To think MN really is becoming a nest of vipers

[BeMorePollyanna]

Name changed

I reported 4 posts yesterday eve, all of which were deleted. I wasn't on the threads concerned just browsing through them. That's more than I reported in the last 6 months I think. I was also on the receiving end of stupid comments this week because someone CBA to read the thread and decided I'd said something I hadn't.

I know this subject has been covered previously but am I alone in thinking MN has become increasingly unpleasant lately? There seems to be real spite and nastiness.

It's been a next of vipers for years and years. Hasn't really changed as far as I can see.

Even threads like this one come up regularly year in year out.

It's not really getting worse, it's always been like this. People used to be directed to Nethuns ---->

And there's less humour. If you want a good laugh on here lately you have to search through classics

Yes! I actually said to DD just a few days ago "Can you remember years ago I used to laugh until I was crying at something on Mumsnet? Something made me laugh like that today!" Even that had a link in to something in Classics and wasn't new humour

I think it’s becoming awful and I think I will leave actually.

I think I agree - used to rather roll my eyes at "this place is so nasty!" posts, but I have recently noticed threads getting very vituperative very quickly. Stakes seem to get high quickly, too - someone in the situation has to be a "massive CFer who I'd never speak to again", whether OP or SIL, or boss, or DH, or waitress. We seem to have fewer threads where the consensus is that it's a bloody difficult situation and no-one comes of out it perfectly, or that someone was rather unfair but they couldn't have foreseen what would result, etc...

I think YABU, it's always been like this, we've always been known as a nest of vipers.

It's a Russian troll farm designed to make you question your relationship with reality

That's how I read it anyway

I've been on MN for around 5 or 6 years and I don't think it's ever been this bad. Of course there are the daft and very boring threads on here and also twatty ones, and yes I know this topic has come up before but the level of unnecessary viciousness seems to have risen several notches.

It also seems that nobody allows for the fact that humans make mistakes, and everyone is unreasonable sometimes; instead if you exhibit one lapse in judgement you’re clearly a terrible person with no moral compass and no prospect of personal growth

Yes, this too. Sometimes the op is being unreasonable, but rather than explaining why in a polite way, with the awareness that everyone screws up sometimes, it becomes open season to administer a good kicking to someone who is already often a bit upset, because, they've done something wrong and therefore deserve it. There's a really nasty self righteous streak to it all.

I find this a surprising thread because in my opinion it's gone completely the other way. We aren't far off sparkly tickers!

I think the helpful and supportive posts still heavily outnumber the trolls and vipers, OP! And often, if someone does post something unkind and bullying - especially to an OP who is vulnerable, eg depressed or suffering domestic abuse - everyone piles in to tell them off and support the OP.
I’ve seen a lot of very good advice given, and references to helpful books or contact numbers for support organisations, etc. MN is a huge resource of knowledgeable and experienced people who can be relied on to help with a variety of problems, from the very minor such as a lost recipe, to the life threateningly major, such as violent partners. Don’t give up on it, be part of the solution - as you have already, in reporting trolls and so on.

I joined MN around 18 months ago and I think it has got slightly nastier and dumber during that time. It could be due in part to Daily Mail readers joining, DM commenters are generally nasty, especially when comments are directed at women

It's a mixed bag I think. Some lovely supportive bits. And others not so much.

I agree though about certain posters latching on to one irrelevant bit of a post and berating the op endlessly about it. Awful. And an increased inability to see another person's pov without being rude or sarcastic, but that's mirroring society as a whole I think , as public discourse becomes ever more polarised/hyperbolic.

The saddest thing though is when kindness , something said with genuine good intent, is viewed with suspicion and labelled "virtue signalling" or "sanctimonious".

Binting

Oh the irony

There was a post at the weekend, I think, asking for acts of kindness.

Was like a breath of fresh air, OP.

Actually Babdoc you've made some very good points there. On reflection my assessment of Mnsnet was overly negative.

I agree

I accidentally pressed on Last on the AIBU board so it took me right to the start of it , no idea how many years ago, cannot remember.
AIBU was not the viper nest it can be Today that's for sure .

I know people are not always going to agree, that's humans for you, but there is no need for the spitefulness of some and the superior attitude they put across (meant or unmeant) and those whom talk to the OP as if they are cross examining her in a court of Law really manage to wind me up .

vituperative

Had never seen this word before. I read loads as well! 😁

It also depends on which boards you frequent.
AIBU ,relationships and a few others are inundated with bridge dwellers who can't wait to stick the boot in .

There are many ,many people on other boards who are full of kindness and go out of their way to support people they don't know in real life , and can say this from my own personal experience.

MN has plummeted of late, there are a nasty bunch of Vipers that seem to upset many threads, just because they want attention .

I've been on and off MN for years. Has always been thus.
Nasty posts get moderated and most people are alright, but many don't sugar coat their comments. The robustness of discussion is one of its many charms.

we've always been known as a nest of vipers

It doesn't feel like a nest of vipers anymore. There used to be posters challenging where as now there's a lot of down right unpleasant.

I completely agree about the quality of debate. I'm really careful about what I post, yet frequently find it twisted. There's often a complete refusal to address points raised and inability to concede other posters might just have a valid viewpoint. The tendency towards name calling and childish ganging up on some threads is pretty frustrating.

I don't think it's becoming anything. Posters were already complaining about the exact same thing a few years ago.

It's not new, but it doesn't mean there are some horrible trolls on here! I don't know if people have such a sad life they try to feel better by putting others down, or if they think it's funny, but some are just vile.

Yeah it was def cliquey in the past (i've been here 10 years of so) but there are so many posters jumping down others' throats it puts you off bothering to post. It has just got too big.
As others have said there are some lovely corners tho....

the clique has moved to reddit where they can be even more bitchy

The frequent name-changed have made the place more bearable, people no longer believe in "MN royalties" whatever the heck that was supposed to be.