to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

[balletclassonfriday]

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

The kids are rude, probably as their parents are

Shit I’ve just booked a magician for DS’s 7th! Surely 7 year olds aren’t too grown up for a magician? DS is totally excited about it!

When ds2 was 9 we took 7 friends bowling and then for a meal at a well known restaurant who brought out his cake whilst happy birthday played. The boys loved it.

Honestly the girls at that age in school, where having things like pamper parties getting their nails done, or having sleepovers with pizza, movies, and doing each other’s hair and nails etc.

Honestly I haven’t heard of a magician since one party in reception when my eldest was there (14 years ago). I thought they were old news now🤷🏻‍♀️

Apparently this guy does lots of parties for older kids. It's not really a magic show it's a workshop where he shows the kids how to do the tricks. I would have thought 8 and 9 year olds would love that.

Obviously it's rude to say it, but yes, it does sound very babyish for a 9yo party

Mrscog - 7 is fine (based on my two, anyway!) 8-9 seems to be when they start rejecting things that they perceive as babyish (like Frozen, in my 9yo DD's case) even if they go back to them when they are a bit older.

that sounds great! But 'magician' by itself might be sending a different message. If his name is on the invite personally I would always look him up and thus know the kind of thing on offer.

A sad reflection of the times

Eeh, I know - in my day, for a party, all the children of the neighbourhood would gather on the village green and be allowed to look at a picture of some sweets. We would have been GRATEFUL for a friend of the family doing some magic tricks - we would have thought it was VE day all over again!

Kids today...tchoh...its SO SAD.

(Actually, it seems like "kids today" can't get anything right - they're either growing up too fast, or they're a cotton wool generation who can't make a slice of toast until they're 25. Make your mind up, Daily Mail!)

I say it again, it is all in how you sell it.
So, a magic workshop to learn some magic tricks, sold as that, sounds quite cool. Magician and cake, sounds babyish.

Home parties are great, dcs friends have always had a good time, partly because they were different, and NOT Pizza hut etc, but you do need them to saound good too!

If they are all turning their noses up I would say there is also something in there about who are his actual friends and how popular he is (sadly)

TBVH, ds hasn't been to a party like that since he was under 5. At home parties at 9 have been no more than 4 kids, pizza, cake and computer games, or a couple to film/bowling/laserquest/skating or whatever

I don't know any children that would turn down a party. Parties don't have to be expensive - my friend did a brilliant treasure hunt party for her 11 year old. I'm sorry I'm not sure about a magician for a 9 year old...but that said I still don't know any children who would refuse to go! I wonder if this child is having issues at school.

The magician is a bit young for a nine year old. Maybe she can think of some other sort of entertainment. Karaoke maybe? That was my idea, maybe not a good one.

There are loads of suggestions if you google 'party for nine year old', including Dragon's Den.

I hope it all works out, it is hurtful for the child that her friends can't be bothered to come.

a magic workshop is totally different to a show. fine for that age.

I'm very grateful to have grown up in the 90s now. We had technology(not IPads or similar as they do now) but I played computer games most days, had consoles and used the Internet from around 10/11 but I still loved playing with my toys, games involving the imagination, reading and bug hunting. Our school brought magicians, puppet shows, The Singing Kettle, actors and other entertainers in even at 8 and 9/10 and we loved them. I feel so old talking like this but it's true.

The children are just rude and I would cross them off the list for future gatherings. If they were invited round to play would they come! The parents have something to answer to as well. I would be apalledif mine said any such thing

DD is 12 and would love this party, while also enjoying more grown up things like escape rooms and bowling or whatever. I think the guests behaved very rudely indeed. Even if it is what they think, their parents should have made sure they knew not to say so.

My dad had a magician for his 70th everyone loved it, young and old!

I think I'm turning into the female Victor Meldrew.

Very rude. To be honest, it sounds like the whole babyish and boring idea is coming from the parents and not the children.

Agree re the rudeness.
In my world even if you don't fancy something, actually you take the trouble to turn up if you're invited.

I think children are often very easily influenced by their peers - it would only take one child to say 'that sounds babyish' when invitations were handed out for them all to chirp up.
I think a workshop with tricks being demonstrated sounds reat for that age group - and if they went along they would most likely enjoy it. Magicians have been entertainment for kids and adults for years - presumably of the guy does t often he knows how to pitch it age appropriately. I find it a bit sad on here that some are saying it is babyish.

My kids would have loved that at 9 and would have felt it made a nice change from the endless round of McDonalds type identical formatted parties. And anyone who thinks it is Ok for kids to be rude and say rude stuff about someone else's party needs to take a look at their parenting.

I have friend with older children that that who love doing magic tricks and watching magic shows (kids of 11/12).

Feel sad for your friend and her little girl - I hope some children turn up and she has a good time.

I don’t see what’s rude about declining an invitation. It’s not a summons. My DS regularly declines class parties, he’s just not that fussed about them. We also sometimes decline parties because of diary clashes, other commitments or distance / lack of public transport. It’s never occurred to me that that’s rude.

I think we're raising a generation of kids that are becoming a bit world weary before their time. When I was 8 or 9 a magician at a party would have been considered brilliant.

In any event it is incredibly rude of the children to say what they said, and I can't believe one poster on here thought it was okay. What kind of manners is she teaching her kids?

Corney did you actually read the OP?

You'd be surprised what kids think is babyish these days. My son is 7 and into power rangers but all it took is one comment for a couple of kids calling it stupid and babyish that he doesn't watch it anymore.

My dd is the youngest in year(relevant) and I noticed this issue at her 10th birthday party. My dd wanted cinema followed by Mac Donald's takeaway. That was fine. She also wanted a piñata and pass the parcel. The kids who were closer to 11 did NOT want to play and set about running around and being pain in the arses.