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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think MN really is becoming a nest of vipers

179 replies

BeMorePollyanna · 30/01/2019 10:13

Name changed

I reported 4 posts yesterday eve, all of which were deleted. I wasn't on the threads concerned just browsing through them. That's more than I reported in the last 6 months I think. I was also on the receiving end of stupid comments this week because someone CBA to read the thread and decided I'd said something I hadn't.

I know this subject has been covered previously but am I alone in thinking MN has become increasingly unpleasant lately? There seems to be real spite and nastiness.

OP posts:
headinhands · 31/01/2019 13:46

Try this link

Schuyler · 31/01/2019 13:52

MN has changed because of the trolling and the fantasists, as well as the pervs (poo troll, period troll and pee troll etc). People are on edge and snippy about that and it can come across badly.

There’s also an element of sensitivity on here that wasn’t always here. It’s not even when people are nasty, as such, just some people get offended when everyone doesn’t agree with them and declares it’s not fair on the sisterhood or “we are all mums”. All that said, there are some absolutely twats on here. I’m not sure if it’s always been this way, I think it has.

OneStepMoreFun · 31/01/2019 13:52

I think it's the MN algorithms. These days when I click on 'Active' or Discussions of the Day a huge number of posts are from AIBU which is viper saloon. It's easy to think this is what the whole place is like. But you can find all sorts of lovely corners from gardening and craft to bujo wankers, there's people cheering eachother on in penguin huddles for Dry Jan, or to complete C25K or stick to wieghtloss/declutteirng plans. And the MH bards are always full of kind souls who take care of others when going through a hard time.

I think the whole nature of MN would seem to have transformed if they just axed AIBU from their algorithms and let some of the quirkier, kinder corners float to the top of the searches.

insecure123 · 31/01/2019 13:53

yup! It can be a very brutal and horrible place. One minute you read something uplifting and all "independent women, lets support each other" then jump over onto another thread and posters are ripping each other (and others) to pieces

It's quite disgusting actually

I have recieved some fantastic support on here I must admit and never been a "victim" to it yet but some of what I read I am completely gobsmacked!

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 31/01/2019 13:58

I don't notice much direct nastiness to OPs..if anything, there seems to be the opposite. Lots of agreeing with OPs no matter how U they are being etc.
What has definitely increased is the ignorant hate spouted at various social groups on here. Particularly the elderly.
A poster the other day bigging up her thug of a partner for telling an old man to fuck off etc for complaining that the Yob Family were running riot in a restaurant. The user base just seems to have become much more grabby, shouty, entitled and yes, thick as shit sounding.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 31/01/2019 14:01

I agree also with Schuyler. People need to stop engaging with the trolls asking about shit, piss and your teenage dd's cycle.

Fairenuff · 31/01/2019 14:13

Also people need to stop buying in to all the so called 'cheeky fucker' threads where the OP is giving all their time/money/property to someone. Sometimes they are amusing but lots of people seem to get a bit overinvested.

Also pages and pages of posts after the OP of a thread has stopped posting. People still asking for updates or answers or giving their advice. The OP has fucked off because they were probably trolling in the first place yet people get more and more irate with them Grin

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 31/01/2019 15:22

Absolutely!
The CF thread writers get carried away by their own popularity and the fact they've (probably not really) made someone spill their tea. And then it gets embarrassing. I doubt many of the subsequent updates are real.
The one before Christmas with the poster apparently sticking Santa signs all over her neighbour's parking space was pathetic. One poster dared to question that maybe he needed the space because of disability and then the whole of MN joined in with egging on the OP with her stupid practical jokes. (If they were real, which tbf they probably weren't) I expect it's in classics with all the other made up rubbish.

mrsmuddlepies · 31/01/2019 15:34

I was shocked this week when a thread with someone complaining about her MIL, was full of posters urging her to gas light the MIL into thinking she had Alzheimers. Full of suggestions about leaving leaflets around and doing things to make her think she was losing her mind. To be fair the OP said she would never consider such a cruel course of action. Can you imagine a someone trying to convince another woman that she had breast cancer or some other life limiting condition?
It's like the revenge threads which are always really cruel and nasty. It makes me wonder how some posters can be so malevolent and spiteful.
Vipers, speaking up for other women and fighting wrong, is great. Spiteful and nasty makes me want to distance myself from MN.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 31/01/2019 16:18

Bloody hell mrsmuddle that's awful.
I seem to miss a lot of these threads thankfully.

PeggySuehadababy · 31/01/2019 16:24

I partially agree with what you say, there are some particularly nasty posters on AIBU. But the other boards are lovely, and so helpful, I go a lot on Style and Beauty.

