AIBU to be upset/angry at older man complaining about children in restaurant.

[Wakingwillow]

Just that really. This is my first post but I've been a long time fan of AIBU. We're visiting the UK for a family event.
We're a family of 6, four kids age 11, 9 and 15 mth twins. Staying in a chain family friendly hotel for the weekend. Extended family here also.
After activities today everyone was tired so we decided to have a group family meal in the hotel restaurant. Total 7 children and 8 adults. 5 of the older children (age 8 to 11) sat at a table together next to us. All were very well behaved stayed seated, coloured pages and chatted. The twins sat with adults and made usual toddler noises but nothing too disruptive imo. We had items to keep them entertained and also took them out to lobby area several times.
We arrived at 6pm but due to under staffing there was a delay taking orders and getting food to the table. Kids were served food about 7.20 pm. Adults at 8 ish. (That needs another thread 😐)
After the toddlers had eaten my husband and I took them upstairs cleaned them up, got their pj's on then went back down with them to eat our own meal.
Just as we started eating an older man came over to our table and said that we had ruined his and his wifes night with all our noise.
I really didn't know what to say. I felt an array of emotions, embarrased, upset and finally annoyed/angry. We apologised for the toddlers being disruptive, explained there had been a long delay in them getting food and said we were doing our best to keep them occupied. I also asked him what else could we do, they had to eat to which he responded they should be feed in the room.
I'm so surprised and upset by this. I've never had this happen before and I'm usually very considerate of other diners when we're out as I'm quite shy and don't like to draw attention.
This has really upset me.
I'm just wondering what others have done / would have done in this situation.

@Picnicinnovember no I'm just tolerant of life....it makes for a lot less stressful life, try it.

Tolerance and allowing people to unfairly disrupt others enjoyment are two different things Charlie.

You're not coming across as being particularly tolerant Charlie. In fact you sound quite aggressive and rude.

@Picnicinnovember NOTHING in the OP makes me think the children were not tolerable? I mean we've even got people clutching pearls because 15 month old babies were changed into their PJs .... I mean how awful a baby in PJs.

Has OP not stated they had stuff to keep them amused and they were amused by being taken out at regular intervals? People then saying ridiculous things like the older children should not have been left with three adults as they may have been really disruptive whilst their parents went for 15/20 mins to change the twins and the other adults not been able to control them.... they're children. Or wild animals!

@Lydiaatthebarre I'm intolerant of people saying people they deem to have loud voices, laughs shouldn't eat out... yep!

Sigh. No one's saying the 'shouldn't eat out'. We're saying that people should be aware of the volume they're speaking at or laughing at in restaurants, or the noise their children are making, and tone it down so that they're not annoying other diners.

And other diners need to be tolerant that others are by nature louder than them, it's life we're all different?

If you can't tolerate one persons laugh when you're out as it's too booming, you need to choose to eat at very quiet times in the restaurant in the hope to avoid. Saturday night in a family friendly restaurant would not be that time. It's likely to be very busy with lots of different groups etc.

The grumpy old sods have been off on one since the referendum.

Yep, I've been very pissed off since the referendum, it was a bloody shocking result.

Not sure that I conform to the whole ageist stereotype though, being a 63 year old remainer.

Does anybody else never notice or get irritated by other people's kids noise due to the immense relief it's not me having 2 deal with it?

My own kids' noise panics me, but never other people's.

"And other diners need to be tolerant that others are by nature louder than them, it's life we're all different?

If you can't tolerate one persons laugh when you're out as it's too booming, you need to choose to eat at very quiet times in the restaurant in the hope to avoid. Saturday night in a family friendly restaurant would not be that time. It's likely to be very busy with lots of different groups etc."

There you go again. People should not in any way modify their behaviour out of consideration for others in public places. Rather, if anyone doesn't like it they can just sod off and go somewhere else.

I presume, like another poster, you are one of those rude annoying people who thinks you should be allowed make as much noise as you like in restaurants and to hell with everyone else.

Really no point in debating with someone like that.

Does anybody else never notice or get irritated by other people's kids noise due to the immense relief it's not me having 2 deal with it?

My feelings exactly.

Being tolerant of noisy people does not equate to being noisy oneself. Thats incredibly lazy thinking. I generally find groups of adults far noisier than families but would never complain anyway. Live and let live.

No Villa but stating that everyone should just put up with noise or leave and basically showing no understanding of why people might find a certain level of noise annoying or unacceptable does indicate that a person lacks a certain awareness.

And your arrogant comment about 'lazy thinking' is right up their with the rude patronising attitude of the grammar and spelling police.

@Villanellenovella I agree, but as soon as you post that you "live and let live" understand that different people all request the same restaurants, you are deemed "oh you're one of those". Ridiculously lazy way to debate.

*frequent not request

@Charlie97, out of curiosity, would you be as tolerant of a group of older people being noisy in front of you bedroom window at 6am when you are trying to enjoy a sleep in?

Or are you only tolerant in situations when you're the noisy one?

@swingofthings come up with a decent comparison and I will answer you, that is ridiculous so not worth answering.

A decent one would be would you be tolerant of a group of people being noisy in a pub, or a park or a situation where chatter and merriment is acceptable.

Perfectly comparable. I'm up at 6am every day so this wouldn't bother at all, but you proved my point that what is acceptable to you is what YOU are not bothered with.

As it happens I'm a 5.30 riser, dog walks, working, busy weekends and all. it that that's relevant! It's all about entering into a situation and having expectations, if I go to a FF restaurant I accept the associated noise. If I go to the theatre or something that needed me to concentrate I don't accept associated noise.

Stop trying to attack me saying I am noisy etc, I make appropriate noise for appropriate situations like most people chatty in pub restaurant and laughing at jokes etc, but not at cinema or theatre. Not if walking home late at night, or when I walk dog early morning.

You're companions are saying I'm noisy and so I think it's ok, when what I'm saying I that in certain situations it's acceptable to be less noise conscious than others.

I personally think the fact he was trying to have a ‘nice adult evening’ in a family pub attached to a chain hotel should tell you far more about this guys life- I imagine he doesn’t have very much to be happy about

MrDarcy. What a ridiculous statement. What special skills you must have if you can deduce anything about this man’s life from where he chooses to eat. Perhaps he was just trying to have dinner where he was staying? Or did this possibility not enter into your powers of deduction?

Some people are deaf so talk louder than others. Some people are partially deaf so others have to speak louder in order for them to hear. Babies will cry as their primary means of communication. Autistic people may stim. It's the world we live in and we can't dictate everyone behaves and sounds the way we wish. If you struggle to fit in with society and get annoyed by other people existing get a takeaway

if I go to a FF restaurant I accept the associated noise
Well I don't. I expect people to seat around a table, enjoy a quiet conversation whilst enjoying the food they are putting in their mouths.

Ill expect kids to be noisy in places designed especially for children, the school playground, the parc, amusement parcs. I wouldn't complain of kids being noisy in these places.

Ultimately this thread confirms what I have sadly experienced, that many people believe it is their right to be noisy in public places and indeed, the reason why I prefer to pay more to be in places where such people are more likely not to invade.

Well I don't. I expect people to seat around a table, enjoy a quiet conversation whilst enjoying the food they are putting in their mouths.

No laughing allowed? You sound like a barrel of fun.....