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Original poster

To go back to this house?

496 replies

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:33

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

OP posts:
flugelhorn811 · 27/01/2019 07:38

Ugh don't mess about the new vendors like that, it happened to us and it's a horrible, selfish thing to do. You made your decision and you need to deal with the consequences. I'm surprised you didn't challenge the kitchen issue further, surely you could have negotiated a large reduction in price if he really was removing the kitchen?! As everyone has said, that is usually included unless otherwise stated.

flugelhorn811 · 27/01/2019 07:39

New buyers I meant!

Highonthehill · 27/01/2019 07:41
  1. Go back and put in an offer higher than asking price with explanation as to why you Pulled out originally. High possibility it will be declined.
  1. Keep looking, house will come up eventually. Market tends to go quiet around now anyway and with brexit people may be waiting.
  1. Sell up and rent for a few months until something comes up, realistically the only change in spend is paying rent instead of mortgage but if you speak to a FA you should be able to gain some sort of interest off your house sale money while you look for another property.

If you really want to move and with the points from option 2 I think number 3 would be best for you at the moment

rainbowstardrops · 27/01/2019 07:43

Well this is all terribly odd.

As far as I can see, you've got two choices. Either rent in the area that you want to be in until a suitable property becomes available or put up and shut up about the house you're currently in.
Don't be a dick and gazzump his new buyers. That's just nasty.
You sound very dramatic and almost like a child who's stamping their feet because they can't get their own way.
I bet your DH is exhausted with it all!

FiveShelties · 27/01/2019 07:45

Are you in the UK?

Charlie97 · 27/01/2019 07:46

Ok I think you're out of order to try to gazzump but do not buy this house because you're desperate. Many many years ago me and OH bought a house because it was a bargain. We hated it and it was back on the market in six months, we were miserable there, can't say why but we were. We looked at a house that needed work and was not such a bargain but we both instantly had a different feeling about the house. We are still here 28 years later and happy.

A home is different to a house and our second place was a home, you're buying because you're desperate. Don't do it!

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 27/01/2019 07:46

Sorry I'm still not following - you don't really explain yourself. Just reply in short petulant answers.
I think you've lost this house through your own stupidity by not following it up with your solicitor (if you even had one!). If you considered him 'to be ruining your house' then surely you'd legally be fighting it rather than just pulling out. When you advertise a property you're advertising what's in it (obv not furniture unless previously agreed) so you would have had grounds to pursue the kitchen being removed.
I don't really know what help you want from here as everything you're arguing against.
I think you just need to suck up your bad decision. Still don't get why your OH is pissed off as surely he had a say in the decision to pull out?

starabara · 27/01/2019 07:46

The bigger problem here is why you are TTC with a man you aren’t talking to, and when you do try, neither of you can stay calm enough not to scream!

You are so far from rational here. It wasn’t even “your” house to feel “angry” about when you lost your rag and cut your nose off to spite your face.

This is ludicrous; there’s definitely options here.

DianaT1969 · 27/01/2019 07:47

Continue with the sale of your house. You'll be an attractive buyer in a position to move fast.
Either pay rent on a place you are happy in for the next 6 months, or a mortgage and interest on a place you really hate. Not a hard decision.
So you might finish paying a mortgage off when you're 57 years old instead 56. Big deal.

countrygirl99 · 27/01/2019 07:48

If you end up renting you will be in a position to proceed quickly with no chain so you are more likely to have a lower offer accepted. Especially if Brexit kills the market for a while.

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 07:50

Not sure where the moral duty to his new buyers comes from. Given how badly we've been shafted here!

Not renting- DH categorically will not agree to that. It's taken me five years to persuade him to move! He's financially cautious to say the least.

I need to be in a particular area for work, as well as family, friends, school etc. We MIGHT get our kids into the school we want staying here.

I want to be able to go to the shop at night on foot, not have to listen to fights at night, not have stuff nicked at the local toddler group...

