sense of humour and wit. They are the funniest people I know and such good company.
There are different kinds of 'bright' and I think personality is more important than being academically brilliant.

Both are bright but ds2 applies himself much better and as such gets better results.

Ds1 is and always has been of the mindset that'll do and I'm not sure if anything will change that.

Ds1 is bright, but not on paper. He's to lazy and I suspect he can't get information out quick enough but if you speak to him and he's verbally allowed to answer he's like a different kid.

Ds2 is very emotional smart and a very deep thinker. But at school work. Is average.

I'd rarther people thought of their kids as brilliant then average. Tbh