To go back to this house?

[trapped2019]

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

No, you're right - it's a smart move. Some people find TTC quite stressful but putting your house back on the market a few weeks before Brexit will take your mind off it nicely.

They're at liberty to find somewhere else.

That doesn't answer the question, do they know that you have pulled out of your purchase, that you are waiting to find another property?

You can't play with other people's lives like this.

Pulling out of the other house because it looked dirty, just before exchange, WOW! Grow the hell up!
You are buying the style of house, the room sizes, the layout, the area, the garden etc etc
You clean the house, you paint it, you make it yours.

The way you are feeling now is karma biting you on your backside and frankly you deserve it.

Grow up, be a decent human being and the universe will provide.

Jesus wept. What a drama queen. Do you make as much of a song and dance about everything else as you have this?

I agree that if the previous owner was taking out the kitchen then that’s madness. But the appropriate response would have been to make clear via your solicitor that it required to be reinstated or the price reduced as HE’D breached the agreement between you and THEN pulled out if that hadn’t happened.

I don’t know about everyone else but what I’m struggling to get my head round (besides the ludicrousness of you claiming to feel trapped in a shithole when you are clearly quite well off) is why this house, with its no kitchen, crumbling floor and dogshit everywhere is now the answer to your prayers.

I don’t think you’re morally obliged to your buyers in any way but if your house is so shit, you can’t bear to live there any more, and you need to move for schooling etc, makes renting until you find somewhere to buy a sensible option for your own sake, surely?

Are you ok OP? You don't sound ok.

On the off chance this is true, your thinking and logic are utterly deranged.

Do you have a job? I can't imagine what you're like to work with.

Of course you don’t have to rent out of a moral duty to your buyers (I would rent because a buyer in the hand is worth five in the bush) - but you can’t moan about your buyer shafting you for fees etc if you are about to do the same to yours.

And no your vendor has not shafted your buyers - your overreaction has.

Schmoobarb the previous owner was removing the integrated appliances (presumably to replace with others) and light fittings.

And then flatly denying it when tackled about it via estate agent.

I don't think I was unreasonable in pulling out.

Didn't you ask him what the hell he was up to at the time though?

the previous owner was removing the integrated appliances (presumably to replace with others) and light fittings.

Ah sorry I thought that he was taking the whole kitchen

That's what the OP sort of implied at first. It became clearer further down the thread.

It would have been a lot cheaper to buy a new dishwasher and lampshade though.

Depending on what a ‘collapsed’ floor means even that doesn’t cost that much to repair.

I've just skimmed through this. What I've got from it is....You pulled out. That was your decision. Now you want it back. It's sold to someone else. End of. Learn from it. Move on.

Wait for something else to come on the market like the rest of us adults would do. Be a grown up.

It could have been that one of the appliances had broken and he was replacing it with a second hand one rather than risk being sued for selling them an appliance that didn't work. But as the OP is being a bit vague about any of the conversations that were had after she caught him apparently red handed removing the 'integral appliances and lighting' we can't really know.

It should have been easy enough for the estate to ascertain the truth by going and looking, comparing original notes and photos etc.

Also trapped you have to take into consideration that it took you 5 years for your dh to agree to this move.

Whilst you say he is financially cautious if he won’t even consider renting when it is the most financially and emotionally prudent thing to do I don’t think he is that financially aware.

He would rather waste money paying a mortgage on a house that could plummet in value at any time and put his family through the crap of living on an estate where it isn’t safe to walk the streets than actually move to a safer area.

I think there is something more going on.

Why does your dh want to stay? Why has it taken him so long to agree to the move if it is such a shot hole?
Why is he so against renting in this situation?

How would you feel if you went out next week and either of you got attacked.

How would you feel if you don’t move and your dc grew up and became one of the smackheads hanging round the streets.

Knowing that you had a buyer and you could have moved.

OP, when you said "I hate living here. Main road, shit schools, smack heads fighting outside" and "I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home", did you mean it?

I suspect the OP is exaggerating both the awfulness of her current living situation and the awfulness of the house she pulled out of in a strop and is now regretting.

I'm not forcing our buyers to wait..,

Well they have the choice to either wait or pull out, so yes you are.

What a peach!

The idea of someone with 6 figure savings being trapped is actually laughable. Money doesn’t buy happiness but it buys choices. You’re CHOOSING your situation and have nobody to blame but yourself.

Anyone else wondering how such a hysterical and dense person managed to accumulate 100s of 1000s in savings?

OP you need to calm down, I think this has completely overwhelmed you.

You were right to pull out of the previous house if it was as described.

You need to do what is best for you. Don't worry too much about the new buyers but if you hated the house so much, get rid of it as sin as you can. In your position as you have no attachment to your existing house, I would sell & rent.

That puts you in a fantastic position when the perfect house comes up. I know what you are saying about dead money but it isn't really if the housing market goes down or there is more uncertainty in the market or it gets you your dream house.

Whatever you decide you need to take a deep breath and you and your husband need to work together to work out what you both want.

@trapped2019 - firstly I think you were right to pull out of the sale - if the vendor was willing to let you see the house in that condition, and for you to see the damage he was doing, imagine how much worse it would have been by the time you moved in! And I think you are right not to go back to the vendor either - why would you want to live in a house that you know has been full of dog shit, and damaged in the way you saw?

However, I do think your dh is wrong about renting being 'dead money' in this instance, as it would buy you some very valuable things:

1 - being able to complete the sale on your house - in the current market, having a buyer is not something to throw away - if you pull out of the sale now, who's to say whether you'd be able to find another buyer when you did find a property you wanted - especially with Brexit on the horizon.

2 - you get to sell now before any potential financial crisis after Brexit, which could have a negative impact on house prices.

3 - you could get away from your current area, which you hate (rightly, by the sound of things), and into a better area where you will be happier and feel safer.

4 - you could rent in the area where you want to buy, and get your child into your preferred school.

5 - you can take your time finding the right house, not just any house, whatever the condition (any port in a storm).

6 - when you do find a house, you will be cash buyers, chain free, which makes you very attractive to vendors, and might enable you to negotiate the price down - which could negate the cost of having to move twice.

And as others have said, as long as your rent and mortgage were broadly the same, you wouldn't be paying out more on a day to day basis - the main extra cost would be the second move (if you couldn't offset it by negotiating a better price when you buy), and even if you couldn't offset that cost, wouldn't it be worth it to buy yourself all those advantages I have listed, especially the peace of mind of living somewhere you feel safe and happy?

'Renting isn't dead money' aka the new 'cancel the cheque'

Do a letter through the doors of all the house in the area you want, asking if anyone wants to sell, if so to contact you.