To find this message from DP a complete turn off

[NotABirthdayTreat]

DP sent me a message earlier ‘ are you going to dress sexy tonight?’

I’m in jeans & a jumper waiting for him to come home. I’ll be cooking dinner (again) & he’ll be coming in in his sports kit.

AIBU to find it a turn off ?

“What’s wrong with sexting??”

It’s sexual, so it’s inherently bad or demeaning or something.

Oh yeah, I forgot on mn you’re I lay allowed missionary position with 3 days notice and the lights off

I'm sorry, these made me laugh. Good on you ladies. Honestly guys are just clueless sometimes, bless them.

My ex never would have, but the bf I had subsequently might have when we were madly in love, or I might have to him. I can't see much wrong with it TBH.

Why, where are you taking me?

Ask where you are going

If he makes effort for you, why not? If he doesn't, well this is your chance to ask him to.

Or say fuck it, ltb and join the single posters here trying to boost their numbers.

I don't know why I'm thinking of Lisa Stansfield scrubbing the step now

'I may notttttt be a layyyyydeee'

Er, if that's not something you'd normally do, are you sure it was meant for you?!

Is he coming in in sports kit from the 'gym'?

Maybe Mumsnet has warped my brain over the years or maybe it's just the lack of sexting in my relationship but if I got that I would immediately smell a rat.

He doesn’t need to ask that, I always make sure I look sexy. Give him something welcoming to come home to. Don’t need to be wearing stockings and suspenders.

"Who's Sexy and why can't they dress themselves?"

I've been known to 'helpfully' and hypocritically correct the SpaG in DH's messages. It's a wonder we're still married

Or say fuck it, ltb and join the single posters here trying to boost their numbers.

I am still trying to figure out why this is bad. Sometimes a little sexting or sexy chat helps keep the spark alive. Not everyone wants ok it’s Wednesday are you happy to have sex tonight or should we postpone this week 🙄.

Variety is the spice of life if this sort of thing isn’t for you then let him know sexting doesn’t really do it for you and then for God’s sake let him know what does. But bear in mind of sexting turns him on bores you and you don’t want him to do it, there is a possibility it’s the same vice versa.

My response to my DH if he sent me a text like that would be “why what’s in it for me 😘” I have on occasion also sent him a picture of my hold up clad leg...... on a weeknight...... and I didn’t ask his permission either.

There are a lot of people on MN who want to control sex and need to relax.

OP just talk to your DH find something that works.

Oh yeah, I forgot on mn you’re I lay allowed missionary position with 3 days notice and the lights off 

And try not to let your Wincyette nightie get above your knee.

Tribbles, quite. I also expect my DP to look presentable, too - though if he started coming home in horrid artificial fibre running gear or jeans or some such crime against clothing, my sexiness might be sorely tested.

So did you wear your thigh-high fisherman's waders, OP?

Surely he is just trying to spice things up a little and has just gone a little astray.

Why do so may feel the need to tell the whole world if their partner has a little misstep?

Personally I would find my most mismatched clothes and make a joke out of it, then it will turn in to a fun game with a laugh for both of you.

I wouldn't like that either.

I think a sexy message saying what he's going to do to you, what he wants you to do to him etc is a nice surprise and just keeping the spark alive.

But demanding that you dress sexy is a bit different. As others have said, unless he's taking you out I don't see why you should bother? You're doing chores at home so that he can go and do something nice for himself? Especially when he's coming home in a sweaty sports kit...

Sexy texts/messages never work. We've both given up years ago as the timing always seems to be wrong and they either go over the other person's head or they're just not in the mood for it!

‘Are you going to make dinner?’

“Er, if that's not something you'd normally do, are you sure it was meant for you?!

Is he coming in in sports kit from the 'gym'?

Maybe Mumsnet has warped my brain over the years or maybe it's just the lack of sexting in my relationship but if I got that I would immediately smell a rat.”

Deary me.

*Deary me"

As is said upthread, "Or say fuck it, ltb and join the single posters here trying to boost their numbers."

He's cheating OP! Come join us!

“There are a lot of people on MN who want to control sex and need to relax.“

It’s an interesting point. I think there may be an evolutionary element which makes some women want to discourage other women from sex. Or perhaps it is societal. Not sure. But I do find it odd for adults to often be so hostile towards adult sexuality.

@StreetwiseHercules much more eloquently put than me. Thank you.

Ew.

That's so not sexy at all.

But he's just clumsily asking for a bit of attention........... I don't think I'd LTB quite yet.