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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go back to this house?

496 replies

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:33

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

OP posts:
Auntiepatricia · 27/01/2019 08:22

Renting isn’t dead money always. If you got to rent a new place, where you want to be, renting out your old place and the numbers balanced then it isn’t dead money. Some people even make a profit doing this. Look into it instead of rehashing stupid phrases like ‘renting is dead money’.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/01/2019 08:23

But you're not trapped, you're very lucky because you've sold!

pilates · 27/01/2019 08:24

This was all brought on by yourself. You chose to withdraw from the transaction without logically thinking it through. Of course you wouldn’t have been expected to buy a house where the floor has collapsed and you would stipulate the dog shit would need to be cleared before completion. Did you not talk it through with your agents/Solicitor? Get yourself in a better place before TTC.

Yulebealrite · 27/01/2019 08:24

Why didn't you try negotiating a lower price at the time?

He sounds morally dubious if he was pulling out the kitchen so he might go with you again if you can compete in a week. It might be worth asking.

But you'll be shafting the new people, which makes you as bad as him?

Sylvanianfamiliesnurseryset · 27/01/2019 08:25

Renting is dead money.

Haha I know. Just like food, clothing and heating. You get absolutely nothing out of it, oh apart from having your immediate physical needs met Hmm

Romanov · 27/01/2019 08:25

I need to be in a particular area for work, as well as family, friends, school etc. We MIGHT get our kids into the school we want staying here.

I want to be able to go to the shop at night on foot, not have to listen to fights at night, not have stuff nicked at the local toddler group.

You probably also want a house with a kitchen and flooring and no dog shit??

If you try and buy this house (possibly or most likely paying more) you will resent it, you will grow to hate it as it will not be bought from a happy place

You have 4 options

  1. stay where you are
  2. buy that house
  3. buy A house
  4. Rent

If you cannot talk about this without yelling at each other, you could write this down and give to your DH. I think you need to put off TTC though if you can't deal with this stress

Boredboredboredboredbored · 27/01/2019 08:25

Ffs you're being ridiculous!!!! You have two options

A. let the sale of your house go through and rent

B. Stay put and carry on being hysterical about something you could remedy (see A).

You won't get 'your' house back now you're too late. Move on.

RLABC · 27/01/2019 08:25

I'm trapped in a shit house But I thought that was what you're so desperate to buy now.... Confused

So, you went round to the house you were buying and the owner was in the middle of ripping out the kitchen and you didnt say anything? Or you did ask what he was doing and he denied it, even though you were there with him, surrounded by pulled out kitchen, collapsed flooring and ankle deep in dog shit. He denied it??

FiveShelties · 27/01/2019 08:25

Why would we report it? Far too entertaining😂

diddl · 27/01/2019 08:26

" Given how badly we've been shafted here!"

Oh Lordy, you are funny, Op.

IDismyname · 27/01/2019 08:28

OP - rather than sniping at MN posters who are TRYING TO HELP, try answering their questions!

PurpleFlower1983 · 27/01/2019 08:30

You did the right thing pulling out of the house with the dodgy seller, if he was taking out the kitchen who knows what other stunts he was trying to pull.

If you don’t want to rent, you need to stay put for a while and hope you keep your buyer or expand your horizons location wise.

6 months in a cheap rent really would be the best option here though.

Handprints2018 · 27/01/2019 08:30

Sounds like you are trapped in a bad marriage too if he gaslights you, yells at you and blames you for joint decisions. Why are you with someone like that let alone buying a house and ttc2?

Leave the first house. You both messed up there as you should have gone straight to your solicitor if he was ripping out a kitchen included in the contract. Now if he did accept it would only be at an increased price from yourself and given you are high risk buyers i doubt he will.

BookwormMe2 · 27/01/2019 08:30

Did you not ask the estate agent acting for the vendor why the hell he was taking the kitchen out, considering you were buying it as seen? What was their explanation? Have you gone back to them and ask if they have anything similar in the same area coming onto their books? You might find something even better.

I doubt the vendor will accept another offer from you though. Even though he was in the wrong with the kitchen, you walked away. What's to stop you doing that again if he removes something else not to your liking?

Ski4130 · 27/01/2019 08:30

Not sure where the moral duty to his new buyers comes from. Given how badly we've been shafted here!

