To think MN really is becoming a nest of vipers

[BeMorePollyanna]

Name changed

I reported 4 posts yesterday eve, all of which were deleted. I wasn't on the threads concerned just browsing through them. That's more than I reported in the last 6 months I think. I was also on the receiving end of stupid comments this week because someone CBA to read the thread and decided I'd said something I hadn't.

I know this subject has been covered previously but am I alone in thinking MN has become increasingly unpleasant lately? There seems to be real spite and nastiness.

And twitter....

onlyjoined I'm aware of the irony of illustrating that everyone is fair game . It is a kind of sport for some people to be harsh online though, a kind of modern day bear baiting. I was half joking about DM commentators, of course some of them will be very pleasant people, and they haven't all joined MN! And the less intelligent posts on MN aren't necessarily from DM journos in disguise either.

The site's been growing continuously though, has it not? More users means more of everything - more support, more bitchiness, more expertise, more ignorance. And where you're spending your time and what you're attuned to can easily shape what you notice.

A larger community does also loosen the 'social contract' somewhat because it's harder to exact consequences for misbehaviour.

We aren't far off sparkly tickers

What is a sparkly ticker?

Tickers across the top, flashing adverts

Oh i misread as Sparkly Tickler, i wouldn't mind one of those. I find the name changing tiresome and i like to spot names i know and give a wave.

I don't think the constant adverts in a certain newspaper help. It's a particular type of post that is used to draw in a particular type of new poster. I never understand why people think that our posts are being 'stolen' - surely most people realise that it is the website operator who owns the copyright to all the posts and that it is they who are choosing to allow/sell publication elsewhere for publicity/traffic?

I notice they have the toilet brush in the dishwasher post on their website today!

I've been here under various guides for years, but recently I feel there has been a noticeable increase in people who for whatever reason go for the jugular in what are obviously harmless, chatty or jocular threads.
I've seen several in the last week where I have thought what a knob, why would you be so shitty.

I think a lot of the harsher, more aggressive posters wouldn't say boo to a goose IRL.

Whereas I'm a lot more outspoken IRL, I tend to edit how I word replies on here carefully now.

Half the time I delete the reply I wrote to some obvious nastiness, roll my eyes, report and move on!

I've noticed that when anyone posts a new thread on AIBU it isn't worth reading the first page as the lurking trolls/men with issues in disguise/journals in disguise/bitches, jump straight on it with their nasty comments. I do wonder what they do all day if they can be the first ones to respond to a new thread. What a shit existence.

There are also some very funny and compassionate people posting on here and I'm happy to comment when there is more of that. I think if someone is asking if they are being taken for granted, I don't think it helps to call them an idiot, but for some they seem to take pleasure in it.

Definitely is suffering from irony bypass recently. Where has everyone with a sense of humour gone to? I used to rely on at least one topic to make me laugh. Now it seems to be peopled by those desperate to take offence and feel slighted whether intended or not. Dreary.

A nest of vipers is exactly how I described it to my partner the other day.

Some parts are lovely and so supportive but I also find it really fucking nasty in places.
There's also a lot of judgment and small-mindedness. It's a shame because it's such a good resource and community.

I know I can be somewhat too direct sometimes, which doesn't always translate well onto the page, but I don't think I've ever called someone a twat, for example. I don't fanny around too much with my words but I think I could be gentler sometimes.

As an aside, there are a lot more very dull threads on here lately too - it seems that no-one's husband ever does anything around the home...

Longway I agree - I wish I could think of something funny but I'm useless..

In my parallel existence I have received much support and kindness though, as Watcher said.

longwayoff Dreary and tiresome at times innit.
but there are some good corners....

i imagine these fools who jump on everything with zero empathy are absoulte loser in RL. sorry just my opinion!!

*It also seems that nobody allows for the fact that humans make mistakes, and everyone is unreasonable sometimes; instead if you exhibit one lapse in judgement you’re clearly a terrible person with no moral compass and no prospect of personal growth

Yes, this too. Sometimes the op is being unreasonable, but rather than explaining why in a polite way, with the awareness that everyone screws up sometimes, it becomes open season to administer a good kicking to someone who is already often a bit upset, because, they've done something wrong and therefore deserve it. There's a really nasty self righteous streak to it all.*

This. What is also bad patter is those posters who will search previous posts and quote you on them, often linking that thread.

I use MN to soundboard as I know I'm going to get honest answers and some of the time I get pointed in the direction of some great resources. This place was great I was trying to deal with alcoholism in my family and for that I'm very grateful.

If I suspect IABU I do expect a flaming, it's AIBU after all, but some posters do indeed to be quite vitriolic in their responses.

Bold fail above!

Although . . . Sparky tickler excellent, thank you.

it's also the fact that not everybody has the same level of intelligence. Some posters appeared very nasty simply because they are not very bright. They are mean, but if you knew them in real life, you wouldn't take them seriously because you'd know there's no point.

I’ve only really recently come back to mn after not posting for a few years (10 ) and there are way more troll threads than there were back then.
I remember some absolutely cracking threads as well - really funny stuff.
I’m glad I came back though, I’ve had some really good advice and I enjoy reading the more light hearted threads. Don’t recognise anybody! Although I’m sure mostly everyone has either stopped posting or name changed like me.
I keep reading stuff about a penis beaker?!

I'd still rather live in a nest of vipers than a nest of artificially scented lavender fluff, though. Mind, I acknowledge it's a lot easier for me to say that as someone who is not - currently - physically or emotionally vulnerable.

I also wonder how much gender expectations about women being 'nice' play into this. What are forums populated mainly by men like when they think someone is BU?

Agreed. I've also noticed that when one person lays into an OP in an aggressive manner, you get dozens of others joining in.

I blame dry January/ skint January and just January really.

What is also bad patter is those posters who will search previous posts and quote you on them, often linking that thread.

Or they NC, search your posts and start posting nasty comments on each thread you are on. I had to NC recently due to one of these people and I really liked that name too