To think DH needs to make arrangements for SS in case I go into labour

[AliceRR]

I am 38 week’s pregnant.

My first child.

DH has his son (age 14) every other weekend. We had him this weekend so next time is in a fortnight.

My due date is two weeks today.

I realise baby can realistically come any time in the next four weeks (?)(not sure how long I would be allowed to go over, maybe to 42 weeks?) but next weekend with DH son is the only weekend we are due to have him when there is a good chance baby could come if hasn’t arrived already.

He lives with his mother full time in a other city so PU or DO takes 1.5 hours minimum round trip. DH always does pick ups and drop offs. His mother has done it occasionally. I do it sometimes if DH can’t but not often as I don’t really like motorway driving.

If I go into labour before he arrives that weekend that will probably just mean DH cannot pick him up at the normal time.

But if we have him and I go into labour then what?

It’s my first child so I don’t really know what to expect but these are my concerns...

When I go into labour I’ll probably be in labour at home for a while and I don’t think I’d want anyone else there for that other than DH. I wouldn’t want my mother there let alone a teenage boy. I don’t think he’d want to be there either (I wouldn’t want to be if I was him!)

DH doesn’t have family nearby who could take step son to theirs or to his mother’s

I won’t want to be left alone I imagine although maybe I won’t mind in the early stages?? Don’t know what to expect!

When we go to the hospital we’d be there a while and realistically I will need DH to be there for me and it will be difficult for both of us if he is worry about his son who would most likely be home alone for 12-24 hours plus (I assume)? I also don’t think he would want to be waiting in the hospital with us.

I just think DH needs to have a plan for it I go into labour e.g. someone to pick him up and take him out or the house or drop him off to his mum’s. I think he is a bit disorganised and has thought things through and I am a worrier and this is just something I’m worried about eg I’m leaving you alone in labour for two hours now as I need to drop my son off home as his mother is busy...

The *OP has said a lot, it is not that he cannot 'make' cereal or toast. He doesn't eat. I would guess he is so engrossed in a computer game he doesn't want to leave the room.

Anyway, it's not the issue. It is not really about the lad. It is about the OP getting the attention she needs.

AliceRR That sounds like a good plan. Just a small idea, would your dh like to suggest they go out and buy a small gift for the baby that dss could bring down when he visits (and dh pay)?

Our second child was adopted so dd was actually 9 when we met her little brother. We got a toy for her to give to him. We did plan very carefully (as you do with adoption) about the first meeting, first outing etc.

@Italiangreyhound Thanks. Yes I think DH will do something like that. He already has to some degree as the first thing he bought for baby they went together.

It’s pretty rediculous that he can’t quickly learn to catch the train or make himself a basic bowl of cerial or some toast.

I asked DH to think about what we’d do if someone need to watch SS at short notice or whatever and he and his ex (my stepson’s parents) have come up with a solution. My DH doesn’t decide lightly not to have his son nor does his ex suggest is so they must have had their reasons. Perhaps they asked my stepson and that’s what he said he preferred.

Italiangreyhound

I would imahine the OP would take responsibiluty for her own child and wish her ex well. Or at least I hope she would. *
Why speak of a woman you know nothing of*

Perplexing that I can't comment without being scolded for it.

Keep scrolling and tap your finger at everyone else who dares to comment!

Italiangreyhound I think you are being completely reasonable and giving someone the benefit of the doubt is clearly entirely different from assuming the worst and then attacking them for it 🤔🙂

*Italiangreyhound
*
The op posted this is morning then said she messaged DP and he replied he had already spoken to the ex about it and made arrangements. That why I said communication is key.

commonsenseisnotcommon yes I am moaning a lot. i know. Sorry but I just feel very sad on behalf of a women who is about to go into labour and is being told off for not putting her step son first.

i guess I can't quite believe how many people have nasty things to say about this. I suppose I am shocked. Because when I had my first baby people were really nice to me. But it sees that here, on mumsnet the OP is getting a hard time.

commonsenseisnotcommon

"The op posted this is morning then said she messaged DP and he replied he had already spoken to the ex about it and made arrangements. That why I said communication is key."

Then I apologize for being rude, I can be somewhat zealous, I know.

@Italiangreyhound

I don’t think you were being rude and I read it all the way you did. I appreciate the support.

I haven't read the full thread sorry (have read half!) but I'm getting annoyed at some of the responses! You seem to be asking, would it be sensible for DH to chat to SS and his mum to see if he can stay home / go back home if you go into labour on his weekend with you, since that would probably be more comfortable for both you and SS.

My answer would be, YANBU, yes your DH should definitely do that!! Yes of course SS could be at yours while you're labouring / trail around the hospital for hours if he absolutely had to, but I'd imagine both you and SS would rather avoid that! Good luck OP.

Thanks AliceRR good luck.

Thanks @DisappearingGirl @Italiangreyhound and thanks again all x