I think there are some who only join this board to stir crap, and others who are trolls. Some people tend to be really nasty online, especially when they can remain anonymous; I left a facebook group because the admin and moderators were horrible to the users, and really insulting them (worse than MN, and it's a fashion group so nothing controversial).

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 31/01/2019 16:34

I am a bit bitchy myself probably I hate it when people take very petty mean swipes at each other. Was reading a thread this morning and someone had replied to another poster asking about her "uni" experience by saying that she went to "university", uni is a chav word. Get really fed up of that sort of pettiness & putting the boot in! No need for it and you just look like a smug bully.

Original poster
BeMorePollyAnna · 31/01/2019 16:44

I don't think you can blame the algorithms OneStepMoreFun. Yes, AIBU is renowned for VERY blunt posts but there's no excuse for personal insults (too many people calling other people twats) and the kind of abuse I received not long ago for daring to disagree with something related to charity.

OP posts:
shadypines · 31/01/2019 17:00

Totally agree OP and it's a shame for posters who come on here to:-

1)Ask a question and try and get some info
2) Just want some pleasant chat/banter
3) Have a problem they want help with
4) Want to have a laugh/joke

Whichever of these threads you choose to start or answer you will invariably come across the poster who is dusting off their boxing gloves. I've been bashed in a fair few threads and the ones who obviously do not read the thread title, let alone the thread are by far the worst because you know you haven't got a cat in hell's chance of getting anywhere with them.

Not sure what's going on but social media in general and the whole glut of nasty TV (soaps and dramas) I'm sure don't help. When I was young TV was a pick and mix of great comedy....I think we could do with some instead of the constant murder and mayhem we get fed these days.

Accountant222 · 31/01/2019 17:04

Yes I agree, don't comment on Brexit unless you a rabid and fervent remainder, who believes it will never happen, you get handed your arse on a plate

Nampoo · 31/01/2019 17:24

I think trolls have made a large amount of posters angry/defensive but it isn't fair when someone posts or gives an opinion and is insulted, on occasion quite unfairly.
I'm sure being on the receiving end of some of this nastiness can make someone read more into some posts than the way they were intended, especially if it follows someone else's nasty comments or trolling.

Severide08 · 31/01/2019 18:01

I am relatively new and tend to read AiBU more than the others. I am pretty direct but i always try to put it in a way that is not going to come across as meant in a nasty way. I will say i have read some threads and thought wow that is harsh no need for that how about some empathy instead .Of course people are going to disagree that is life but do it in a way that is not personal .We dont know what is going on in someone's life so i can get why some op's give up on the post and dont come back .But on the other hand i have read threads that have been kind and supportive .

shadypines · 31/01/2019 21:28

you'll always sell more tickets for the ghost train than the 'hook a duck'.

Can't believe I'm 52 and never heard this saying, it's now one of my faves! Thanks Headinhands!

headinhands · 31/01/2019 21:35

@shadypines It's great isn't it?! I got it from the wonderful and gorgeous James O’Brien.

TrudeauGirl · 31/01/2019 21:39

One if my first posts was about to fear of smear tests. Most people were very supportive. However I got accused of being a troll who was saving material for a "Wank Bank" and then a couple of people jumped on that and accused me too.

Obviously I was not a troll but this hurt my feelings as I was terrified about my smear and then had people accusing me of being a troll Sad

chordFire · 31/01/2019 21:42

I think it goes through peaks and troughs.

Hellomatey001 · 31/01/2019 21:55

Agree.

I also get annoyed at the vitriol reserved for new mums and their "precious fookin baby" threads. This is a forum for mums so questions from new mums should be part and parcel.

A while ago a new mum posted on AIBU about a child approaching her baby and how scared she was that the child was going to hit her baby.

She was slaughtered, insulted, name called, belittled for thinking her baby was "SO precious!!" . She clearly had anxiety issues but AIBU told her to fuck off.

Really upset me how cruel posters were and how some relished kicking her. With so many new mums suffering from post natal depression and anxiety, it was bloody awful to see posters make no consideration for others whatsoever.

headinhands · 31/01/2019 22:03

@TrudeauGirl you see people calling troll a lot and you think you're missing something others can see but you can't. But then you start a thread and oh my god when it happens to you, you're laughing but hurt!

headinhands · 31/01/2019 22:04

But soon quickly thought 'fuck 'em, fuck 'em all!' As we don't actually know each-other.

PositivelyPERF · 31/01/2019 22:09

Yes I agree, don't comment on Brexit unless you a rabid and fervent remainder

I assume you really didn’t think that through? Talking about how insulting remainers are, while calling them rabid. Grin