Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

472 replies

balletclassonfriday · 22/01/2019 14:14

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 23/01/2019 18:55

Strangerthongs a magic workshop for 9 year old's babyish, I guess your one of those ignorant parents.

shadypines · 23/01/2019 18:56

I am confused when people are saying magicians are babyish for children this age! Primary school!! And it depends on the magician, some are going to pitch at young children and some at older kids, just like any entertainer would eg comedian.

If my children were invited to ANY sort of party they would accept gratefully and appreciate that someone has made the effort to ask them and someone's parents are making the effort too.

We are teaching our kids a very poor lesson if having fun has to involve spending a large volume of money and being showy.

YANBU at all because it def is a reflection of the times.

Sara107 · 23/01/2019 19:05

Myimaginarycat, I agree totally - depends on the magician. We went to an 80th birthday and there was a great table magician. My dd was just turned 8 and she loved it. I’m actually amazed at all the people saying magicians are too babyish for 9 yr olds, I would imagine most kids love (age appropriate) magic. Personally I think 9 yr olds are too young for ‘movie and pizza’ parties. My dd went to a couple last year and they were disastrous- the kids didn’t settle to watching the movie, there were arguments between those who were trying to watch and those messing about, half of them wandered off to do other things (mainly arguing). I think kids do much better with something more structured.

Sb74 · 23/01/2019 19:07

I’m sorry but it does sound babyish. My daughter was 3 the last time she had a magician for her party (12). I’m not being mean but kids are very different to our day. That party sounds lovely for 1982 but not now. And that is sad. I think just ditch the magician- let them watch movies, do makeovers and let them entertain themselves as a sleepover. That’s what they like now. I think the party is fine it’s just the magician bit needs to go. Kids do decline invites too. Rude but true. It’s social media and American tv. They’re all pretty confident in what they like now. Goodness knows what they’ll be like when older!!

Sb74 · 23/01/2019 19:08

I disagree- 9 year olds are where it all starts!!

ILoveDolly · 23/01/2019 19:08

Maybe they aren't the right friends. My 13yo had a snake and lizard party at our house where handling live creatures and eating cake were the main activities. A spontaneous game of twister happened after lunch. The seven 13yo laughed all day. I envy her and her self styled "super nerd" gang

CreakyBlinder · 23/01/2019 19:12

@Sb74 I disagree with everything you said! (Sorry) Smile

I'm not so sure 9 year olds are all that different - or at least they don't have to be. I think parents are different - weirdly keen to see their kids grow up before they really need to.

In the last year my DD went to a makeover party and half a dozen traditional games/music type parties. She enjoyed every one.

Limensoda · 23/01/2019 19:13

9 year olds have never been interested in magicians. They are not so easily fooled

Oh ffs! Another one who knows what ALL 9 year olds like?!!
Adults know magic isn't real but many pay to see magicians.
Kids magicians are entertaining and often involves some comedy and getting the kids involved.

Pinkblanket · 23/01/2019 19:14

My eight year old would be happy to go to such a party and would not dream of being so rude.

Deadbudgie · 23/01/2019 19:15

Tbh it sounds like a five year olds party. Defo the magician and party games (might get away with pass the parcel with nice pressie) to do a cheap party at that age I’d be doing close friends sleep over, dvds, pizza, nibbles etc.

V rude of the guests though to call her out though they should be polite enough to go. What are her friends doing for birthdays. I always use this as a gauge to see numbers of invitees, themes etc

Sb74 · 23/01/2019 19:15

The lizard patty sounds cool. My kids are both lovely as are their friends. They are 10 and 12 but unfortunately I know they wouldn’t want a magician at their party. I don’t even have to ask them. It’s sad but true.

Canuckduck · 23/01/2019 19:19

Very rude. My 9 year old would happily go to that kind of party. We had a small sleepover for her birthday with crafts, pizza and a movie and the girls spent a lot of the party playing with barbies and Lol dolls. 9 year olds are still children.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/01/2019 19:20

Just because your 9 year old would not like it, it is not reflective of all 9 year olds, and as you can see from some of the varied posts on here, a lot would love it!

