To expect my boyfriend to drive me home?

[ritabe]

I've been seeing him for 4 months now.
Last Saturday night I stayed at his house (he lives about 30 mins away and I always get the train as it's quick and the station is only a few mins from his house.
Went over ordered food etc and went to bed.
Around 1am I woke up feeling sick and from 1am was vomiting every 10 mins then the stomach pains started,I was dripping in sweat and nearly passed out in the bathroom.
This continued all night and didn't sleep a wink.
It got to 10am and I said there's no way I can get on the train like this (it's a 2 carriage train and it's always full the time it gets to his station)
He said "what you gonna do then?"
I said I don't know (his car is sat on the drive here,thinking he would offer to drive me home)
He didn't so I had to get a taxi and sit in the back of the taxi with a carrier bag incase I vomited.
Luckily I didn't..it was the longest journey ever.
Aibu to think he should have drove me home?

Ditch him & raise your standards about who you share a bed with; as others have said, you are prepared to have sex with him but not ask him for a lift home (You shouldn’t have to, of course he should have offered but you should have had the confidence to ask him when he clearly didn’t offer).

And you say you ‘always’ get the train to his house, does he visit you? Do you go out on dates ? Or is it just a convenient ‘shag’ for him?

Please dump him OP. Four months in and he's behaving like this? He's absolutely not worth bothering any further with.

I hope you're fully better now.

I've never said it before, but going to enjoy this one.

LTB. What a twat. Thank god you found out before it gets serious/you move in with him.

I never get lifts no.
I always go to his as he says my tv is too small
I know I should have asked but I'm such a awkward person,I didn't feel comfortable begging for a lift

Men are stupid, you might have needed to ask

How insulting and lazy. I'm not a man, but I'm married to an incredibly intelligent one, am raising two more and know plenty others. There's stupidity in both sexes.

Men are stupid, you might have needed to ask

ODFOD

Usually you know around the 3 months mark how the relationship is going to be. Oh well, it only took you slightly longer to discover that the guy you are seeing is not very nice.

Honestly OP, he has shown you who he is - knock it on the head now. He didn't even say, "I would drive you but" and come up with an excuse. Too selfish.

I know it's easy for internet strangers to say it and harder for you if you really liked him and thought it was going somewhere... but you must let your self-respect kick in now.

Definitely should not have to ask, but definitely should have asked if he did not offer.

Are you actually going out or just going to his home, ordering takeaway and going to bed?

Also just seen you always go to his.

Agree with pp Bin, bin, bin and be grateful you found out now before you got in too deep.

TBH when this happened to me my boyfriend said no way was he letting me go home in that state.
He insisted I stay another day and looked after me as I recovered.

He is an inconsiderate selfish man. Finish it now and be happy you found out his true nature so soon.

Asking is not begging. That said he doesnt sound like a catch at all. Why not bin him and find someone who likes you more than his tv and enough to get off his arse?

Bin him. He sounds awful.

I'd knock it on the head. In my experience he won't improve.

what was he like in the night when you were sick? did he get up to check on you get you a glass of water sit with you? very selfish not taking you home

He's should have given you a lift. To be brutal I think he's using you for sex and you're doing all the running. LTB. I'd go no contact and block.

You always go to him? He isn’t making any effort whatsoever is he? Do you always have a takeaway or do you ever go out together? Seems to me like he sits back while you provide a meal delivery service with presumably a shag thrown in. Just get rid, he obviously doesn’t give one single shit for you.

To all the posters insisting the OP should’ve asked, if you have to train someone to be a baseline decent human then they probably aren’t worth the effort. What other acts of basic human decency would OP have to coach him in?

OP this is one of those ’if someone shows you who they are, believe them’ situations, otherwise every other week it’ll be ‘aibu he did that,’ and ‘aibu he won’t do this,’ and you really don’t need that level of emotional upheaval in your life.

How on earth did you get together with this man?
Was it on line?
Imagine his dating profile, ‘Must enjoy watching a big tv, must drive to my house & be available for sex’ . He sounds a right catch.
Where is your self esteem?
Ditch him, tell his his dick is too small .

TV too small? Never goes to yours? Sorry but this has got going to shit written all over it.

Get rid. That’s supposed to still be the honeymoon period.

Gosh! When I was seeing someone a long time ago, we lived about an hour away fron each other. I'd go visit him, he'd drive but probably only a handful if times dropped me back home, although one night I went out with friends and plan was to go to his afterwards, some guys tried to scare me and snatched my phone ect, somehow I got it back but at least when I called him to say what happened he picked me up

He doesn’t like you enough to watch a smaller TV half the time, so that you’re not the one traveling.

So why would you ever expect him to care enough to drive you home when sick?

This is why you felt awkward and cheeky asking for a lift - because you already knew that he didn’t care enough about you.

Learn from this... you should have cut this off as soon as he didn’t like you enough to lose a few inches of screen

RAISE YOUR BAR!!!

This unfortunate situation whereby you became unwell, served as a little test for this fledgling relationship and your 'boyfriend' failed. Miserably.

Take note. This is a clue as to his nature and if you are savvy you will get out, pronto.

By way of contrast, when I had been dating my then boyfriend* for a little less time than you've been seeing this individual, a little test of a similar nature (ill health) cropped up. We'd only seen each other a few times really and though things were going really well, I messaged him to explain that I was going to be in no fit state for company for at least a week or two and in so many words that I had no expectations from him to help out or even see me while I was going through this (I was recovering from a minor but very painful surgery). He completely ignored this, insisted on sharing my care with my mum and arrived at my flat with Marks' food he could just stick in the oven (he didn't have much idea of cooking!), along with treats, nibble things, juice, DVD's, magazines and more importantly, an enormous attitude of kindness and I CARE ABOUT YOU.

Theres no reason why your chap couldn't have made it clear to you that, regardless of whether he actually could drive you home for whatever reason, he cared about you. The fact that it seems he absolutely could have driven you home (from what we've been given to understand) just makes it awful. As for 'what you gonna do then?', just no.

LTB You deserve better, any woman would.

*now DH of over 10yrs