To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

DD1 - very bright but lazy
DD2 - not naturally as bright but still performing very well
DD3 - not academic at all, but very creative

callme I guess you are right, if they push them to hard or tell them they are disappointed if they don't live up to their expectations.

My dad thinks my son's are amazing and above average when they trot out what they learnt at school.
When really near enough every kid will have memorized the numbers for roman numerals. I think he's just so proud and amazed at them learning he goes a bit ott.

Ds1 I think could do well once he finds something he's passionate about. For example. He is working years above in science. But every other subject is average or below. Though I suspect if he put effort into putting it into words he would do better.

Ds2 is emotional smart but average or below in all subject BUT he has a fire in him to achieve. He's always setting up small business to make money and I have no doubt he's motivation will get him where ever he wants to him

I do think if you have motivation to get where you want, wether you did well in school or not is what will help you in adult hood.

My 6 are all so different. None are genius’ though lol.

One is exceptionally skilled in drama and is now a drama/English teacher.

Two of the boys have dyslexia but have managed to push through and both work hard as retail manager/labourer

My 20 year old is an anomaly. She was on school action plus throughout infants and juniors. Learning was a struggle for her. Then she entered secondary and we were called in at month 3 to be told she showed exceptional skill in more than 3 subjects so would be going into an accelerated program?!? I remember asking ‘are you sure you mean our daughter, we have a common surname!’ She excelled in her GCSEs and ALevels. Got on her dream uni course and hated it. She left and works in a hospital retraining to do something else.

Another 1 was a struggle at school but physically was able to do things very early. Firefighter now

And the baby... the one they said was most able, and to expect big things. Well she came home a month after her 16th and told me she was pregnant! The only bright point in that (except my gorgeous grandson) is that wanting to provide for him has given her a push into trying harder in her education as she’d been coasting it.

Interesting, out of about 60 posters, less than 5 have below averagely intelligent children, sele tion bias or delusion?

Controversial, but I'd imagine there's a bit of a socio-economic skew caused by the "naice" middle class people who frequent MN. Especially with primary age DC.

Children of parents who are invested in their children's education, read to them, foster a love of learning etc are more likely to do better at school.

It's certainly the case anecdotally for me - all of the (educated, middle class) people I know with primary age children are doing well above average in reading, writing and often maths. With the exception of two, who are either diagnosed or suspected to be dyslexic.

This is from a group of about 30 children, at 5 different schools, age 5-10.

I think both of my kids are geniuses.

Not really, but one of my kids is very bright academically and the other is average academically but blow-your-mind creative.

Neither of them will give up once they've put their minds to it, even when they find something difficult. I actually think this will take them both further than whether they are bright or not (and it is an approach I find utterly mystifying- not like me at all).

One thing that DC1 did that really impressed me recently was playing Mario Kart for the first time & not going off the road, I’ve still not managed that!

No idea. Mines too stubborn to give us an idea.

Depends on what you consider bright. It could be...

Fairly bright = slightly below average, but has some good skill sets.
Bright = Average
Very bright = good a levels and good course at red brick university
Super Bright = a constellation of stars in exams, a first at oxbridge and a distinction at masters. Good EQ as well.

That way most people can call their children bright 😊

Why does it even matter?
As long as they are happy.

My DD got mainly A*-A/B in her GCSEs and a C in maths. So I’m guessing above average in most subjects.
I tend to think it is best to be an all-rounder, she is studying A-levels, Grade 6 ballet, has a part time job and is learning to drive.

but I'd imagine there's a bit of a socio-economic skew caused by the "naice" middle class people who frequent MN.

I seriously doubt that they are the majority of the forum users, just read the reaction when someone dares earning anything more than £50k a year on here...

