to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

[balletclassonfriday]

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

A nail painting party would be totally inappropriate and I would be cross if my DC had been invited.

You’d have to be quite immature to believe the magician’s tricks were real and unfortunately that does take the fun out of it.

I think most people accept that Derren Brown, for example, is not doing real "magic", but they find him entertaining nonetheless. As I said upthread, I've really enjoyed the magician parties I've been to as an adult.

It's perfectly possible to grow up too fast in some ways yet be very immature and incapable.

This, with bells on.

I'll admit the pamper party my daughter was invited to I didn't like. Putting make up on a 7 or8 year old (I forget when), is highly inappropriate. However, I also don't like magicians. So trips to theatre for two friends, trips to theme parks for 2 friends, trips to cinemas for 2 friends, is all I'll do.

So Penn and Teller, David Copperfield, Derren Brown, to name just 3 magicians are ‘babyish’. How do those kids know how the magician is going to pitch it? What I think is ‘a sign if the times’ is the rudeness of the way these children have refused the invitation. I know for a fact my children would never have declined an invitation in a way that was hurtful. And that goes straight back to the parents. So hope your friends daughter has a lovely day. It doesn’t have to be ‘babyish ‘ , just call it ‘retro’. I’m sure they could all have a good time if it’s pitched age appropriate.

I agree with racecardriver. More down to the type of kids. Rude grunts. Spoilt as fuck. Dd always used to have friends over. I'd make nice food. Games and an entertainer although to be fair not sure if I still did it at 9. Still rude spoilt little bastards imho

The children are rude. Some children are brought up to be very 'grabby', entitled and have a 'the more showy and the more money spent the better' attitude... then they turn into dreadful adults with the same traits.. (and no money but lots of debts) and anxiety issues since they have to compete on some form of social media and show off their 'oh so wonderful life'

Anyway that's my rant for the day

Make up and nail parties for young children is a dreadful idea. I do judge parents who organise these for 9 and 10 year olds.

We had party games and races and a picnic in the park until DDs were about 11. Always went down very well. This was recent.
Personally, I love a magician.
Have to wonder how many parties these children go to if they're already bored, aged 9.

The children are rude

Oh cmon, kids are notoriously brutal to one another, and anyone thinking my little darling would never say such a thing to a fellow pupil have their heads up their arses, if your kid doesn't really like the birthday kid, or wanted to fit in with someone else, they would indeed say it's babyish etc.

They might not say it in front of the adults, but when no one is watching, we all know, all bets are off.

pamper parties? Nail painting?

Chavvy. And you know I'm saying what you're all thinking.

Still, important for girls to learn as soon as possible that their main role in life is to look pretty.

Exactly RiverTam, I totally agree with you.

My year 1 son (5-6) went to a 6th party with a magician recently and a few kids challenged the magician and tried to prove it was fake
These littlies really do grow up too quickly. So savvy!

Don't worry about the nay sayers. It's not their party!

I wouldn't call it Chavvy, it's no more chavvy than when my SILs bought my daughter a pram (when I didn't want her to have one, it's not as though they bought one for my son at the same age). But simply (and here I agree), it is about learning what their main role in life is.

All it takes is one mum to want a Mini-me and the infection spreads.

You're not saying what I'm thinking @RiverTam

My DD went to a party last year where the birthday girl and 5 friends went and got their nails done, the salon make it fun, give them drinks and cake, then guess what: they went to soft play, then the park, and had a great time.

I think it's nice, they still wanted to do the proper fun stuff, but also got to play at being grown up for a bit. Just like when I used to spend hours in my mums heels, pushing my doll in her pram up and down the street.

If they are bored of games and cake st 9 imagine how they will be at 21. No wonder kids seek thrills through drugs when the world is so boring at 9... 🙄

Plenty of Generation X, brought up on cake and pass the parcel at parties, seek or sought thrills through drugs and alcohol. The younger generations are on the whole a good deal more sensible. I don't think the two things are necessarily related.

How rude they should be grateful to be invited. Children need to be able to be children, you are long time grown up. My DD is 11 and she is definitely a child still and she would love to go at her age.

OP is it the party that your daughter wants? If so then I think thats lovely. I would always keep home parties to only a few kids though. My daughter had a sleepover for 10th at home. 3 friends. I made them a chill out zone in the garden and they had pizza. No games as such but if there was a magician and he did a magic workshop type thing I think they would have loved it. X

is that a whole class party? where you invite just for numbers, rather than actual friends.
Kids are rude (and spoiled), but I assume they aren't really friends with each other.

When I was growing up, (1980s/1990s) there were 2 choices until prbably teenage years. An at home party or Macdonalds. (I found the macdonalds ones boring, once you'd been to one, all the others were exactly the same and I didn't like Macdonalds food). Most parties my children get invited to are out of the house, which is fine. But when pps are saying kids are having magicians etc when they are like 2 or 3 that sets the bar and expectations really high for subsequent years. I found when my kids were about 7 or 8 they were being invited to parties at venues up to an hour away from home which I think seems a bit far for a party thats only 1.5-2 hours.....but I literally think the kids( parents) had probably exhausted every option in the local area!

I expect bowling and Macdonald's is much easier to organise and doesn't require as much imagination. Personally I'd be encouraging mine to be group minded and support their friend's choice, and who knows, they might enjoy something different. Childhood is short (some seem determined to shorten it even further) and you don't get the same chance for magical experiences for many years.

True story..... A friend of mine has a DD in Y6 - those that didn't go on the residential had a secret vote to choose where to go for a treat instead.... They only went and chose a build-a-bear workshop! Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened if the vote wasn't secret, a lot of it is swagger and bravado. Reader, they had a great time!