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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go back to this house?

496 replies

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:33

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

OP posts:
flowery · 27/01/2019 06:58

Ok so if the floor collapsed, presumably either you renegotiate to ensure the floor can be fixed, or you pull out. You chose to pull out.

Is the floor fixed now or something? Struggling to see why something which was dealbreaking and worth losing money to avoid is now acceptable to you?

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:59

No, it was immaculate and no sign of a dog before that.

OP posts:
CaramelCluster · 27/01/2019 06:59

@trapped2019 very hard to believe there is nothing else....With savings and good income. I think you're at an emotional place at the moment, but once you've thought about it you'll realise the housing market is still going, houses going up daily so watch this space

sdaisy26 · 27/01/2019 06:59

Well if I were the vendor I’d be telling you to jog on after you’d already pulled out once. But, legally, there’s nothing stopping you going back to him so you can but try.

There are always other houses though.

What about completing on your sale and renting for a bit in the new area?

You also need to be prepared that most houses look a bit in need of love once furniture etc has been removed. Sounds like maybe you acted a bit hastily last time. Very few houses are really ‘perfect’.

JenniferJareau · 27/01/2019 06:59

Renting is dead money.

Maybe but it would get you out of the area so may well be worth the spend for peace of mind and less stress when ttc?

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 07:00

I have no idea what state it's in now. I don't care. I just want it back.

OP posts:
ItsMEhooray · 27/01/2019 07:00

You and DH are both being a bit over dramatic. Sit down and talk about your options properly which are

  1. renting (this isn't dead money if you still own and are renting out the house you live in now)
  2. waiting for something to come up
  3. looking at somewhere else to live.
Tiredismymiddlename85 · 27/01/2019 07:00

Odd that he's selling the house but removing the kitchen - white goods yes but nothing else. I don't actually think he can do that as the house was being advertised with a working kitchen.

Dog poo - grim but aesthetics.

Has he accepted your offer?

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 07:00

Tried that, ended up screaming at each other.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 27/01/2019 07:01

Renting is dead money

Not if it gets you out of a miserable situation and allows you to proceed with the sale of your house.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 27/01/2019 07:02

*Had not has

FiveShelties · 27/01/2019 07:02

So how many weeks from immaculate to dirty, floors collapses and dog poo?

Ullupullu · 27/01/2019 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EarthboundMisfit · 27/01/2019 07:04

Well that does sound awful...and possibly not even legal to remove the kitchen. I was angry enough that my house got an iron shaped burn mark in the carpet between viewing and moving in.

I understand how stressed you are, but your pulled out for a reason, it was the right decision at the time as you saw it. You need to let it go.

FlagFish · 27/01/2019 07:04

I agree with others. Find somewhere to rent in the area you like, then you can proceed with the sale of your current house and wait for something else to come up. Loads of people do this to make themselves into more attractive buyers - you'll be able to move very quickly when you do find something as you won't be part of a chain.

CoastalLife · 27/01/2019 07:05

Given how strongly you seem to feel about all of this and how dispairing you are of your situation, it would seem that renting would not be "dead money" at all. It would surely be money well spent if it's the only way (in the short term at least) to ensure a good school for your child and to allow you to try for a second baby. It sounds easily affordable to you. You're certainly not trapped with six figures in the bank.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 27/01/2019 07:07

I have no idea what state it's in now. I don't care. I just want it back.

You're coming across a little childish. Your OH surely had a say in you pulling out unless you went behind his back? I don't really get your whole thread as you're not answering peoples questions.
You say everything depended on this house but it obviously didn't as you pulled out for really strange reasons. If you'd made an offer and he had accepted then he wouldn't have been allowed to start ripping stuff out and you would have been able to negotiate the floor being fixed, that's why you have a solicitor!

CastleCrasher · 27/01/2019 07:09

This all seems very strange. So many questions..
Why was he removing the kitchen? (it's usually included)
Why did removing the kitchen cause the flour to collapse?
Where was the shit - under the collapsed floor? How?
What's changed that you want the house now after pulling out?
Why can't you look at other houses in that area?

RLABC · 27/01/2019 07:09

If you want to give them a goid laugh tgen yes, go back to them and say you now definitely want to buy it (again!).

DrWhoLovesMe · 27/01/2019 07:10

Why was he removing the kitchen?
Live and learn op. Next time, think carefully, and if this happens confirm what the seller plans to do re repairs. He might have been planning to repair it clean up all along. If it took only a week to scrub up so it could be sold again, I doubt it was that serious a state.

okokokok · 27/01/2019 07:10

I am confused why you pulled out of the first house; if the floor collapsed (not really sure what that means) why didn't you try negotiate the price lower to have it fixed? The dog poo (while offputting) would surely not be an issue as they wouldn't be leaving the dog behind?

CinnabarRed · 27/01/2019 07:10

I was in a broadly similar position.

I went ahead with the sale of my old property, rented a house in the area I liked, and waited until the right new property cane up.

It was the best thing I could have done. The rent was worth every penny to move to where I wanted to be, and in the process I discovered some stuff about the new area that influenced the property I eventually bought (which roads keep moving in rush hour, the nicest cafes and shops, all those little facts you only find out when you live somewhere).

Seriously, the only thing trapping you in your frankly strange attitude to renting.

Please don’t behave like a twat to your purchasers, your former vendor, and his new purchasers.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/01/2019 07:13

I don't think anyone will be able to help you on here. You're clearly not in the right mood to be receptive to advice.

You'll need to get over your petulant mood to be able to move this forward.

Oliversmumsarmy · 27/01/2019 07:13

Sell the place you are in and rent somewhere in your preferred area or nearby just to get you out of the house you are in.

We are in a position that we are looking to sell and was scanning Rightmove for suitable places.
We have one specific requirement that is a dealbreaker for us after 3/4 beds 2 bathrooms, commuting distance etc and we have seen 3 places in the last couple of months come on the market and be sold the same day.
We know the only way to secure a place is to sell and have cash ready to go so will be going into rented.
I don’t consider it dead money as it is a necessity for 6 months and just part of the moving costs.

I know you have set your heart on a particular area but we are looking at places within a 15 mile area of a certain point. (Dps work)

There are certain areas we don’t like but if something we like the look of comes up we look at the area and do a bit of research online. We are very flexible on where we want to be.
There are great schools and transport links and shops in all different locations.

Original poster
trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 07:15

I have no idea why he was taking the kitchen. I think to sell on. How would I know?

I pulled out because I was angry that he was deliberately damaging our lovely house.

I am answering peoples questions.

OP posts:
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