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 27/01/2019 07:51

*I can't see any way out here

Not renting. DH would never agree to it

Then stay where you are with the crackheads and the main road and all the other problems you list.

I think you have tunnel vision. You can only see this one estate as a potential place to live. I can guarantee that there are a huge area of possibilities that would be equally suitable you have just got yourself into an all or nothing scenario and the way it is going I think you will end up with nothing.

FWIW I would not have gone ahead with the purchase. If he was removing the kitchen and the floor collapsed I would be worried the surveyor had missed something or the owner had done some structural damage.

Look at it as a lucky escape and sell yours so you are in a position to move at a moments notice.

Say something else does come up in the future and you then can’t sell yours?

FiveShelties · 27/01/2019 07:52

How have you been shafted? Surely that is what you did to the owner of the house??

Charlie97 · 27/01/2019 07:52

Not sure where the moral duty to his new buyers comes from. Given how badly we've been shafted here!

You pulled out, they've put an offer in and it's been accepted.

Is the property now being sold for less?

anotherwearytraveller · 27/01/2019 07:54

You sound very childish

I can’t decide if your DH not talking to you is a proportionate response to your drama or if he’s as bad as you are

Yes moving it stressful but if it causes this drama I think you should stay put

Tbh you sound like someone who will never be happy anyway

HeronLanyon · 27/01/2019 07:55

Don’t gazzump those who have bought the house you gave up. Really shitty behaviour but you don’t seem to think about anyone else ???
If I were you I’d contact those estate agents to register continued interest of the sale falls through for any reason. Then rent if you can afford tonwithout eroding your deposit savings (well done btw) and/or just keep looking
Definitely try not to be so dramatic about hiccup - happens all the time - you lost a house you walked away
From. Move on. (I do know it’s stressful but you really have to pick yourself up)

Silvercatowner · 27/01/2019 07:55

Given how badly we've been shafted here

But it was you who pulled out???

greendale17 · 27/01/2019 07:56

Not sure where the moral duty to his new buyers comes from. Given how badly we've been shafted here!

^You shafted yourself. No one to blame here but you.

nottakingthisanymore · 27/01/2019 07:56

I lived in a place you describe. It was horrendous- fights, drugs etc. If we had six figure savings we’d have been out much quicker than we were. Took three years of extra jobs, scrimping and saving to scrape together what we needed to move.

There is no way I would accept your offer after pulling out before and having been gazumped in the past your proposed course of action is mean.

Rent.

Oliversmumsarmy · 27/01/2019 07:56

Not renting- DH categorically will not agree to that. It's taken me five years to persuade him to move! He's financially cautious to say the least

But if he is financially cautious isn’t it financially imprudent to own a house in a very rough area which is probably going to not go up in price as much as one on a nice safe estate.

Also why is he putting a price on yours and your children’s safety.

I think you have more problems than just a house

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/01/2019 07:57

As I said you don’t need your dh to agree to the rental. Ok well then wallow in your shit and stay where you are. You’ve obviously decided to stamp your feet and want want want. This will get you precisely nothing. You’ve been shafted by the vendor, not the new buyer.

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 08:01

I'm not getting divorced!

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 27/01/2019 08:01

I don’t understand how you’re framing this as an ongoing scenario rather than two separate ones. Pulling out ended any obligation between either of you. By all means approach him but neither of you owe each other anything and the new buyer has the rights morally here.

I’m presuming that pulling out was a mutual decision between you and your dh so don’t accept ‘blame’, it’s pointless anyway. Your realistic options are wait or rent while you wait. Third wild card is to expand your requirements and widen your search area.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 27/01/2019 08:03

Not sure where the moral duty to his new buyers comes from. Given how badly we've been shafted here!

Well, isn’t this quite the steaming pile of goady fuckery? Hmm

SpeedyBojangles · 27/01/2019 08:04

You could try. But if I was the vendor I wouldn't even entertain the idea after you already pulled out once.

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