My daughter did probably below average at school and went straight into work. I did my degree and post grad in my twenties and thirties so maybe she'll follow. However, today was her only day off and she spent it driving my 76 year old mother and her 78 year old friend to a funeral, waited outside the church and then drove them to the crematorium, waited again then took them to the get together after. She's kind and caring and I know which I value most

Ehh, I have one distinctly average child, totally middle of the road, can't really be arsed, is a dreamer. Totally going to be a musician or artist or drift away with the fairies one of these days!
One who's above average and fairly bright. However they will do the bare minimum to get by, and coast quite easily. The curse of being able to do things easily I guess.
My average child will work for things, whereas the above average one doesn't have to - being brighter doesn't mean harder working by any stretch. Or it doesn't in the Sequins house! We don't discuss it, the DC aren't really aware I don't think, and as long as they're being kind, friendly, honest, and accepting, I don't really care what their grades are. Average child is definitely kinder and more attuned to feelingsy stuff than the other.
Of course, DH and I are veritable geniuses!

Both DC are currently sitting looking fairly vacant in front of the telly, frying a few more brain cells.
Some advice from a mum of teens - don't listen to what other parents say. Of course their DC are geniuses, no one is going to say, 'oh yes, little Jacinta is thick as mince!' Take it all with a pinch of salt.

Your friends are fondly delusional - as are mine. I hear all about their DCs' abilities, then I see them in action unable to do basic stuff my (average at best) DS can do, and I take it all with a massive pinch of salt.

I do sometimes worry about why I am not delusional too - is it a parental failing to not think your DC is a genius?

DS1 is super bright , at Uni studying Chemical Engineering. He has AS so has trouble with relationships and interaction at times.

We thought DS2 was exceptionally bright but now he's surrounded by lots of other more exceptionally bright children at grammar school in Year 7 so we've had a rethink

DD has passed her 11+ and will join her brother at grammar school in September . She's not as bright but has a fierce attitude and high perseverance levels.

Of course, they are all just amazing in their own ways

I'd say somewhere between average and bright, she's in top groups she is a little slow at writing and often day dreams.

Borderline gifted made me snort my tea

Sorry that say she's in the top groups in class but insert rest of comment

Ds1 is average although he excels in sport. Ds2 is below average. I was definetly above average at school and got very good results with not much effort. My 2 obviously take after their dad 😉 they both usually get very good for effort though so I am happy with that

Are your friends exceptionally bright OP?
I doubt whether an exceptionally bright person would see being very academic as entirely positive.

Think it's irrelevant. Just because you get 3 x A* and a 1 st class degree from Oxford doesn't mean your'll end up earning a lot. You might earn £50k, but your stupid non gcse mate down the road could earn £3 million a year.

Ds1 is Uber bright. His teachers at secondary keep telling me that he is exceptional and they haven't met anyone as bright as him in years. Expected to get A* equivalent in all subjects. Will he? He's lazy as anything and only does the bare minimum.

Ds2 is bright. Not like Ds1 though. But good enough. Only does the bare minimum though.

And! If I could play piano half as well as average child, particularly as he can hear a tune once and just play it, I'd be delighted. Everyone has something they shine at. It pisses me off that schools focus on academia so much, when emotional intelligence, and creativity should be just as nurtured.
I'll get my flowers in my hair, gather up my hessian skirt, and see myself out ✌️

I was ‘bright’ and became a bit lazy because I never had to try. This does not set you up well prepared for achieving your fullest in later life. Based on your post you seem to agree with this and therefore wouldn’t want your kids labelled ‘bright’ for this reason ?

DS1 is 6 and is doing well academically. Some other parents say he’s very bright, the teachers say he’s like a sponge for information. I would never say he’s bright even though he appears the best in class right now in some areas, but I do say to him he’s good at reading etc. Maybe I’m a bit mean?!

There are other less academic areas he is not as strong in.

DS2 (2yrs) is extremely strong in speech and in imaginative play but I don’t really call him bright.

I think it’s a good thing if all kids are given work at the level they are at. I hope that helps to stretch them just enough.

I'm starting to think my son may actually be stoopid!! He just does not think anything through... academically I'm sure he could do better but has a serious case of I can't be arsed

DD7 is curious and performing above the curve in literacy and humanities and is distinctly average in maths, so I guess it depends what you measured bright on?

To me, the fact that she's curious and people always mention her manners and her smile first is good enough for me