Bozlem80 · 23/01/2019 19:20

I hate kids birthday parties & this is the reason why it would break my heart if nobody turned up to my kids parties, some parents are bloody selfish & cruel it’s not about them it’s about making a child happy on their birthday.

Sparklyhousedust · 23/01/2019 19:21

How rude. My kids would have enjoyed that:/ Sounds good to me and I know plenty of their school friends who have done or would do the same type of party. DCs are 7&9.

Sb74 · 23/01/2019 19:21

I can assure you I do not want my kids to grow up quickly. I ask them what they want for their parties and magicians and party games don’t feature. I wish they did. I’m not going to force my kids to have parties they would feel embarrassed about. Their participation would depend on the situation. With friends they would feel embarrassed and babyish but if it was just family they are more likely to play games etc. I think at 9 kids do start to feel more self-conscious about things. That’s my experience of my kids and their friends. I do think it’s sad but a lot of things kids did years ago would be frowned upon now. It’s just how life is.

ShesABelter · 23/01/2019 19:22

I'm really surprised by that. My 9 year old was at a party last month in someone's house with no magician and 15 of them invited all turned up.

DinkyDaisy · 23/01/2019 19:22

I haven't read the whole thread. I do have a 9 year old, who at this very moment is playing with a magic kit he got for Christmas! He would love your party. [He also likes Minecraft etc so magic and modernity are not mutually exclusive...].
Very rude response- sure kids that do come to the party will enjoy it and ' their loss' to the others...

Mumchatting · 23/01/2019 19:23

Yeah, we live in sad times if children are so spoilt with all the choice they have that they only like bowling or McDonald's for the party. Gosh, I'm glad I was a primary school kid in the 90's, where choice was very limited but we had fun!!! Parties were great. And 9 years old were still children not teenagers. Home parties were common, games, baloons, cakes and snacks. That's all. We enjoyed the time spent together.

Housecoatdiva · 23/01/2019 19:34

The party idea sounds great. Kids will love learning a few tricks. I don't think it's a sign of the times - there are just some rude kids in your child's class. I hope the party goes well and she has a fantastic time. Xx

bamboo12 · 23/01/2019 19:35

I don't often comment but I think it sound fun. My two girls love magicians and are 8 and 10.

My 8 year olds last party was a home party, we did some craft activities, they played on the Wii U and did some games. Some of the kids were a bit unsure about pass the parcel at first, which I thought yes it is quite a young thing to do, but then they all love unwrapping LOL dolls so why not a present each in pass the parcel!! In the end I think they did like it.

I hate arranging parties for my kids now as there is so much expectation for it to be cool. But I had at home parties until I was 12!!

I think the children are rude and so are the parents, I certainly wouldn't be bothering inviting them again.

Marcipex · 23/01/2019 19:35

I have seen children that age very rudely heckle the magician at a party.
So yes I think sadly they're too old for it, also rude and ungrateful.

Housecoatdiva · 23/01/2019 19:38

Sb74
I think your wrong. There are different types of magicians. My DC school hire a magician for their end of school treat. He's hilarious and pitches the tricks and jokes to all ages. He also teaches a few tricks which the older kids absolutely love.
I would be mortified if any of my children told another child they were not coming to their party because it's babyish. So unbelievably thoughtless and rude.

qumquat · 23/01/2019 19:42

My 9th birthday party was Alice in Wonderland themed and was party games and party tea. It was ace! I think this is really sad. I'm a secondary drama teacher and kids all the way up to 16 love games. If 16 year olds still love games then 9 yr olds certainly still do! It's just not considered cool sadly.

Aridane · 23/01/2019 19:49

Rude , hurtful and bad manners

Swipe left for the next trending thread