No, you pulled out, the seller then sold the house to someone else. No one shafted you but yourself! If I were the seller I wouldn’t even take your call, much less gazump his new buyer for you.

pinkmagic1 · 27/01/2019 08:30

You were not meant to have the original house. Things happen for a reason and it sounds like it may have been a blessing in disguise, what with the floor falling through.
Is there a reason why you want to live on that particular estate? Could you look at other houses in surrounding areas? In your position I would book to see everthing that ticks most of your boxes, even if you don't initially like the look of it on rightmove. You might go in a house and get a really nice feeling for it, even if its not perfect on paper.

RLABC · 27/01/2019 08:30

OP I've no doubt that MNHQ could verify you being a longstanding poster. That doesn't mean to say that this thread is 100% accurate, I doubt many are.
As I suggested before, maybe try to get some sleep. You might see things differently after some rest.

Cornettoninja · 27/01/2019 08:31

I’m questioning what ‘ripping out the kitchen’ means here now, especially since he seems to have resolved that and a collapsed floor in such a short space of time.

looktothewesternsky · 27/01/2019 08:31

If you have 6 figures saved you'd hardly be "blowing all of your money" on renting. You're being very dramatic when you have a lot of options OP. Calm down, take a deep breath, count your blessings and rent for a couple of months.

HAMGina · 27/01/2019 08:31

our solicitor was utterly useless- had to point out who she was acting for at one point. If she's been able to offer some advice or guidance I might not have ended up down this hole

Again, would like to hear her side of the story on that one!

had to point out who she was acting for at one point

So what does this mean? ( I mean who even says that?)

She didn't do exactly as you commanded her? She was trying to point out your demands were unreasonable/unethical/illegal?

If she's been able to offer some advice or guidance I might not have ended up down this hole

Because this thread kind of shows that you're great at taking advice and guidance!

Still swerving the pertinent points .

But everything's someone else's fault eh OP?

You have no responsibility for your choices and actions now do you?

You say you have six figures in the bank and a house sale on top of that.

You make a mockery of people who really are trapped, it's offensive.

LIZS · 27/01/2019 08:35

You are overreacting. No life hinges on a single house move, there will be another house, maybe that one, maybe not, and you will find an alternative way to move forwards. It is not a good time for property market, Easter will see more come on to the market so you could rent short term. There must be more to this situation than having pulled out of one property transaction though (vendor sounds odd and would not trust him either). What other pressures do you feel under and how can you address those?

LemonGirl · 27/01/2019 08:36

You've probably had a lucky escape tbh.
If you found the house like that then you need to ask yourself what else is lurking behind a pretty facade.
We like you bought a pristine beautiful house- or so we thought on viewings. Then we moved in. Mud up walls, lots damaged, filth dirt and rubbish left everywhere. Damaged doors and walls - possibly from getting furniture out. Wall paper on walls upto where thier furniture had been. They had wallpaper around furniture so when we moved in there were huge patches of bare/different walls where all their furniture had been. Rotting meat in fitted bedroom wardrobes etc etc. It went on and on.
What we now know is we were sold a kipper. Every bit of DIY they did was an utter botch job. We are still finding shit 3 years on. The house was stunning upon viewing- we bought and chose a "finished" house because I'd been seriously ill and was still very weak.
It's been a nightmare and we've had huge solucitors bills trying to get it sorted.
I hate this house now absolutely despise it. We've obviously fixed it up to our standards but I feel like a fool, conned and kick myself mentally on a daily basis for being do dumb to have chosen this house.

Be glad you've got away from a probable house of horrors. More houses come onto the market in spring usually, some people may be desperate to move and waiting for Brexit to happen but will probably need/want to sell once whatever happens there happens. Youve got more chance of finding something new in the next 6 months tbh than you have had in the last 4 or 5 months.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 27/01/2019 08:36

OP I've no doubt that MNHQ could verify you being a longstanding poster

I have no doubt about that either - a long-standing poster would know exactly what reaction this thread and their petulant, snippy responses would get. Which I guess was the whole point.

Deadbudgie · 27/01/2019 08:37

Op quite frankly you’re sounding a bit deranged. Chil out sell your house it sounds awful. Be a bit more flexible on areas you’ll find something . In the meantime rent. It’s not dead money if it saves your sanity/marriage

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 27/01/2019 08:37

Poor you. Boo hoo hoo.
You come across as incredibly selfish and emotionally infantile. Please don’t top it off by having another child with someone you can barely talk to whilst “stuck” somewhere you hate. That’s a recipe for a disaster.

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