New friend keeps asking for childcare favours

[Elmoespanol]

I have a new friend, we met last year at school and have started chatting more this year at school drop off and pick ups and become friends. She is lovely but she is a single mother who is struggling financially with her DD.

She asked me last week, last minute, if i could collect DD along with my DDs and bring her to my house for an hour. This ended up being 3 hours and really disrupted our routine but I didn't mind as i was helping her out.

However, yesterday she asked me to collect her DD again. I said i had somewhere to be after school and was sorry but I couldn't. She messaged me again today to ask if I could collect DD tomorrow. I don't know what to say! I have two DDs of my own who need homework, dinner and baths, etc. I also work from home and so life is hectic.

I really like her as a friend but I feel mean that I can't be doing all these childcare favours for her. However, it seems almost a daily occurence. She used to use the after school club, so i don't know why she isn't doing that anymore?

How do i let her down gently or will i keep having to think of excuses all of the time. I feel like an awful person

I think with these things it's always a judgement call. If when you do her a favour she sounds incredibly grateful and if she's late to pick up she's flustered and apologetic that's one thing. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and be willing to believe she is genuinely struggling and help her out when I reasonably could without totally disrupting my own family life. If she just seems to ask for more or more and gets frosty when you don't do all manner of favours then you have your answer she's just after a free childminder.

If in the first place she had said 'look i am having a major problem affording chuld care' i would probably have helped her out once a week at least. The way in whuch it has been suggested however wpuld really annoy me.

I don’t think you should feel bad that she was different with you after this. She was asking too much and you told her, which was the right thing to do as to do otherwise wasn’t ideal for your family, so if she can’t handle this then she isn’t a real friend and was just using you IMO

Totally agree with you! I never got offered any help with anything by anyone and my family don’t leave nearby! I can’t stand it when people ask for childcare favours all the time

ZOMBIE

Unless @Elmoespanol has an update